African American, Humor, Satire, Television

Whitley and Dwayne Still Not Legally Married

By Shawna Collier

k-j3Still in love, but still not legal

(ATLANTA) They’ve been together 17 years, but Dwayne Wayne and Whitley Gilbert never got around to signing a marriage license.

The Peoples News has learned that the couple, whose up-and-down romance was chronicled in the early 90s documentary A Different World, has been living together as common law spouses since the their ‘wedding.’

“Dwayne kept saying we’d go get the marriage license someday, but that’s just how he is, always puttin’ stuff off,” said Whitley.

The former classmates at Hillman College dated for several years. But during one of their many breaks, Whitley started a romance with Byron Douglas, a man with political aspirations who her mother adored.

Douglas proposed and Whitley accepted, but from the beginning she had reservations. During the ceremony, Dwayne ran to the front and asked Whitley to marry him–she accepted and the minister performed the ceremony for them.

But without a legitimate license, the ceremony is just for show.

The couple planned to get a license right after their honeymoon but those plans were waylaid by the L.A. riots. Afterward, their wacky whirlwind of a life kept them busy. Within just a few months,they argued over new furniture, were robbed, got a ne puppy, and Dwayne worked at least three jobs.

“It seemed like every week, something crazy would happen to us,” says Dwayne. “It was a madcap life, and then we moved to Tokyo and had a baby.”

But when asked about life overseas, Dwayne couldn’t think of a single anecdote.

Still even with a child in tow, the parents dabbled in many careers.

“I’ve been a doctor, a lawyer, a police officer. I’ve even communed with the dead—which was really good, because Dwayne was dead once,” Whitley says.

She turned to Dwayne, who nodded and said, “In ’97, but only for about an hour and a half.”

“Life has been really fulfilling,” said Whitley.

Her common-law husband said the same thing. After leaving Hillman, Dwayne left teaching behind. He recently became a judge.

“Being a judge is great, because you get to decide on people’s lives,” he said. “But really, fatherhood is the best job there is. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Then he patted Whitley’s leg and said, “Next to, of course, almost marrying this woman right here.”

Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News.


© 2009 The Peoples News

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Discussion

4 thoughts on “Whitley and Dwayne Still Not Legally Married

  1. I think I vaguely remember them — wow, that was a long time ago

    Posted by Davis | May 19, 2009, 9:48 am
  2. What happened to you guys last week? I missed my weekly People’s News fix.

    Posted by KJohnson | May 19, 2009, 10:46 pm
  3. funny as hell…when you find freddie, let me know.

    Posted by Michael A. Gonzales | May 20, 2009, 6:28 am
  4. That was awesome! Love the Sixth Man and Everybody Hates Chris references! Keep up the good work!

    Posted by Aimee | May 20, 2009, 9:22 am

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