Humor, Satire

Federal Judge: Enough With the Stupid Names

By Bill Matthews

 

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After Judge Cabrera’s historic ruling, little Clitoria Jackson will likely undergo a name change.

(DETROIT) In a decision that’s expected to send shockwaves through the African-American community—and yet, give much relief to teachers everywhere—a federal judge ruled today that black women no longer have independent naming rights for their children. Too many black children—and many adults—bear names that border on not even being words, he said.

“I am simply tired of these ridiculous names black women are giving their children,” said U.S. Federal Judge Ryan Cabrera before rendering his decision. “Someone had to put a stop to it.”

The rule applies to all black women, but Cabrera singled out impoverished mothers.

“They are the worst perpetrators,” he said. “They put in apostrophes where none are needed. They think a ‘Q’ is a must. There was a time when Shaniqua and Tawanda were names you dreaded. Now, if you’re a black girl, you hope you get a name as sensible as one of those.”

Few stepped forward to defend black women—and black women themselves seemed relieved.

“It’s so hard to keep coming up with something unique,” said Uneeqqi Jenkins, 22, an African-American mother of seven who survives on public assistance. Her children are named Daryl, Q’Antity, Uhlleejsha, Cray-Ig, Fellisittee, Tay’Sh’awn and Day’Shawndra.

Beginning in one week, at least three white people must agree with the name before a black mother can name her child.

“Hopefully we can see a lot more black children with sensible names like Jake and Connor,” Cabrera said.

His ruling stemmed from a lawsuit brought by a 13-year-old girl whose mother created her name using Incan hieroglyphics.

“She said it would make me stand out,” said the girl, whose name can’t be reproduced by The Peoples News’ technology. “But it’s really just stupid.”

The National Association of Elementary School Teachers celebrated Cabrera’s decision.

“Oh my God, the first day of school you’d be standing there sweating, looking at the list of names wondering ‘How do I pronounce Q’J’Q’Sha.’?” said Joyce Harmon, NAEST spokeswoman. “Is this even English?”

The practice of giving black children outlandish names began in the 1960s, when blacks were getting in touch with their African roots, said historian Corlione Vest. But even he admits it got out of hand.

“I have a niece who’s six. I’m embarrassed to say I can’t even pronounce her name,” said Vest, a professor at Princeton University. “Whenever I want to talk to her, I just wait until she looks at me and then I wave her over.”

Cabrera’s ruling exempted black men because so few of them are actually involved in their children’s lives.

Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think.

© 2008 The Peoples News

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Discussion

429 thoughts on “Federal Judge: Enough With the Stupid Names

  1. I am happy to see that this action has been taken. I have an unusual name and in that I am 77 years of age it is very offensive to me when I am asked by cacausians if I have one of those “new names.”

    I am very proud of my name for it came from one of my West Indian relatives.

    Posted by Etheldra | March 10, 2008, 7:09 pm
    • The judge is out of her mind, who wants to walk around with 2 first names like Bob John , our names have meaning to them. If the judge lived in Africa then what would she do ? The judge should stop worrying about names and start worrying about all the white Tom’s that are molesting children, oh I forgot they get slapped on the wrist by judges like this one and let go to molest again. Stop worrying about a name and worry about the real problems going on in the world. If the educated teachers can’t pronounce a name maybe they need to find another profession. GET REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Posted by Tracey gray | January 26, 2010, 4:05 pm
      • It was not real Tracey.

        Posted by Summer | July 14, 2010, 10:27 am
      • Here’s your crown, Queen Stupid.

        Posted by Biddy | May 13, 2011, 8:12 pm
      • That is the dumbest response I’ve seen so far First thing about these “new Names” Are these people so stupid that they can’t use proper grammer to even spell some of these ridiculous names. Sometimes it seems like they mangle namesw of things they may nver be able to afford. I saw Oprah telling someone on her show that one of her nieces is namesd mercedesiQuia, what the hell is that. The most important thing to remember is that these poor kids have to go through life with these names. Just think of all the trouble they’ll have with legal documents credit card bills and the rest that will get routed wrong or never sent at all because of the spelling how many times will you have to deal with the IRS just to get the name on your refund correct. I’ve got a very old school common name and they screw that up, what do you think will happen with a neam with nine vowels and four apostrophy’s.

        Posted by Jack | May 26, 2011, 5:52 pm
      • As a black woman, I cannot believe that names like Lemon-Jello pronounced (Lay-mon-juh-lo) or La-a pronounced Luh dash uh can be considered to have meaning. Some people have taken the unique name situation too far. Children are labeled from the get go and predestined for failure because of a ghetto name that has NO meaning other then my mom was too darn foolish to name me something sensible!

        Posted by Erika | May 27, 2011, 10:06 am
      • Oh God you’re an idiot. It is hysterical that anyone can read an article that is so obviously satire and get so incredibly heated. Bringing “white Tom’s” (which is a sweeping racial generalization regarding skin color of child molesters…ahem…R.Kelly [cough]) child molestation into it and pointing out the disparity in the justice system in such an eloquent and well-spoken way was a nice touch. I do believe that teachers, however, should be able to pronounce names that are completely made up, and often times, completely unique to the individual unfortunate enough to have the moniker (which is essentially what the author of this satirical piece is implying in his/her exaggerated depiction of modern African American names) inflicted upon them in every situation. We all know teachers are making enough that they should be capable of pronouncing correctly names that truly, only the student and his/her mother would know how to correctly pronounce. Thank you Tracey for your BRILLIANT social commentary. Oh, just one element of this piece that I stumbled upon that you, in your astute observation of the article must have just overlooked inadvertently, was the sentence at the end of the article that stated in larger and italicized print that this article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think. Allow me to reiterate: IDIOT…

        The Peoples News responds: Justin, play nice.

        Posted by Justin Cooper | October 28, 2011, 6:45 pm
      • Moron…you’re name should be La’Douche’Bag…

        Posted by John LaQueesha Lo'Quinta La La'La...etc. | January 22, 2012, 11:17 am
      • My God! You must be the dumbest person ive run across on the internet. Maybe the top 5 dumbest. Tracy they don’t get much stupider than you. Everything you’ve said screams that you have no brain. Where are you from?

        Posted by nobaddog | March 30, 2014, 10:52 pm
      • Uh…the judge is male. And don’t insert an apostrophe (i.e. Tom’s) in a plural noun. Finally, teachers have enough to do without having to strain over La’Vontrash’e.

        Posted by Runon MD1 | May 20, 2014, 12:28 pm
    • I’m a Black woman. I think that this was extremely amusing. The problem, however is not amusing. I do agree that some of these young women are creating huge problems for their children with these ridiculous names. And, it is embarrassing as well.
      But, when writing an article, even in satire, please remember not to place mass generalizations. Everyone black child does not have these new ridiculous names. Every black women does not like or agree with these names. No one in my extended family does and I certainly did not give my children any of these names.
      And FYI, my husband, father, grandfather, father in law, brothers in law and uncles would take offence to the statement that most black men are not involved with their children anyway.
      My name is Angelette Renee, which is French. I love it.

      Posted by Angelette Jackson | January 27, 2010, 12:57 pm
      • Of the whole article, that last statment stood out the most to me. These times are showing just how stupid and judgemental people have become. I am a black mother of a son that is named after me. My name is Kace and he is Kason (Kace’s son).

        Posted by Kace | April 24, 2011, 5:53 pm
    • I am from the West Indies. Even our names causasians want to control. My God!! why do we allow these people to control every, every, every thing.

      Posted by Jean Joseph | July 10, 2011, 9:43 pm
      • The problem is that you have to have money to make money and most of the people running the businesses you may need to hire you or work with you are often of European descent. Picking a name that sounds familiar to them helps gain their cooperation, at least as far as getting you in the door for an interview where you can hopefully showcase the fact you can probably do the work.

        Picking a radically different name–especially in a culture where people know where the money is–merely shows a lack of investment in their culture and forces them to question whether you’ll share the same culture/work ethic/etc. they have.

        In a way, it’s like a facial tattoo that precedes it’s way into the office ahead of you…

        A better idea might simply to give a child a “whitish” name and the name you’d like them to have. So, in home/friends circles, they can be anything they want, but for job applications and the government, use an initial and the “whitish” name.

        For example: William Tecumseh Sherman (if you don’t know who he is, just ask a Southerner).

        He could be Tecumseh around friends, for example, and William T. Sherman for everyone else.

        Or Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald became F. Scott Fitzgerald professionally.

        This way, you have given the child a unique name AND the means to get in the door in white society…

        Posted by Deathbunny | August 28, 2011, 1:38 am
      • It’s not a matter of control…do you think the names would be any less idiotic if the individual were white? Like Cletis or Durfree Jim Bob, or other shit-kicker names like that? Stop playing the slave victim. You’re not entitled to it.

        Posted by Runon MD1 | May 20, 2014, 12:38 pm
    • It’s a SATIRE. (that means it is not real) See italic at the end of article.

      The Peoples News responds: She wrote her comment more than 3 years ago. Why do you feel the need to respond to her?

      Posted by Jim | November 26, 2011, 10:10 am
      • Someone else might be thinking the same thing and agreeing. You MUST respond, no matter how old the comment!!!! Human nature.

        Posted by Paula | November 28, 2012, 9:21 am
    • Tracy, statistics prove that more black men molest children than white men do. The problem is, that in the black home, these children do not come forward. An about your first name comment, I have never seen a white girl with the name Bob John. But if I did I would think its silly. I think you should get real, like real soon. The problem in the ghetto is that the black men are not around, and the black women end up with these bastard welfare kids, and the grandmothers end up raising them. It is not the childs fault, but the ignorant whore whom spreads her nappy legs and gets a dose of baby daddy sperm. To all of you Bon Qui Qui’s, Tonquandra’s, Rah-niqua, La-Porche, etc etc, just because you settled for a life of babymaking and being on welfare, you should want better for your children. With your help we can break the cycle of ignorance. Do your part by either stop getting pregnant, or get someone to teach your child the importance of education and self worth, because you sure dont have any.

      Posted by Pressman | April 13, 2014, 11:38 am
  2. While I agree that the name issue warrants review and has gotten out of control, I do not aggree with the Judges ruling that a parent particularly a black mother does not have the right to name her child simply because others find it chalenging to pronounce the name. I think it is even more apauling for the Judge to make the assumption that three wite people will be able to pick a name foe the child or even agree on the same name. Lastly, I think it is even more rediculus for the Judge to make make black men exempt from the ruling because he has made erroneous conclusion that most black men are not involved in their children’s lives.

    Posted by Ronald Jackson | March 10, 2008, 7:45 pm
    • Very well said and while I agree with most of it, I have to respectfully disagree with the first. Life is hard enough for a child, why make it harder by issuing them a name that instantly subjects them to ridicule. Additionally, why not give your child a name they can learn to spell be fore they reach 3rd grade.

      Posted by Erika | May 27, 2011, 10:09 am
    • I was with you all the way up to….wite, and foe…..???

      Posted by Whitey Black | August 21, 2011, 12:40 pm
    • Ronald, Ronald, Ronald. Go back to school and learn to spell.

      It’s agree, judge’s, challenging, appalling, judge, white, for (For Christ’s sake, Ronald…”foe”???), ridiculous, judge, “he has come to an erroneous conclusion.

      Posted by Runon MD1 | May 20, 2014, 12:44 pm
  3. some of the parents seem to want to challenge society … black or white. seems they are
    looking at the current fun or provocative situation they are currently in. sad that they cannot see
    the position parents place their daughters as well as their sons in with these bizzare names
    they register on their birth certificates. perhaps they are leaders of an elite group yet to come.

    Posted by carie roberson | March 10, 2008, 10:09 pm
  4. parents cannot feel or see the hurt these funny names present in an elementary classroom or
    social group. Poor kids, one has to feel sorry of them. Yet they have to bear the brunt of their guardians labeling tricks.

    Challenge because a name such as Clitoris would certainly have to be changed, with rising cost it could turn out to be a financial burden later on.

    One can see how short range this sort of thinking is when Cleo Toressa would do just fine, if that is where one is certain they want to be known as. As for the mis spelling and using names as statements; these are two different and distinct instances.

    I agree with Bill Cosby’s advise to parents, !00%. That is to think about the world you are living in and raising your offspring in…..
    And also to do the best that you can to nurture that or those individuals so that they are shining examples and reflections of the good things you’ve put into that life you are in charge of.

    Posted by carie roberson | March 10, 2008, 10:23 pm
  5. Parent should have the right to name their children whatever they chose.

    Posted by U summerville | March 10, 2008, 10:32 pm
  6. it is interesting to hear wonderful sounding original names handed on from generations ago. I would hope the white panel made up of various races would be apprised of this and know the difference between traditional names of actual historical or traceable community origins are acceptable for the benefit of the family as well as the child. After all the ancient words tell us a good name is a very precious thing to have.
    Day Sha’Na and Tashawyna even Tawanna sounds hard since I am named after my paternal grandfather’s mother.

    Her name was Carie Mat. She was born in 1891. I am named after her. I love my full name. I travel to Egypt and saw my grandmothers name in the Cairo Museum.
    The name was also given to Kare Maat, and Egyptian Girl who was mummified and buried with a pet baboon.
    Where do we get these new names from. I hate to go there yet my thoughts jumped to a scene from New Jack City. Unless you can tell the whites or the blacks where the name comes from or what the history of it is then what do you know about what you are being called. You are not covered by the name you have, someone needs to help!! I have seen many angry faces because of these names… and it doesn’t go away.

    Posted by ansar | March 10, 2008, 10:44 pm
  7. We have neglected to discipline our children
    called it building self esteem.

    We abuse power
    called it politics.

    We covet our neighbor’s Possessions
    called it ambition.

    We pollute the air with profanity and Pornography
    called it Freedom of speech and expression.

    We have ridiculed the time Honored values of our Forefathers
    and called it enlightenment.

    Looks like darkness to me from where I stand.
    Learn How to Read then Read a lot!!!! Take the time!

    Posted by CMae | March 10, 2008, 11:03 pm
  8. Ithink someone should, first, verify that Cabrera really did graduate from law school. If he didn’t then obviously get him out right away. If he did graduate from law school, someone needs to request a refund and send him back. This man needs some real work to do.

    Posted by donna whitehead | March 11, 2008, 2:12 am
  9. Okay, I’m happy about some of this, but offended by other parts of this…

    First, I’m offended because what right does this “man” have to say that black women should not have independent naming rights. Any woman that goes through the pain & agony of bearing a child, has a God given right to name that child WITHOUT the help of an outsider. If you did not participate in that child’s conception, you need to mind your own business.

    Secondly, I am happy that someone had the nerve to say something about this. Even though he’s narrow-minded & sounds like a racist. These “so called” mothers need to start thinking further than those couple of minutes of pleasure they experienced while conceiving that child. Just because you were drinking Tanquray at the time you were getting busy, does not mean that’s a good name for your baby!! You need to act like the adult you obviously are trying to be, since you took it upon yourself to lay down & try to reproduce. It’s not about “you” anymore. It’s about that label you placed on that child that will “follow” him/her throughout their lives. Think about the name that you could have been tagged with, had your mother hated your father enough & constantly called him an a$$hole. You could have been known as “a$$hole’s baby”.

    THINK MY PEOPLE… THINK!!!

    Rai

    Posted by Rai | March 11, 2008, 10:18 am
    • What right does he have to decide what women name their children? What about the fathers rights? Or is there a father present? Take a look where lax society has brought us to. By naming you child some weird ass name that no one can pronounce you continue stereotypes placed on people. Unfair or not people judge people and when it come down to getting a job most people with these names are going to be wearing a name tag with that name and making less than 10 bucks a hour or worse minimum wage. Wondering why society doesn’t cut them a break because the parent who named them is thinking about the future or worse themselves.

      Posted by Jason | October 27, 2010, 4:31 pm
  10. I agree with Rai’s comment. Even though he sounds like an educated chauvinistic racist, he’s right in some aspects. I FIRMLY believe upon naming your child you should picture his or her name on a resume…put yourself in a hiring manager’s position and based on name alone, would you hire this person? It the name THAT ghetto fabulous that you would put it in “file 13″? There you have it!

    Posted by Shea | March 11, 2008, 11:58 am
  11. Although I do agree that some parents name their kids with unusual names, and the group of people best known for this practice is blacks, this ruling is still totally out of line. I’m surprised it hasn’t been changed already. What makes someone fit to approve what someone names their child, who they carried for 9 months and has to raise for the next 18 years? Are they going to be there to help our black single mothers or even black couples who have to raise the children? No, so they have no say in anything that goes on with the child. Also, blacks aren’t the only ones to practice this, Caucasians do it as well: Fred Zappa named his children “Moon Unit Zappa” and “Tiger Lily Heavenly Hirani Zappa”, Gwyneth Paltrow-“Apple Paltrow”, Shannyn Sossaman-“Audio Science Sossaman”, or Jason Lee-“Pilot Inspektor Lee”. Those names are all from Caucasian parents and they are unusual and could be considered crazy, but no one is making them seek name approval. Also, what makes names like Billy, Theodore, Sarah, Suzanne, Hannah, and Amy acceptable and appropriate names? Because they are common or because they are predominantly given to white kids? Not only is this ruling absurd, it is also undertone racist. The fact that this judge singled out impoverished black mothers speaks of his possible ill feelings towards race relations. The article even says the African American practice of naming our children with unusual names started in the 60’s as a way to reconnect with our African roots. What’s wrong with that? If this ruling is upheld than I can see a pattern forming. It started with the unjust ruling in the Jena 6 case and is continuing here, because like they say “If you don’t learn your history, you’re bound to repeat it.” It makes you wonder if that really could be happening, with the low interest my generation has in their history. With the already increasing racial tensions after Hurricane Katrina and Jena 6, this was the last thing that needed to happen. In 2008, when a black man with an uncommon name such as “Barack Obama” is running for president, and is a probable candidate, who would have thought something as small minded and undertone racist as this would actually be accepted, approved, and forced upon the minority. If Obama takes office Caucasians that still think in this way might be in for a shock for the next 4 years. Finally, whoever wrote this article was very radical with their reporting. Anyone in the Media industry knows that when you report news you don’t show your own opinion or write cheap shots like the last line. You just report the facts. That statement is so unstable because just as many fathers there are out there that abandon their kids, its just as many or more that take care of their responsibilities. This is just the way that the black race is represented in the media. We aren’t the only ones though. White girls are single parents, have more than one baby father and have kids at young ages. Its just us that they highlight. But that’s about all for my rant. Hopefully this gets revisited and repealed as soon as possible before it becomes a wide spread issue, but that would probably be best though, so that it doesn’t get swept up under the carpet. Anyway, that’s my opinion…

    Posted by R. Jackson Jr. | March 11, 2008, 1:57 pm
  12. why are we letting slavery slip back in so openly. Black people “WAKE UP” How can you tell me you dont like the name i choose for my child. I dont like Snotgrass or Sammy Sammie Joe ,Hildda But thats your given right . Judge get a life and worry about crime

    Posted by Brenda McCampbell | March 11, 2008, 5:58 pm
  13. I agree with Donna Whitehead, if this is a true story…AND if the judge took time to do this… He does need something to do…along with anyone who had a part in this. As much as we may think some of these names are a crime…Maybe these same people think Mary and Jake are worthy of the same restrictions.

    Posted by AJaye | March 11, 2008, 9:16 pm
  14. There are some things that we as black women not chose, but how we name our kids is
    no ones business but our. I changed my name over 30 years ago, simply because I did not want to continue to carry a name past down from a slave master I did not know. Tracing our ancestors is something we can do now, but back then it was different. We wanted our kids to be different. But we need to also, correct people when our name is mis-pronouced. Beside Just how many of these black names have been taken from our children by white people. My name means Goddess, last name of all the people. Last name not given. When whites were naming us back in slavery, right off the boat, they general named us after the 1st thing they saw, or don’t you remember? If a child wants to change there name after reaching legal age they can do so, but they don’t need a Judge tell a Mother what to name her child.

    Posted by Ahari | March 12, 2008, 9:32 am
  15. Honestly my initial response was “HE WOULD BE CORRECT” the names have become stupid! With that said it will never come to pass that anyone but the mother/father will have the right to name their child. If this was a real article you would be looking at serious trouble. A great way to get your point across and get people talking and thinking

    Posted by Regina (black-hispanic) | March 12, 2008, 11:26 am
  16. I am a black woman and no one red, white or purple will tell me what to name my children. This is simply trying to take this country back to slavery. White people will not dictate my life. I am strongly offended by the fact that this person made such a broad statement that basically, black men don’t provide for their children, rather their families. I know factually that ever person with male genitals do not take the responsiblilty for their families. This judge need to be severely punished for this statement. But I do agree that some of the names children are given are past understanding. This is really sad that people in these positions can run off at the mouth like this and think they can get away with it. Look at Elliot Spitzer, I guess he’s exempt from his wrong doing because he’s not black. Everyone need to accountable but you can’t say what Black Men don’t do. It takes a real man to step up to the plate and there is a long line of men doing the right thing and there’s a lot of Black Men at the front of that line.

    Posted by Shirley Wallace | March 12, 2008, 11:38 am
    • ” I know factually that ever person with male denitals do not take the responsiblity for their families. ”

      first of all,,,,,, get your head out of your racist biggoted ass. this is the most biggot ridden statement i have come across. not all persons with male genitals are that irresponsible. some of us are actually better than alot of the persons that dont have male genitalia. i my self have taken responsibility where the mother just refuse too. i have taken custody in the wellfare of my kids and know personally of thousands of men who have done the same. so…. dont be making a blanket statement like that “…all with male genitals do not take responsibility….. “, it is highly offensive demeaning and just plain wrong to group us all together like that. i do agree that there are some that are like that. not all of us are. all the sacrifice, the time, effort, all the good we have accomplished in raising our familys by our self,,, have no meaning with such statements as yours. so be aware, there are thousands upon thousands of fathers who are good men raising there familys, some better than the woman. get your facts straight before making a biggot statement as yours………….

      Posted by uh huh | September 3, 2009, 5:57 pm
  17. It’s true some of the names we give our children are uncalled for; this goes directly back to our history and the lack there of along with being miseducated about ones self , stolen idenity about our history. If we were left alone to continue our cultural naming ceremonies and our way of life surely we would not need some JUDGE to take a stand on what’s good for our improvished black women and definatley not a white women to decide what the hell we should name our children; This is a monster you whites have created for the black improvished women so deal with it and shut-up!!!
    What we as black people need is to keep white folks out of the business and don’t give them a chance to be all up in our life on any level, they can not be trusted in any thing they say or do, what they need to worry about are there children going into schools and shooting!!! everybody in the building and leave our children along.
    Message to the wise if you are going to give your child a name please let it have some meaning to it that migth refer back to the earth or love maybe even lessons learned in life. Peace to my family!!!

    Posted by Chris | March 12, 2008, 7:42 pm
    • I am over 60 and what I know over the years is that every thing black people do, they critisize them. The missionaries went to Africa and they try to stop our forefathers from marking their skin, piercing their ears, wearing their jewelry. Today they are making millions with what they call tatoo, piercing everywhere and running race with black people with jewelry and bright colours. What is gonna happen is that they will stop us from naming our chrildren and they will turn around and introduce our names to their kids. Where I live they taking over all the black men and naming their kids african names. I never heard anything so ridiculous that a white panel have to name a black child. The judge should stop white women from braiding their hair and putting beads in it – they look ridiculous. Did you know that the Vietnamese when they came to North America as refugees the whites changed their names. Their is a group of Orientals that never changed their names and their names are very long, but nobody can tell them what to do.

      Posted by Jean Joseph | July 10, 2011, 10:02 pm
  18. THIS IS A JOKE RIGHT!!!! I agree that we have to be more mindful of what we name our children, but come on he can’t really do this!!!!!

    Posted by lynn | March 13, 2008, 8:01 am
  19. I am a mother of four children and my children names are names that I chose without the help from anybody else; like most mothers. I can’t even start to understand why someone could even entertain the idea of someone! anybody! and especially a white person having a say in the naming of someone else’s child, it’s just WRONG!. Oh these names just came to mind: Devil, Stupid, Dummer and Dummer.

    Posted by Ms. Gayle D. Foster-Gayle | March 13, 2008, 8:17 am
  20. OK … as a Black woman, I can understand and agree w/the outrage displayed by many of the commenters here as far as the Judge’s ‘solution’ is concerned. However, the ignorance must be stopped, and it doesn’t look like we’re doing it on OUR own. If it takes a Federal entity 2 even MENTION it, obviously, there’s a problem. Face it–naming one’s child CLITORIA is ignorant. Period. Was the child’s father particularly adept at tickling mama’s clit during sex? Is that why she added the ‘oria’ after it so she’d be 4ever reminded of his skills? What’s the child gonna do when she’s in Biology class in middle/high school? Like Rai said, ‘THINK, PEOPLE!!!’

    Back in the ’60s, when we were PROUD Black people, yes, there was an onrush of Black Pride, and we took on Swahili names 2 resurrect that sense of self. I applaud that. Names handed down from family are also to be cherished and remembered; that’s another sign of self-pride–I have no issues w/that. I was named for my aunt, my father’s sister. Lovely! Excellent! Keep it up! However, through the years and the downfall of the Black community, we lost ourselves and started getting ridiculous w/the names, and countless children will be scarred for life carrying them.

    Who’s gonna hire Q’Antity when she’s ready 2 enter the workforce? How about Uhlleejsha? WTH? How do u even PRONOUNCE that mess? Will they follow their mother’s footsteps and end up on public assistance w/another seven kids of their own, and carry on their ghetto-naming convention legacy?

    I repeat, THINK, PEOPLE! OK, I’m done. Y’all have a 1derful day!

    Posted by Dana | March 13, 2008, 10:48 am
    • Uhlleejsha – nothing is wrong with this name. There are people from certain parts of the world with very, very long names. Some of them mean worst than clitoria, but we english speaking people does not know that. They go to school with their names, study very hard and get the best paying jobs and don’t care who cannot pronounce their name.

      Posted by Jean Joseph | July 10, 2011, 10:09 pm
  21. this isn’t an authentic article. please cite your source.

    Posted by nikka please | March 13, 2008, 11:15 am
  22. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS WORLD COMING TO? You can’t name your child whatever you want? I am sick of the WHITE DEVIL trying to tell us Black folk want to do. AND, then the Judge rules out Black Men because he feels that Black men are not involved in their childrens lives???? And the rule applies to BLACK WOMEN but the judge singles out IMPRVERISHED MOTHERS. I’m SPEACHLESS!!! I have to get up from my desk and go scream!!!

    Posted by Tina | March 13, 2008, 11:38 am
  23. This is crazy, No one should have the right to name anyone else’s child whether they are Black, White or Blue. I do agree that alot of the names are just riduculous that our young black mothers want to bestow on their buddles of joy but it is their right as mothers to name as they please. When Africans were brought into American they were forced to take on the names of the White Slave Masters who purchased them and give up their heritage. I feel that some people give their children essentric names these days to get as far away from the “slave” names that their ancestors had to take. I will implore people to stay away from the names of alcoholic drinks, cars or personal body parts. Let your childs name mean something to them regardless of how difficult others may find it to pronounce.

    Posted by Ms Sandy | March 13, 2008, 12:22 pm
  24. They are talking about what black people name their kids, what about celebrities…Come on you can not tell no one what to name there child, that is their child not yours. I mean look up the 10 worst names of 2007…A couple named their kid E- and superman and they are not black. Yes these are real names…

    Posted by Government was everything | March 13, 2008, 12:53 pm
  25. I think it is sad that we produce names that have no sense of pride, no meanings jsut to be different. It is even worst that someone of another race can decide for us when we are being ridiculous and yet we are offended when certain groups of Black people chose to name their children names of African decent. The general statement that most black men are not involved with their children is more offensive. With the world in such terrible shape, aren’t there more important things that we can focus on.

    Posted by Abaynesta | March 13, 2008, 12:55 pm
  26. I agree that this definetly is a direct attempt to take us back to slavery. Yet I also agree that young black mothers do seem to just be naming their children anything. I have three children and when I named them all I made sure that their nationality could not be determined when read on a resume but I also made sure that the names had strong meaning. And someone please explain to me what makes white people great judges of what we should name our children. I will okay that when we can assist in naming white children as well.

    Posted by Monique | March 13, 2008, 1:33 pm
  27. I hope the same judge and all others critical of names will advocated for sytematic changes in education, and mental health to educate these parents!

    Posted by KYM | March 13, 2008, 2:14 pm
  28. I too have a unique name and so do my daughters, Alieje`(Ah Lee Jhae) and Jhynne`(Jha Nay) Being unique is one thing but some of these names out here are just ridiculous!!! Do these women even think about the child’s future when they give these names! My and my kids names are DIFFERENT not IGNORANT!

    And as for the judge’s ruling I agree with that but the only thing I don’t agree with, maybe I misunderstood something. Why do three WHITE people have to agree on the name?! There enough intelligent BLACK people that can name a child sensibly! Let the white people name THEIR kids!!

    Message to the black mothers and mothers to be….STOP GIVING THESE KIDS THESE IGNORANT NAMES! THINK ABOUT THEIR FUTURE!

    Posted by Galeice (Guh Leese) | March 13, 2008, 2:38 pm
  29. I am just messed up in the mind. People will find anything to fight for a so called cause.

    When he made that statement about names and not being able to pronouce them the judge think of all of the other people who are here from all over the world.

    I work with them every day and I cant pronounce their names and barely understand what they are saying over the phone.

    And yes, the names are getting out of hand. I have a different name and I was talked about when I was younger “Are you on a DIET?), “Look she is so skinny she is on a DIET” and it did not make it any better when the teacher pronounced my name every day wrong and I would have to hear the students laugh at me. But my mother came up there and took care of the teacher and pronouncing my name.

    Now back to the names. If we are going to start having white women (3) deciding on what black childrens names are (I hope they dont use Susie, Jane, Susan, Bob (better known as Dick) how that came about I dont know. My name is Bob or Robert but you can call me Dick. You know where I am coming from.

    Then the people that are over here from other countries should learn to speak the english languange as a first language and their language becomes the second. They should also know how to speak complete english before they become a US Citezen. And I dont mean that little stuff that they teach. These people actually need to learn how to communicate and it should be part of their becoming a US Citizen that they get a name change.

    Posted by Huggzzzz | March 13, 2008, 3:00 pm
  30. Think about all of the people who come here from all over the world. They have names that we cannot pronounce and they are unable to communicate in english.

    I wonder if there was a panel of black people sitting in a booth, giving out new names to them they would not appreciate it.

    It should be a law, all people who are not a us citizen once you have completed all of the subjects, the last step is them getting a new name. Then when they walk across the stage they are given there citizenship using their new name.

    I am not a racist and see no color but this makes me go back and think about how the white man gave the black africans new names. This is part of history already nothing new. White people have been trying to change our names all of our lives especially during slavery when they were bringing africans over to the united states.

    Ummmmmmmmm makes you want to think

    Posted by Huggzzzz | March 13, 2008, 3:11 pm
  31. I am appalled that anyone can take away a Black parent’s right to name their own child.
    The fact that 3 Caucasian people must agree with the name that a Black mother chooses is just mind blowing. Why do our names have to be acceptable to White America
    Wake Up Black America. After the names, what comes next.
    This law must not be allowed to be put on the books
    Who does this judge think he is. Slavery in supposed to no longer be in practice.

    Posted by Jackie S | March 13, 2008, 3:20 pm
  32. All I have to say is this is racist and this judge can eat @#&*. Slavery isn’t coming back. The judge Carabara or what ever her name is isn’t God. She need to retire and sit her country ass down somewhere and realize People will name their children whatever they want…If it’s a crazy ghetto name…Its none of her business. Yeah the names are outragious but who cares…worry about your own kids. Get laid or something…Find something else to do and keep your racist comments at your dinner table with your family (people who care). Furthermore to the publisher you suck as well…thanks…..From a black girl with a loving black husband who happens to be the father of my child.

    Posted by Rebecca | March 13, 2008, 3:24 pm
  33. Although I don’t agree with the decision of having the government big-brothering “the name game’ some parents should exercise some sense of control in naming their children. Just because you have a favorite alcoholic beverage doesn’t mean you have to name your child after that drink……..what happens when you wake up with a bad hangover for over consuming that drink and you swear never to drink that drink again…..but now you have your child’s name as a constant reminder of your drunkeness. From my own personal observation blacks have a higher percentage of naming their children Kquita and D’Quan.

    I worked in Human Resources for many years and I have reviewed many applications of applicants with the same education and work experience but the applicant’s name
    clearly set them apart. Although the applicants resume’s were almost identical when the selecting official received their application, nine times out of ten Becky the white applicant received the call for an interview before Kquita the black applicant.

    Although some of these names may have significant meaning to the child’s parent, the parent must realize we are still living in a very racist society and their child’s name may be the socio-economie noose the PARENT has put around it’s neck

    Posted by Celeste | March 13, 2008, 3:35 pm
  34. The People’s News is a satire site. It publishes humor pieces, not news stories. I have verified that this is not true in any facet!

    Posted by Jacqueline | March 13, 2008, 4:11 pm
  35. Did you read in there “Beginning in one week, at least THREEwhite people must agree with the name before a black mother can name her child.” What does a WHITE person got to do with naming our black children? We’ve got classy, intelligent black people that can help with the black mothers on the names of their children. Why WHITE ! ! Now on the names….. I agree 100% … they have gotten carried away with naming our black children. But white folks don’t have NO SAY SO in determining what to name them. WE as intelligent black people must help these ignorant young black women and get them to understand the importance of naming their children names that people (black AND white) can only laugh and ridicule and stereotype the child by their name and judge them AND their impoverished mother’s as being ignorant, poor and stupid! If you are saying that it is the blacks, the more intelligent BLACK people should step up to the plate … not the WHITE. If they know that the problem is within the black women then why do the whites feel superior to be the one to determine their names? NOW they want to NAME us?? Next thing you know they’ll be trying to SELL us again ! ! They have an ulterior motive for this. Some of these white girls married to our black men are naming their babies off the wall names too, just to fit in. I agree, they need to put a halt to these names, but not this way ! !

    Posted by Debbie | March 13, 2008, 4:11 pm
  36. ummmm…why r there so many serious responses to this?? IT’S A JOKE PEOPLE! Read the disclaimer under the last sentence of the article!

    Posted by Joseph | March 13, 2008, 4:20 pm
  37. Ok folks…it’s okay to name your children what you want but you have to think about their lives as they get older. Some names are just stupid. Giving your child a name that you spell horribly and then get mad when someone pronounces it wrong is just plain idiotic. African names are wonderful and different. A name you made up because YOU think it’s cute is not always cute. And Clitoris is not a “cute” name for anyone.

    Posted by Jeannine | March 13, 2008, 4:49 pm
  38. So it’s okay for white people to name their child apple, hopper, kyd, suri and rocket? Do you want me to continue? I love my name and I get a lot of compliments from all races. For a Judge to tell me that I can’t name my child because I’m a poor black mother, that’s ridiculous!!! So what about the rich white people who are naming their child(ren) crazy names like Moon Unit, Moxie CrimeFighter, etc., are you going to stop them from naming their child(ren) too? If you want to do it for one race, you have to do it for all.

    Posted by KINICA | March 13, 2008, 5:18 pm
  39. If you think this is real, you need some help. There would be the biggest lawsuit in history if a United States Judge said whats in this article. Come on people.

    Posted by Tone | March 13, 2008, 5:34 pm
  40. I am very disturbed by this article. Although I do agree that there are some very ridiculous names out there, this ruling is targeting one specific group of people. So what happens when someone of another race names their child a crazy name? Nothing? I think this is absolutely crazy! I have two children which have very normal names and I guess can be considered “white names”. Lucky me that I don’t have to sit before a group of white women on my childs name. I just want to say again that while I do agree that there are names given to children that make no sense and are absolutely ridiculous, this ruling does not sit well and should apply across the board and have a diverse group of individuals providing their opinoin on the names. What is this about targeting black mothers and having a group of all white women tell them how to name their children? I am sure if a little more thought was put into this a better solution would come about.

    Posted by Essence of Ivy | March 13, 2008, 5:35 pm
  41. It funny that all these folks have responded to this article. Some even openly hostile, outraged, and down right insulted that someone … anyone … would even suggest that black women need to be supervised in the process of naming their own children.
    Obviously this is not a real article, because UNFORTUNATELY it would trample all over a multitude of human rights… but I wish it were. I am one educated black woman who wishes that SOMEONE could put a stop to the STUPIDITY that is rampant in our communities. It is not cute, unique, memorable or distinctive in any way to name your child after a human sex organ. And any jackass that thinks it is, is just that and should be treated accordingly. I wish there really was a way to enact such a law for those that need it without hurting human rights for all.
    For all of you that expressed outrage at the mere notion that a judge could or would try to pass such a law, please, please, please turn your outrage on those that are far more deserving. Please ask yourselves if it more disturbing that “the man” would suggest such a ludicrous remedy… or that even we ourselves, cannot deny it’s necessity in far to many instances.
    Let me borrow a line from a previous post …. Think my people …… THINK !!!!

    Posted by Jai | March 13, 2008, 5:38 pm
  42. Check out this link. I can’t imagine what kind of brain fart causes a person to name their child Clitoria, but do we really want the federal government stepping in to tell us what we can name our babies? How many rights do they get to take? And it’s just poor, black people that they’re messing with because they can’t afford quality legal representation to secure their rights. No legal authorities were called in to stop Forest Whitaker from naming his child Ocean (or Forest’s mom from naming him Forest), or Gweneth Paltrow from naming her baby Apple, or Ginger Spice from naming her daughter Bluebell, or Courtney Cox from naming her baby CoCo, or Demi & Bruce from naming their daughter Tallulah & their sons Scout & Rumer, or Frank Zappa from naming their kids Moon Unit & Diva Muffin, or the Geldof’s from naming their kids Fifi Trixibelle & Little Pixie. Hell, we could be naming the kids Running Horse and Dancing Bear like Native American parents do. Don’t poor black people still have rights in this tight-assed country? I’m starting to feel less and less free.

    Posted by Nea | March 13, 2008, 5:57 pm
  43. I agree with the judge’s ruling though I do find parts of this commentary offensive as a black woman. As an educator, I feel it ridiculous that parents consistently name children names that they cannot pronounce and that lack rhyme or reason in the English dictionary. There is mispellings of the names and further issues with grammar and pronunciation. I disagree with having 3 white people to okay the name. . It would just the same to have a somewhat educated person to ask the mother to spell it, read it and write it. If it makes sense to at least a few people in the hospital and appears grammatically sound then it should be accepted. I do think however that this situation of naming unreasonable names has gotton out of control and should be stopped Way to go judge… Just watch taking it so personal.

    Posted by Nicole Morris | March 13, 2008, 6:06 pm
  44. First off let me start by saying the baby name is awful and I do understand the Judges
    frustration but to say that someone else is going to decide a name for amy baby I carried for nine months is totally out of line.
    I do think parents should really think about the names they give their children black,white,or any other color for that matter. First off we know it’s a known fact that
    baby names like Shamika,Uniqua,and all those other names that fall in the catagory is considered ghetto. I think Parents forget that one day this baby will be an adult that he or she has to go out and get a job.Employers do look at your name as well as other aspects of your application, so I think people should be more aware of what they put on that childs birth certificate not only that but no one wants to be embarrassed or teased about their name. I still say that Judge has no right and I would fight that tooth and nail because he has a right to his opinion but he does not have the right to take my rights away offering suggestions is fine but naming my child for me I don’t think so.

    Posted by Jocelyn | March 13, 2008, 6:23 pm
  45. THIS IS A DAMN SATIRE PEOPLE stop acting crazy over it .Its not even funny ,It is offensive but we should know satire when we see it.
    About 30% of what we now consider traditional names are made up by people in the last 200 years.

    Posted by SATIRE JONES | March 13, 2008, 7:10 pm
  46. As an educator I agree with the Judges ruling. It is so embarassing for children when they can’t pronounce or spell their names. It is just utterly ridiculous to name children those crazy and absurd names. Unfortunately, for the most part, the Mom’s who are more prone to name their children Roloex Jones will not read this article or comments.

    Peace and Sanity

    Posted by Denise | March 13, 2008, 8:27 pm
  47. I agree that some of these naming practices border on the rididulous, but what right has anyone to tell a mother what she can name her child. As outrageous as some of the modern names chosen by black moms may be, it is offensive to mandate that their choices must be approved by “three whites”. I am really having a hard time believing this is actually true.

    Posted by Harriet Wade | March 13, 2008, 9:39 pm
  48. Is this for real????

    Posted by Vickie T | March 13, 2008, 11:13 pm
  49. I do not think the law should have the right chose our children names. But when it comes to (DUMB) parents then I guess this comes into play. Where are the grandparents and if they are just as young and dump, where are the great grandparent?
    It seems like Great Grandparents (50) Grandparent (45) Grandchild (30) Great Grandchild (15) Great Great Grandchild (1-5).
    These generations are becoming too young to be grandparents. Who is teaching the right things??? How do you have a name with one vowel. The example above about
    “Q’Q’Y????? Oh my.
    I wish the best for the future.

    Posted by Pam S | March 13, 2008, 11:13 pm
  50. LOL! Ya’ll must be crazy or not reading well. THIS IS A JOKE! CLEARLY SATIRE.

    Posted by Hypnotice7 | March 13, 2008, 11:37 pm
  51. I agree with the ruling, nevertheless it’s not only the black american females, this would include all firts time mothers regardless of race as well. Moreover , should the government have the right to choose our children’s names absolutely not. Indeed, there is no place for ridiculous names. We must educate our young mother’s of all ethnic groups when comes to naming their children.(stupid names)

    Posted by Jayvee | March 14, 2008, 7:45 am
  52. If this was true, it would be insane.

    Posted by CC | March 14, 2008, 8:21 am
  53. This is not slavory time. Let’s not let things revert backward. Freedom is just what it is, freedom. The right to make a decision (What ever…….. it may be).

    Posted by Carol | March 14, 2008, 9:31 am
  54. folks calm down!! It is only satire!!! But man is this stuff funny as hell!!!

    Posted by Joe Jones | March 14, 2008, 9:41 am
  55. OH MY GOD!! I AM an African-American Woman and I wish this WAS real!! I am SO TIRED of these women: 1) Making babies like wild rabbits in constant heat; 2)INSISTING that a name is “unique” if there’s a “Q,” “Z,” “eesha,” “eeka” or “phon” in it; 3) insisting that a female is “not a woman” unless she has a whole bunch of babies by some non-working, no-good wannabe “gangsta;” and 4) thinking that a NAME makes you “unique!” YOU are what makes you unique, NOT YOUR NAME. I know for a fact that at least 50% of these women CAN’T EVEN READ, much less SPELL! And the poor child named after INCAN HEIROGLYPHICS??? Her mother MIGHT want to master ENGLISH before attempting INCAN!! COME ON, BLACK WOMEN!! Don’t you realize that we are the “queens” of the crop?! With ancestors like Nefertiti and Mary McLeod Bethune other proud black women, we need to hold our heads up HIGH and have DIGNITY; if you MUST name a child an African name, please make sure it’s at least a REAL African name, and not some crap you MADE UP! And what is wrong with a good, basic name like “Mary” or “Elizabeth,” or some such? As stated before, YOU make you unique, not your name! The only “unique” thing about those nonsense names is that they make you and your child look UNIQUELY STUPID!

    Posted by R Quinn | March 14, 2008, 10:31 am
  56. THIS IS NOT TRUE!!! After reading this article I was appalled to see such ignorance coming from such an “esteem” person–a federal judge. So, I took the liberty to go to: http://www.fjc.gov/history/home.nsf and THERE IS NO JUDGE BY THIS NAME- U.S. Federal Judge Ryan Cabrera. Please feel free to look it up and you will also find that this is the OFFICIAL federal-judge database and that it dates back to 1789 and it was just updated TODAY.

    I also took the liberty to go to explore this website further, and at the bottom of the article, it is marked as “Humor” and in the “About” section of the Peoples News’ website, it is listed as a humorous editorial.

    I think this article is ignorant, and it truly shows how low someone will stoop just to get a “laugh.”

    Finally, the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution would protect individuals from a “real” ruling such as this garbage.

    To this end, please pass the word that this article is baseless and honestly it is a mockery of the Black race, which should not be taken lightly.

    Respectfully,

    Stefani R. Williams, Esq.

    Posted by Stefani | March 14, 2008, 10:48 am
  57. very well said!

    Posted by cmae | March 14, 2008, 11:15 am
  58. Do people really believe this is a article? I’m actually amused that people are actually commenting on it. Do you really believe that 3 white people have to agree on a name a black woman decides to give her child? Come on!

    Posted by KDW | March 14, 2008, 11:18 am
  59. well if this is true, i feel a judge should not make that decision, instead, maybe we as black people should scholl our daughters and sons on naming theiir children names that can be pronounce as well as spelled correctly. i agree that i have had candiates come into my office for jobs with names i look at and wonder now how do i say this as well as spell it. and when i give their names to hospitals they as well go thru a thing as to how do you say this name. so there has to be a time when we as a people say enough with the names, i find at times it does appear to be young, undwed mothers who go with these unusal names but lets try and help them to make right choices when naming their off springs. And yes we should take pride in what we name our child and have dignity in it, but lets also be able to spell it, say it, and not have it appears as if we can read, write or spell. Education, is a terrible thing to lose, and a name should not be whats makes you special, you make you speaciial, and what you do in life makes you unique.

    Posted by Elaine | March 14, 2008, 11:56 am
  60. Come on, folks. This article is obvious satiical. It is fake, but touches on something real. Black females do go too far with these ridiculous names. I do beieve that as a parent, it is your prerogative to name your child what you wish, but enough is enough. We live in a world where, unfortunatley, we are judged by many things- one being our names. How many times have we heard about employers using the “name test” to determine the race of potential employees? Believe me, Sha’Quanda or Fendi Mercedes is a dead give away.

    Posted by Mai | March 14, 2008, 12:07 pm
  61. do any of you read??!!!! this isn’t real. it was done in humor, although i agree with it.

    Posted by n | March 14, 2008, 12:35 pm
  62. I do not think it’s right for a judge to tell black people what to name their children. This is a way of expressing afro american culture. We do not criticize Indian names that we cannot pronouce (AT ALL). It is part of their culture so why can’t ghetto made up names be embraced as

    Posted by ATL | March 14, 2008, 12:52 pm
  63. This is ignorant, racist, and crazy. How can he tell someone what to name their child. Granted their are some very unusual names out there, however what about people who have names that are not of English decent. What about people who come from other countries and places whose names are difficult to pronounce. I had a roommate in college from India whose last name had 20 something letters in it. I don’t like that this prejudice is focused on Black American women when you have people of all races that name their child some very unusual hard to pronounce names. Just look at some of the famous entertainers. One woman and she just happens to be white named her child Apple, now that does not make sense to me. Is the child human or a piece of fruit? And what makes his arrogant tail think that just because a name sounds more like a white persons then it must be right. Granted parents should take care to how they name their children but they birth and raise them so they have the right to do as they please as long as they have not been declared insane. In the time I’ve been here on earth, I’ve met people named after seasons and elements. I even met a young white woman in college whose name was Sunshine, which seems very odd to me but she was a wonderful person to meet. Her attitude was very positive and sunny and I guarantee you today I remember her because her name was very unique. As long as the American population keeps growing with new citizens coming from other countries and other places, I guarantee there will be more unusual names that are less white sounding.

    Posted by RG | March 14, 2008, 12:55 pm
  64. THIS IS NOT TRUE, PEOPLE!!!

    RYAN CABRERA IS A TEENY BOPPER SINGER FROM TEXAS!!

    You people are so gullible.

    Posted by SMD | March 14, 2008, 1:05 pm
  65. i can’t believe people are taking this seriously…lmao

    Posted by jennifer | March 14, 2008, 1:16 pm
  66. EVEN IF THIS IS A JOKE, I AGREE TOTALLY! AND BLACK WOMEN WONDER WHY WE ARE TREATED THE WAY WE ARE. IT ALL STARTS FROM HOME.

    I WOULD NEVER TAKE A PERSON SERIOUS NAMED …….QUA OR ………ANDA

    …….TA

    Posted by IAGREE1 | March 14, 2008, 1:45 pm
  67. Does U.S. Federal Judge Ryan Cabrera have a law degree? He is amazingly frightening. While the names are outragious, mothers have a right to name their children anything they want (God help us). I am insulted that he feels white people can better handle the naming or Black folks children! The man is stuck slavery. Masters often changed the names of their slaves to blout out their memory of their homeland. My goodness some of us are stuck in the 18th century. He needs help!

    Posted by Minnie E Miller | March 14, 2008, 1:59 pm
  68. I can not believe that people are actually taking this serious. It is a joke, only a joke. So, smile, giggle and click on! :o)

    Posted by Angel | March 14, 2008, 2:14 pm
  69. That’s such a wonderful thing because people can ruin their childrens lives with names that no one can make sense of I grew up with 4 sisters named: Unique, Miracle, Porsha, and Mercedes. JUST AWFUL!!!

    Posted by Bridgette Stephens | March 14, 2008, 2:17 pm
  70. ROTFLMAO!!!!! This is too funny. Okay people, none of this is true. In fact this Judge doesn’t even exist. What they say is true “He who angers you, controls you.” And it’s amazing how a make believe judge is controling many people. Hint, hint, read the disclaimer people. Oh Hugzzz, Dick is the nickname for Richard not Robert. If this judge did exist, I can assure you that he probably has a son, grandson, nephew, or someone in his family name Joaquin. That’s pronounced Hi-Keen. Cabrera is a Spanish name. The name itself should have had you all thinking. If he were real, he probably wouldn’t know how to pronounce Christopher.

    Yes, there are some influential and famous famous people out there with unique names.
    1. Oprah Winfrey.. If she was to fill out an application for a job would you have hired her. Oprah is an unique name, but somebody did.

    2. Quincy… Would you had hired him by his name. And

    3. Maya Angelou… True her real name is Margarite, but Margarite is also an unique name

    It’s not always what you name your child, it’s who posesses that name that makes the different. I know some caucasion children with unique names that we might think of black women naming their children.

    If pronouncing the name poses a problem, then you call them by their last name (if you can pronounce that), then you say to that person, “I’m sorry, but how do you pronounce your name.”

    For these teachers out here, if you have a child in your class and you can not pronounce their name, instead of embarassing that child or yourself. You just simply say “Whose last name is Jenkins?” If more than 1 Jenkins raises their hands, then you ask each of them their names, and the one whose name stumped you, you go to them and say, “Repeat that, Oh, it’s….? and if the child says yes, then you know you got it right. I’m not a teacher, and for some of the children in my neighborhood who’s always speaking to me, and those with unique names, when they tell me their names, I just say “Wow, your name is really unique. I would never say to them, “Your parents lost their minds, what were they thinking?”

    Just keeping it real.

    Posted by Jo | March 14, 2008, 3:18 pm
  71. Some people are just straight crazy and full of bullshit. Despite this being a humor article, I don’t find it humorous. We have more important issues going on in this crazy ass world. But yet we have people who feel the need to continue to be assholes. If this was real, I could honestly say that there would be straight chaos among black and whites. The fact that someone took the opportunity to write this as a humor article clearly shows that if they could they would make this a reality. Our society really need overcome different as being wrong. Just because someone name is different or is of a different race or religion from your own doesn’t mean they’re wrong. Further more your name doesn’t make you who you are, and for any person in an human resource department to evaluate an applicant based on name only is just stupid and ignorant themselves. I have an “black name”, I received my B.S in Computer Science, and I will be receiving my M.S in Computer Science in May. I have yet to let my name stop me from receiving my rights to a career in Information Technology. Bottom line is this, your name doesn’t define who you are. Personally, I have seen many races of people look so stupid after misjudging someone based on there name. Never judge a book by its cover.

    Posted by Nicole | March 14, 2008, 3:20 pm
  72. greetings…

    i must say, i somewhat agree with the judge… yes, too many people, black and all other colours, give their children foolish names… with black people, yes, especially in the ghetto, these girls do tend to give their kids some names i have to wonder… even in the same article…. 22 years old and 7 children? then look at their names, her own included…

    however, i do not agree that 3 white people have to agree on a name first… my two children have african names because when i look at all the johns, jennifers and davids, all those names have different meanings… why would i give my child a greek name? i am not greek… but to that effect, that doesn’t mean that we have to name our children with the most complicated, unneccessary apostrophes-most-complex-way-to-spell-with-even-more-unneccessary-letters-in-it type of name…

    Posted by empress*ashes | March 14, 2008, 3:45 pm
  73. I do think that SOME black woman go way overboard. If they would stop trying to out do or make up new names…. names that have no meaning it would help. I’m all for naming your children whatever you want, but I think a child’s name guide who they become in this life. I think you should name your child something, not only that you like, but that has meaning to you or a meaning that means something to you. The names black woman (and some white ones too) come up with these days make you wonder what they were thinking. I don’t know how true this story is, but it does bring to light that not only are white people having hard times with the names black woman choose, but the children aren’t happy with their names either (which is how this whole story got started, and what brought the Federal judge in on this subject).

    When 13-year-olds feel uncomfortable enough with their names to SUE or potition for a name change b/c no one can pronounce, you have to wonder who will draw the line. I say that maybe not white woman should CHOOSE the name of the child, but if 3 different white woman/men cannot pronouce it (as the mother would like it said) then maybe the black woman should reconsider the spelling (not the name depending on who vulger it is). Clitoria is a bit of a porn name! (Sorry)

    Posted by Shanette | March 14, 2008, 3:49 pm
  74. People, it’s a joke!!!

    Tell me where else have you seen or heard this and isn’t Ryan Cabrera a singer? lol.

    I would like to know who started this.

    Posted by me me me | March 14, 2008, 3:57 pm
  75. This is hilarious!!! However, some of these names out here are getting just plain silly! Maybe one day we can get some real names…

    Posted by Because I say so | March 14, 2008, 4:15 pm
  76. Real or Not, that’s not going to happen. Can you see three white women telling this young black girl that she can’t name her child a name that she came up with, by combinding her name with her mom’s, sisters’, cousin, and dad’s. Come on now. You know that she is about to go off. I am a head start teacher for one of the housing projects in my city. Needless to say I’ve seen all types of names. Yes, some of our names are just over the top, to say the leas, but the names we give our children shows how creative we are. One might think the name Mjaija is WHOA but Mjaija’s mom name her after her dad M.J. Who is in her life, might I add. I was a mom at the age of 16, me nor my child has a crazy name, you can find our names on the note pads, pens and socks with the names on them at the store. But I’ll still take up for my Black Queens in this situation because it is our right to give our children names that are dear to us and mean something to us.

    Posted by Queen | March 14, 2008, 4:41 pm
  77. Did anybody take the time to research before responding to this ridiculous posting?! A database for Judges of the U.S, which is updated daily http://www.fjc.gov/ , has NO RECORD of there ever being a Judge Ryan Cabrera, let alone such an unlawful ruling! Like the “About” page for The People News says, it is for pure entertainment. Although it is nice to see peoples opinions of racial matters, BE FOR REAL!!

    Posted by WASPissedOff256 | March 14, 2008, 4:43 pm
  78. This is a mess. Why would black, improvished mothers be singled out, only! I know of several poor white mothers who have named their children unique and even foolish names without this kind of backlash. There is also something that is called communal responsibility. There are elders in the Black community that use to come along side new mothers to assist them with the task of naming and taking care of their children. What happened to this practice? I know that my children have to be employed someday. I would hate to have their names be the reason that someone would not be able to recognize the “content of their character”.

    Posted by Mo | March 14, 2008, 5:18 pm
  79. Seriously! This is not true! First! There is no US FEDERAL JUDGE by this name. Second, this is slander! Really, I hope all us black folks don’t truely believe this!?

    Posted by animn | March 14, 2008, 5:19 pm
  80. it may be satire, but there is some truth behind it. We have got to use more common sense….

    Posted by Mo | March 14, 2008, 5:19 pm
  81. This sounds a like the days of slavery when masa named us. Yes the names have gone to far, but three white people approving our chikdrens names.

    Lets have a conversation about this.

    Posted by Kwame Brown | March 14, 2008, 5:29 pm
  82. Yes, I agree some black mothers may need assistance with naming their children but when you talk about infringing on thier rights to name their child I’m definitely against it. We will not stand by and let the courts mandate anything concerning having white women vote on what our children should be named. If you can learn to pronounce and understand most of these foriegn names, you can also learn to adjust to some of the black names. First it starts with naming our kids, then next you will want to come in the household and tell them which breast to suck on just because it’s society’s way.

    Posted by LALITA WILLIAMS | March 14, 2008, 6:54 pm
  83. I think parents should have the right to name their kids what they like. My name is unusal but I am 32 years old.
    The choice should remain with the parents. The names such as Kate, Jack, Jane, are simple but aren’t aren’t chosen this day and age. Times have changed. So don’t try and take it back.

    Posted by keeshanda | March 14, 2008, 8:14 pm
  84. This is about as idiotic as I’ve ever seen! I agree with the premise but know the reality is this type of thing can’t be stopped. No matter how much we hate it, no one can make a person use a certain name for their child.

    I would be completely outdone if a judge allowed a lawsuit like the one mentioned!

    Posted by booda | March 14, 2008, 8:29 pm
  85. All you people are mentally retarded. This article isn’t even real. If you couldn’t figure that out after you finished reading this article, then you’re retarded.

    Posted by Re'tardo Pee'pole | March 14, 2008, 11:46 pm
  86. There is no way in the world that I would allow a white person to tell me what I can name my child. That ruling if true is a law suite waiting to happen. My girls are Kynthea, Lyndell and Marquita. I love their name and they love them also. I know a white girl who named her daughter stormy autmn. I know another white girl named cinnamon rice. Is anyone going to decide what a white woman can name her child. I also know plenty of white men who are not taking care of their responsibilities also. Leave race out of it. People should think but we leave in the land of the free which means we should be free to name our children what we want.

    Posted by Kathy | March 15, 2008, 11:41 am
  87. I believe that any name given to a child should have a meaning and is the soul right of the parents who brought them into this world. This is sacred and if one doesn’t know than teach them the importance and significance of giving their children meaningful names no matter where their cultural background might be from.
    As for the federal judge, he is not God and has no authority to take away African American Women’s right to independently name their children. If he feels they are impoverished and uneducated, then empower them with the proper education and empower them with the know-how to get out of poverty and that impoverished mind set.
    I know a lot of people with meaningful names so this judge is profiling Black Women as a whole and that’s wrong.
    And the nerve of even mentioning that 3 white people have to approve of the name first is INSULTING and BACKWARDS.

    Posted by REHASET | March 15, 2008, 3:04 pm
  88. And by the way, my name is REHASET. If three white people had to agree on that…it might not have ended up being my name.
    Henceforth, I might have been a “Barbara” instead of what my name is now, “The Bringer of Many Blessings.”

    Posted by REHASET | March 15, 2008, 3:06 pm
  89. Ooops I meant Richard and not Robert. But I was so appalled just by the idea that this could possibly happen.

    Even though it is not real and maybe there were some that did not read or do further research. Just the thought of this happening..rubbed people the wrong way.

    Yes the names are awful sometimes and that person who has the name is embarrassed.

    But just think about it. The person who wrote this article just for humor sake…I think really meant it.

    There are people all over the world here in the US. All colors, languages, names, etc. We cant understand them, cant pronounce their names, and there are people who are just as colored as I am but because they are from another country and has straight hair they are not considered in the workplace as Black American.

    Even though this was a joke and was suppose to be funny. Just think about it…was it funny to any of you. Those that agreed with the article…do you remember that your ancestors came from Africa and their names were different and the white man changed their name. We are not back in the slavery days…but when you read this article that is suppose to be a joke…really think about the person who wrote it. Is this person really thinking about names and being able to pronounce them or is this person trying to tell us something (we need to get back to the way things used to be when white people were the master and black people were considered property).

    In my opinion, and I work with people all over the world and have all kinds of names that I am unable to pronounce. They come to America for a reason and they want to be citizens.

    If black people are going to be judged on what name they give their own children….then those who come from other countries…should learn to speak English as a 1st language and there names should be changed as well before they become a citizen (that is if this was a real case scenario).

    The say this article is a joke. People did a lot of research to find out that there was no such judge, etc. But why would you write something like this if you did not believe it.

    I think that the person who wrote this is racists and had a lot of fun reading our responses to this horrible joke.

    This article was not funny to me and was not a joke in any way. I got pissed and tried to read between the lines and remember that we have a lot of people out here who think that this world is a white world and that things should go back to the slavery days.

    They are just using the names we give our children as a way of saying what they really mean.

    Whites = human…….Blacks = chattle that can be sold, have their names changed, and follow instructions. We are not human to the person who wrote this

    Just my thoughts that this is more than just about names. Whoever wrote this hit on a nerve and I bet you if some of our Black female actresses, senators, executives, college educated, professsional women all over the world was to see this article..they would not see it as funny or a joke.

    Read between the lines people…the words joke and humor was a way for who ever wrote this to say what they really meant.

    KKK

    Posted by Huggzzzz | March 15, 2008, 3:25 pm
  90. OMG!!!!! I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time!!!!! This and the comments afterward were hilarious. How could anyone believe it with sidebars entitled “Supreme Court Brings Belts back to African American Communities” I’m still crying. BRAVO!

    Posted by Sheldon P | March 16, 2008, 1:17 am
  91. Okay so it’s allegedly, a joke, but in poor taste I might add. I did not find it in the least bit humorous, but I am a serious, beautiful, black, intelligent, educated, career women. And I feel we have already had enough obstacles to overcome without making fun of ourselves and causing our children to be ridiculed. Why help big-brother eliminate us? You can believe it’s been discussed for decades in an all male, all Caucasian, secret meeting, I would not doubt it if the meeting was held right in the “Oval Office.” The plan is and has always been to keep the people of color under control until they have either killed each other or they are all incarcerated. Then we can dilute those unwanted people of color. Yes, with Bush in office what do you think? He has made some racial slurs, which I was surprised there was nothing said about it. Maybe that is the real problem we are too relaxed and so grateful for the progress that has been made. We are still not there yet black people wake up.

    The issue is a person’s name does not define who they are; it is the individual, and more importantly their character. A black person can be just as successful as a white person. But keep it real “We just have to work harder, and be smarter.” If this article were real it would cause pure pandemonium, in this day and age. But I have to reluctantly, admit that our young mothers and a few that should have more common sense are guilty of naming their children names with no meaning. The spelling is not that big of an issue in my opinion. Now, it maybe an issue for a blue eyed devil who’s ancestors more than likely escaped from the cave of Europe; but not to a human resources personal who wants to employ an individual who is experienced and skilled, and wants to work. And to the author Bill Matthews or should I call you by your nick name, Isn’t it Dick? Dick this is not in the least bit funny, and if you were a real man and your judge was a real judge… “I’d slap the cowboy sheet out of the both of you.” Let’s talk about how the majority of welfare recipients are “WHITE PEOPLE” and I truly do not see color…god knows my family is a rainbow…but the media and people who think we are ignorant and will not check the statistics, and we do not like to read will continue to try to dilute our minds with their B.S. and that is all I have to say… now Dick take your head out of your rear end and write an article that is humorous, because that was not funny DICK!!

    Posted by Appalled Valley Girl!! | March 16, 2008, 1:35 am
  92. Um, you guys know that this isn’t a real story, right? Go to the “About” section above.

    It is still an interesting issue, but I’m pretty sure that there’s no Judge Ryan Cabrera.

    Posted by Perplexed | March 16, 2008, 2:04 am
  93. Tell the judge to have his own children and name them whatever the hell he wants, but do not tell me or other mothers or mothers to be how we should name our children. I don’t see the judge on my job working for me! I don’t see the judge bringing in groceries and putting them on the table.

    The problem with the government is that they are too involved in what’s going on in our households. Yes there is child abuse out there and it needs to stop, but there are actually parents out there who take damn good care of there children and if that child needs his ass whipped then by all means do it. How dare the government tell me how to raise my children. Parents stop listening and start talking. They pitch a _itch when you are in the system, but when you’re not they want to control how your household is run. NO………..NO………NO

    The government is the problem, not the PARENTS

    Posted by Deneise M. Lockridge | March 16, 2008, 3:01 pm
  94. Clitoria Jackson?? This is too funny!!

    I had to explain to the friend who forwarded it to me that it was a joke, though. I can tell from some of the comments that people still don’t get it (or know enough about the constitution to know that it HAD to be a joke).

    Maybe that’s an idea for another story… (like the one about loosing our right to vote)

    Posted by Niecy | March 16, 2008, 7:03 pm
  95. Sorry SHANAYNAY……get a real AFRIKAN name. Stop naming our kids with bullsh!^ a$$ ghetto trash names. Our National origin defines who and what we are: AFRIKAN..Be unique, yes, but be what you are AFRIKAN. Chinese, have chinese names, Irish, Irish names, Italian, etc all have ETHNIC names that come from their mother country…the ghetto is not our mother country..

    Posted by FATHER | March 16, 2008, 10:10 pm
  96. OKAY…everyone just calm down for a second! Are we forgetting that this is the UNITED STATES? This isn’t even a real article!!!! It will be a MIGHTY cold day in hell before a Black woman will need clearance from three white people before naming her child! And while I do agree that some of the names that our brothers and sisters are bestowing upon their children are indeed outrageous – and even a source of ridicule as the child grows older and goes to school – we, like everone else, have the right to name our children anything we choose. We need only to recognize that some of these names will later on be the reason that job and college applications and resumes get passed over,
    – and false impressions are developed about our children. Let’s name our children with care and foresight. It’s absolutely possible for us to celebrate our heritage and our strong history by naming our children in the spirit of pride and determination in terms of carrying forth our ancestors’ legacy. I don’t remember hearing any ridiculous attempts to police the white celebrities who are naming their children “Apple”,
    “Rumor”, “Shilo”,
    “Banjo” or “Dweezil”. Need I say more?
    This article is clearly a joke. This country was built on the strong, bloody Black backs of our forefathers. Many of the inventions that make life easier – and make medical and surgical procedures even POSSIBLE today – were the brainchild of Black inventors. So, that having been said – is there REALLY anyone out there that is so gullible that they’d believe that a judge – ANY judge on any level could blithely toss aside the Constitution and glibly proclaim that we have to check with white folks before we name our children??? And while many of our Black fathers aren’t as active in our children’s lives as they should be – at the same time, many MANY white fathers AND Valium-addicted white mothers are allowing their children to be raised by their Pilates instructors and Au Pairs (and let’s not forget the non english-speaking housekeepers they employ illegaly and cheaply). A WHOLE LOT of white children have a closer relationship with the car dealer where they get their new cars each year as “guilt gifts”…than they do with their own parents. And by the way – what the hell is so great about the names Jake, Connor and Justin anyway??? Enough of this ludicrous nonsense. Let’s all just keep our heads up, our minds focused, our legacy proudly upheld…and our destinies our own.
    Peace and Blessings in Abundance, Brothers and Sisters.

    Posted by Patricia Marshall | March 16, 2008, 10:11 pm
  97. Ya’ll are the most stupidiest people i’ve ever heard. How in the name of God are you going to allow someone to tell you what to name your own child that you took for almost 9 months if not more. I like to even thought of someone telling me as a BLACK woman that I can’t name my child what I want to. I bet I would be the last black women they tell that too. And if there are BLACK women out there that are allowing the whites to tell you what and what you can not name YOUR child, you are stupid right along with them. Get a life ya’ll. This world do not belong to the whites, it belongs to GOD and He makes all the decisions. Come to Maryland and find me and tell me what I can and can not name my baby and watch what I will do to you.

    Posted by `Renay | March 17, 2008, 5:35 am
  98. This is ridiculous. Now, wait until all of you who agree with this ruling have to deal with someone deciding to take one of YOUR freedoms away. Will you be SO QUICK to think it’s a good idea when they tell you where you can and cannot live, or who you can or cannot marry. WAKE UP!

    Posted by Stephanie Carter | March 17, 2008, 9:02 am
  99. Just what the world needs some black “candy”, “buffy”, “brittany”, “tori”, “paris”, “jasmine” ,”lindsay” and “mary kay”. Talk about your mainstream white lovies that are all HOT MESSES. What’s in a name? Evidently we can’t decide. I know he’s a republican and the next thing you know the only names that will need to know are “masta” and that word the NAACP buried.

    Posted by Elva Waterman | March 17, 2008, 9:13 am
  100. Come on now…LOL WTH?

    Why are all of you writing like you are outraged. It clearly stated that this was filed under Humor/Satire. No it is not a true story!

    Chill out. And chill out with the names, too. THere are so many names that are not common that are actually names. Why do we have to make up crap that can’t even be pronounced or spelled by our children before they get into the 5th grade? Look up your ancestry and find out what region of the workd you are from and then look up names within that group. I am sure you will find some beautiful selections that have historical significance even.

    Wow man…. this is too funny…

    Posted by Elle | March 17, 2008, 10:06 am
  101. Hello? Is there anybody in there? This is a satire, people–and a very hilarious one, I might add…
    What the heck?!

    Posted by Sonya | March 17, 2008, 10:07 am
  102. and by the way, it is true that some of the names given to our children, like a little girl that whom i once met named Kismyas or Allopecia, or the family who was named after alcoholic beverages. And believe it or not, I’ve even met a Clitoria! Of course, the children may eventually bare the shame of their parent’s actions, but the parents really don’t even have a clue.

    also, i love the part that says, “at least three white people must agree…” This is funny stuff.

    Posted by Sonya | March 17, 2008, 10:15 am
  103. Great satire – the serious protesters are hilarious – just outraged over a joke.

    Posted by jali | March 17, 2008, 10:30 am
  104. I totally agree with the outlandish names that our black women are coming up with for our children. Some of the names I see are just plain unexplainable. If there’s a meaning to your childs name, then let it b, but if not, then we find ourselves name our children Hennessey, Alize’, in which these are names of alcohol!!! Come on, give all of us a break. I also think that black fathers do have something to do with the names their children are given, because they should be around to make sure CRAP like this doesn’t happen, so yes black fathers have something to do with deciding what their childs name will be and if not, then BLACK WOMEN PLEASE DON’T NAME YOUR CHILD CLITORIA!

    Posted by Alesha | March 17, 2008, 10:41 am
  105. Yes it’s Alesha again. I just wanted to also say that ” I’ll be DAMED if I would let 3 white people approve of my childs name or help me name “MY” childs name. That right there is some bull****! This aint ROOTS

    Posted by Alesha | March 17, 2008, 10:44 am
  106. If you don’t know that this is a joke they you really should do some more reading.

    I see that racism is alive and well in the black community as well as the white community. WHITE DEVILS – Not a very polite thing to say at all.

    I am a black woman. I named my children average names with decent meanings behind them. I didn’t give them “unique” or what some may call “black” names. I chose to do this for many reasons. Mainly, I thought about how challenging the workforce is today. I thought of the many challenges black people face today. I thought of my friends from other countries who changed their names in order to make them easier to pronounce and make it easier for them to get in through the front door of a corporation’s HR department. When you see my children, you know they are black. And that’s great! But I didn’t think it was important for them to know that my child was black as soon as they saw their name on paper. This includes the class selection (which is usually done by hand) process in our public schools where they tend to throw all of the black children in one class assuming that they all will be under-achievers. Very unfortunate truth…

    Now, I have friends who are from Africa who have children born here in America. They have given their children beautiful African names with actual meanings behind the name. That is WONDERFUL! And I see nothing wrong with doing that. I just chose to give my children more common names. There are some beautiful names in the black community. Why not recycle the great ones that we have already – the ones with great meaning behind them?

    Dick – We all must know that this nick-name was around before they began using it as the “nick-name” for a man’s private part.

    Clitoria – Umm.. Well, this name is interesting. It sounds a lot like clitoris (which is a female private part). But this is actually the name of a beautiful tropical flower. Which one will people think of when they hear the name Clitoria? Unless they are a florist, they’ll probably think of the word clitoris.

    You only get one shot at a good first impression!

    One name that should be outlawed is $_H_I_T_H_E_A_D (pronounced shy-thed)! That is a horrible name for a little child. Her parents should be kicked in the butt for naming her that.

    Posted by Umm.. Get A Grip People... | March 17, 2008, 10:56 am
  107. Keeshawndra,

    I agree with you for the most part. But Kate and Jack and Jane are still being used every day. Those names are usually nicknames though. I went to school with a kid named Thunderbird. His parents were hippies and smoked way too much pot! LOL!!!

    Posted by Umm.. Get A Grip People... | March 17, 2008, 11:00 am
  108. This is hilarious. What’s sad is that black folks still don’t understand SATIRE! Poking fun at, parodying, and satirizing are a big part of our history of black folks in this country, yet and still it seems like there are way too many of us (black folks) who do not possess the critical thinking skills to recognize this artform. Ugh!

    Posted by Satire Jones | March 17, 2008, 11:02 am
  109. Once again people: THIS IS A JOKE! This article is written in a style that mimics actual press from AP, Knight-Ridder, or your local newspaper! The author, which I hope is an AA, is making a rather tongue-in-cheek comment on the profoundly ridiculous names that we give our children in the AA community.

    Re-read the article and see how many false names and likenesses you spot! I, personally, like “Corlione Vest”. Translation: Dr Cornell West.

    Posted by jlsmarts | March 17, 2008, 12:00 pm
  110. GTFOH!

    No man has the right to tell a Black Woman or any woman for that matter what she can name her child, especially if it isn’t even his. You can get slapped down to the pavement for that.

    These whyte supremist wonder why Black people rebell in any way that they can. Always have, always will. This judge sounds like if he were a slavemaster, he would be raping poor black mothers if he could get it up. If he couldn’t, he would just cruelly abuse them.

    He’d probably sentence a first time, young black drug violator to 10x the amount of time as he would an old, whyte, repeat child molestor.

    As much as these types ” HATE ” , blacks ; they would rather die than leave us alone. Typical , whyte, physco ex – husband shyt.

    We name our kids what we want. You make the name, the name doesn’t make you.
    AKA: TYSON, Jacko, Jordan, Pretty Boy, X.

    They need to stick to the fake war on drugs . Cialis, viagra, Phizer, Tobbaco & Alchol ? No, those drugs are fine because they get a cut. Stay away from the drugs they don’t get a cut from, or its trouble.
    “Hooked on herion? Here switch to Morphine… more addictive and billable to insurance?”

    And where is the gold that my money is supposed to be a reciept for?
    Why can’t I have my real wealth? Gold not paper. Who stole it & when?

    Why does the Supreme Court say the 16th Ammendmant say Income tax is voluntary but we are Forced to pay?

    Posted by EDOGZ818 | March 17, 2008, 12:28 pm
  111. I have to admit that it has gotten out of control. However, I don’t agree that the name has to sound “white” before my child is named.

    Posted by EMN | March 17, 2008, 12:35 pm
  112. Prejudice…for a good cause? This rule will be abused to stamp out any non-white sounding names..

    Posted by viaKY | March 17, 2008, 12:45 pm
  113. It is true, some of the names are a bit much. But why do white women have to agree? Since when do white people have the monopoly on intelligence? I’m sure there are plenty of African American people that can do this.

    Posted by S. Covington | March 17, 2008, 12:51 pm
  114. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    It’s really sad that some of us, do not know how to do thing within the moderation of our “freedom”. My mother has three daughters, and she would always tell us not to give our children names that would be hard to pronounce. I kept that in mind, and now, I do have a daughter and named her Melissa. And because her name is not a bunch of alphbets put together, I can always find accessories with her name on it.
    The other thing about these “off the wall names”, is that; the mother would get “mad” if you do not pronounce their child name the correct way.
    I really hope the names would come back within moderation. This is not a funny matter. We need to wake up, pull up our pants and realize what’s going on while we are sleeping.

    I really hope the names would come back within moderation.

    Posted by Linda | March 17, 2008, 12:57 pm
  115. Why is it that BLACK WOMEN always get blackballed for naming their children somthing unique.? Why is it that when yao ming from china, or little Indian Sachajaweea becomes a citizen, their names are accepted via cultural background, but blacks get criticized. If you can’t pronounce my name, that is your freekin problem…broaden your horizons and come out of the anti-semetic cave that you have wallowed in your whole life!!!! Be careful….your daughter or son just might marry little “boo-sheeka” so just learn how to pronounce it and respect the culture! People look for any reason to stereotype….for the love of GOD!!! Get over it! Ok, so your son’s name is Bob and your daughter’s name is Meagan, that is not going to stop her from being bi-polar and drowning her kids in a bathtub or little Bob from being a manic depressive that is going to shoot up his school! By anyother name a ROSE is still a ROSE!

    Posted by Telitlikeitiz | March 17, 2008, 1:03 pm
  116. I am so glad SOMEONE has stepped up to the plate and done this!!! It’s ridiculous when someone tells you a childs name, and not only can you not pronounce and spell it, but neither the child nor parent!!!! Having eccentric names are fine, but look them, see what their meaning is and SPELL IT CORRECTLY!!!

    Posted by Simone | March 17, 2008, 1:15 pm
  117. Ok-I am both humored and appalled at this article. Yes, I know it is not true and yes I know that someone out there really wishes it were. I also know that the naming of some of our kids has gotten out of hand. There is a difference between sticking to our african roots and falling right into the sterotype that has been placed on us.

    Although the “good ol’ boys” would love nothing better than to be able to rule over us with iron fists again, there is no way they would be so bold as to put any such law into play. That is absolutely ridiculous and a violation of the rights we still fight for and the rights our ancestors have died for.

    I do know for a fact that the part of the article that reasoned giving such odd names is because it’s hard to be unique is true. I have overheard it straight from the mouth of a black mother with 4 kids. Just like some white people, I thought to myself “then why don’t you stop having them and then your problems will be over.”

    We must start doing better. Sure we all want our kids to be unique and stand apart from other kids, but we are hurting their futures by giving them these outlandish names that have no meaning behing them. Who is going to look at a resume and see the name “Sha’quayquay ” and immediately want to interview her? We are hopefully about to have a black president-something I thought I would never see in my lifetime and I’m only 27 years old. A standard has been set. His name is highly unusual, but it means something. We have fought hard and long to be looked at as equals. Let’s not keep setting ourselves back with buffoonery.

    Posted by Just Peachy in Georgia | March 17, 2008, 1:22 pm
  118. Let me begin by saying I am a black women but I TOTALLY agree with this judge. As a teacher I have seen the anguish children with ridiculus names go through. Children are cruel enough without giving them extra ammunition to use. Also anout this returning us to slavery if these names are any indication of their decision making skills then these people may do better with an “overseer” because they obviously need someone to manage every aspect of their lives.

    Posted by Karol | March 17, 2008, 2:21 pm
  119. Like most of you I do agree with the names getting out of control and that all mothers and fathers need to think about the names before they are given. My children all have ethnic names, but they have no “Q’s” or apostrophize and white people still can’t pronounce them.

    This reminds me of the movie “Roots” when Kunta Kinte was told his name was “Toby”.

    Posted by LaTonya | March 17, 2008, 2:22 pm
  120. I Just want to say that I grew up always thinking my name was just a mess because I wanted to be like the other pple in my community with names that I couldn’t spell or pronounce. After reading this article I feel that it doesn’t matter what a person wants to name there child. This is for sure another way of slavery by pointing out the problems of the lack of fathers and the lack of education behind the names we choose. I believe that if we are going to make up names each Childs name SHOULD mean something should be research and that would make them special not just because you spelled it different from the last person or because it not the same name as someone else. A name doesn’t make you different you as a person defines who you are. We live in a time where when they see your name on paper they know your race and have already chosen your path. I my self have been in the situation. Where white people are shocked when meeting me and knowing I have a name that is acknowledge in there world as normal. Us as black people where never normal from the time we can on the boats but, I do not believe in this article and the way they are making women change there views on the children that they push out!!! This is just something else to think about when having children. I don’t believe in bringing in what we are lacking in our communities as a reason for names. Just because a Teacher can’t say it doesn’t mean its wrong. I think the US should focus on the the children in this country that are without parent,food,homes not there names!!!

    Posted by Chris | March 17, 2008, 2:32 pm
  121. I think that it was good to acknowledge the fact that [some] black women are going overboard with naming their child. However, I find it to be an outrage that at the end of 9 months of carrying the child, 3 white women get to approve the name. Thats stripping a women of her womenhood. All balck women don’t go through this phase where the name their child outrages names. What about them. I think that they should go about this differently because this isn’t the way. Also, I think it is racist. White women name their children stupid stuff as well, they are just societies favorite so it’s not acknowledged. They name their children names like Apple. Who the hell wants to be called Apple? Besides, who wants to be named Cabrera? Sounds like celebrex you racist.

    Posted by Kaliah Myers | March 17, 2008, 3:28 pm
    • ryan cabrera is a singer. this article is satire. if you don’t know what that means, it means its a JOKE about things that are actually happening in society.

      What’s really sad is that people don’t recognize that this is satire and believe that this could actually happen

      Posted by Lauren | January 19, 2010, 10:59 pm
  122. I wouldn’t care how stupid the name sounds the judge or no one else has the right to tell a BLACK MOTHER that she can’t name her own child. Now that would be a stupid law. There are other things in this world that are more important that need to be put in congress. How about all of these child molester or the gang violence. Find something more important to debate on than someone naming their child.

    Posted by Nichola McCray | March 17, 2008, 3:32 pm
  123. Hi, my name is very unique and I love it. This was just a way to raise awareness. But in saying that, their are many cultures whose peoples names cannot be pronounced, so do you think they should also change theirs? This is all food for thought!! I thinks it’s funny. Whatever you name your kids is your business. Now, unless somebody is going to lay down on the birthing table with you and go thru the pains with you. WHO CARES!!! But I will say we have come along way from tradition. I can remember family with the same name because it was an honor to be named after an ancestor. What has happened to that? You could call out celia and might get 4 or 5 hah’s? So then we got into nicknames. Now where into who can create the most unusual name. I’m sorry but i’m one of those people who likes to be different. My first child will be named Heavenly Blessed, or after the father. But keep writing these entertaining pieces. It keeps us all thinking.

    Posted by Sher'Ron | March 17, 2008, 3:47 pm
  124. This story is a hoax. There is no Federal Judge named Ryan Cabrera. Check your sources before you publish a story especially one as emotionally charged as this one.

    Posted by HoaxFinder | March 17, 2008, 4:54 pm
    • HOLY SCHIT SNACKS! NO WAY! IT’S A HOAX?! I can’t believe someone would put fake facts in a satire piece. Thank goodness we have people like HoaxFinder to protect us from BLATANTLY FAKE articles.

      Posted by Lloyd Christmas | September 16, 2011, 2:56 am
  125. NOW ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! SO NOW OUR RIGHTS AS TO NAMING OUR CHILDREN WHAT WE CHOOSE ,COULD BE TAKEN AWAY? SLAVERY COMES IN EVERY FORM WOULDN’T YOU AGREE?, AND THEN TO STATE THAT THREE WHITE WOMEN WOULD HAVE TO AGREE ALL BECAUSE THE CHILDS NAME IS A CHALLENGE TO THOSE WHO THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING, WHEN WILL THIS MADNESS END?

    Posted by MIONLEE MORROW | March 17, 2008, 5:21 pm
  126. A woman has the right to name her child whatsoever she wishes too, with that being said, I totally agree with the Judge on this. I don’t think it will fly, for it will probably end up at the Supreme Court in D.C. We are naming our children with perhaps names that are not even in Dr. Webster. Keep it plain and simple people. How many of us could even pronounce our child name or even spell it, before we decided on this is what we will call Him or Her.

    We are Negroes, Blacks and African Americans by The Righteousness of GOD ALMIGHTY; therefore, we don’t have to name our children as such to to prove it. The proof is in the pudding and the pudding was created in Heaven.

    AMEN.

    Posted by Joseph | March 17, 2008, 5:46 pm
  127. The people read this and got militant, but the funny thing is its a joke. We can’t always believe what we read. HISTORY or HIS STORY. Power to the people Name your children with something of substance. Peace and black love.

    Posted by Souther Gentleman | March 17, 2008, 8:56 pm
  128. I agree with the comments made by R. Jackson Jr. on March 11 on this site.

    Additionally, the ignorant U.S. Federal Judge Ryan Cabrera should be removed from the bench. Regardless of what Cabera’s racial make-up is, his views strongly resemble the “good-old boys” slavery mentality. How in the sam hill can ANY judge or law dictate to another human being that they are required to have 3 white people vote on the name of a child they do not have any rights to? This is beyond stupid.

    I agree there are some very odd names that children are stuck with and I don’t care for them, but I don’t have the right to tell anyone what to name their child, and a judge does not have the right to enpower a group of white people to make that decision either.

    The car names, the liquor names, and the rest of the “out of their freakin mind” names are a bit much, Oddily the judge doesn’t see fit to include and stop names such as Pilot, Snow, Apple, Leaf, etc. which are names assigned to White people. Bottom-line, this so-call ruling should not apply to anyone regardless of their race because it is racist and unconstitutional.

    Posted by Chrystal | March 17, 2008, 9:19 pm
  129. EDITS TO PREVIOUS POST – SHOULD HAVE READ…
    I agree with the comments made by R. Jackson Jr. on March 11 on this site.

    Additionally, if there really was an ignorant U.S. Federal Judge Ryan Cabrera he would have to be removed from the bench. Regardless of what Cabera’s racial make-up is, his views strongly resemble the “good-old boys” slavery mentality. How in the sam hill can ANY judge or law dictate to another human being that they are required to have 3 white people vote on the name of a child they do not have any rights to? This is beyond stupid, it would not be allowed to happen.

    I agree there are some very odd names that children are stuck with and I don’t care for them, but I don’t have the right to tell anyone what to name their child, and a judge does not have the right to enpower a group of white people to make that decision either.

    The car names, the liquor names, and the rest of the “out of their freakin mind” names are a bit much, Oddily the judge doesn’t see fit to include and stop names such as Pilot, Snow, Apple, Leaf, etc. which are names assigned to White people. But it’s their choice. Bottom-line, this so-call ruling should not apply to anyone regardless of their race because it is racist and unconstitutional.

    However, since there isn’t a Federal judge Cabrera this is to get the reactions that have been given.

    Posted by Chrystal | March 17, 2008, 9:31 pm
  130. Although I realize this is satire – the topic is something I face everyday as an educator. I can handle names that are based on dignity and pride – but some of these names are just ludicrous – Lil’Louis – how can this child put this name on a resume. Everyone does not have to be named Jonathan or Jessica – but Clitorius and Lemonjello – PEOPLE THINK!!! Oh yes, and Hispanics as well as whites are perpetrators of name stupidity.

    Posted by Over 50 | March 17, 2008, 9:32 pm
  131. I must say that I totally disagree with this. Of Course some people these days do go over board when naming their children, but its not just blacks. There are countries that do have policies in tact and review names before putting it on the birth certificate. I think this should be required for all children. If the name will likely cause confusion or cause the child to be teased it should be reviewed. There was a WHITE couple in the UK that wanted to name their child “4real”, spelled just like that. So please don’t make this racist. Names like “Apple ” and Hopper -Jack are not better, but I guess when you have a little money or are a celebrity, then you can name your kids whatever you want. …
    this ruling is racist and ignorant.

    Posted by Kris | March 17, 2008, 9:59 pm
  132. I find it interesting that some of us who realize that this is satire do not also see the seriousness of what this site is about. This website is about bashing the black community. Instead of being a “good house slave” and laughing right along side your white master, why not support your community and express your distaste in what they are saying about us.

    Posted by Nia | March 18, 2008, 1:22 am
  133. Oh and just because I think it’s funny, let us review a list of names of white celebrity babies:
    Arpad, Alabama, Audio Science, Blue Angel, Aquinnah, Wynter Fifi-Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom Little Pixie, Bluebell, Alcamy, Tiger Lily Heavenly, Steveanna, Alizeh, Kaiis, Moxie Crimefighter, Pilot Inspektor, Allegra (isn’t this allergy medicine??) Astrella, Apple, Speck Wildhorse, Brawley King, Daisy Boo, Poppy Honey, Destry, Fuchsia, Banjo, Amadeo, Diva Muffin, Moon Unit

    Our children may have “ghetto” names but at least they don’t sound like cartoon characters!!

    Posted by Nia | March 18, 2008, 1:33 am
  134. This action is probably not constitutional. No one has the right to tell anyone what they can name their child. Nor can a judge target just Black women. The fact that the decision purports to include “all” Black women is itself a badge of paternalistic behavior and a legacy of the slave master belief that “he knows what is best for black people.” The legal process is that if someone is not happy with the birth name they have given, as an adult they have a right to change the name, but to make a blanket decision like this is OUTLANDISH. Would someone please ask that all the Black people of African descent, who still carry the slave surname of the master, please be returned to the rightful name of the mother OR would you please tell the Judge that it would be an honorable thing to determine the inheritance and property rights of all of the Black children who were disinherited as a result of the slave master not acknowledging paternity of their children. There are a lot of us out here.

    Posted by Psquare | March 18, 2008, 2:35 am
  135. I find it interesting reading what many of you have written on this particular issue. Some say the judge is racist. Some say that the ruling is good. My issue is the many people who have complained and can’t get basic spelling or general punctuation rules correct in their comments. White, Black, Jewish, Chinese, Japanese or otherwise, we got to get it together. Parents- please, please, please come up with a sensible name for your child. Don’t come up with a name that is so utterly ridiculous that you will become the laughing stock of your child’s’ school. If you drink it, it shouldn’t become your child’s name. If you drive it, it shouldn’t become your child’s name. For those who found it offensive that the judge didn’t ban black men from naming children because of their lack of being in the child’s life, this is a fact- look at the statistics. More Black children are being raised in single-parent homes (with the mother being the predominant parent). Men are sleeping with these women, but aren’t taking the responsibility for what they do, and women, stop using yourself as a semen depository for men who in the end will not care for you or take care of what they have created. We have more African American men in prison than are going to college. How many wake-up calls do we need to get our stuff together? WAKE UP!!!!!

    Posted by Landover, MD | March 18, 2008, 2:46 am
    • YOU BRING UP SOME VERY GREAT POINTS.. TERRIBLE TRUTHS THAT ARE A REAL INDICATOR OF HOW. DAMN. FAR. WE. HAVE. FALLEN. BUT JUST TO LET YOU KNOW… IT’S SATIRE..(COMEDIC SARCASM- IN THIS CASE IT’S IN THE FORM OF A FAKE NEWS ARTICLE) THE JUDGE IS MADE UP- THE PEOPLE ARE MADE UP… EVER SEEN http://WWW.THEONION.COM ?? IT’S SATIRICAL NEWS FOR THE SAKE OF LAUGHTER.. NOT MILITANT HATE.. ALTHOUGH BY LOOKING AT MOST OF THE POSTS ON HERE MOST OF YA’LL JUST DON’T SEEM THAT BRIGHT.. READING THE ONION WOULD PROBABLY MAKE YOUR HEADS EXPLODE..HAHA.. SIMPLE SOLUTIONS TO BIG PROBLEMS.. #1 THESE YOUNG HOES NEED TO KEEP THEIR LEGS CLOSED OR AT LEAST GO ON BIRTH CONTROL- AND THE ONES THAT THINK HAVIN A KID AT 15 MAKES THEM COOL OR A WOMAN WELL THEY JUST NEED SMACKED. THE SINGLE MOTHER RAISING MEN DYNAMIC IS LITERALLY KILLING OUR BLACK CHILDREN. EVERY DAY. EVERY TIME HE GOES OUT ON THAT CORNER- NEVER HAVING BEEN TAUGHT BY A REAL MAN (not the older drug dealers in his ear they don’t count- drug dealers aren’t men-they’re animals) NOT KNOWING ANY BETTER AND MOM’S AT WORK LATE. HE GETS SHOT WISHIN HE WOULD HAVE HAD A DAD TO KEEP HIM OFF.. THAT- CORNER. THESE LITTLE BOYS CAN’T RAISE A KID (note: little boys can be as old as 50 haha) AND THESE YOUNG GUHHS KNOW THAT BUT THEY GET PREGNANT ANYDAMN-WAY AND EXPECT WHAT? THAT THIS FOOL GONNA CHANGE IT UP FOR YOU? HE CAN’T HANDLE HIS OWN LIFE- IF YOU GO TO THE CLINIC YOU’D BE BETTER OFF..YOUNG LADIES:: WAIT FOR THE GUY THAT TALKS TO YOUR SOUL- THE MAN THAT KNOWS WHAT YOU WANT BEFORE YOU WANT IT- THAT DOESN’T HIT YOU- THAT WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON YOU- THAT LOVES YOU- THAT TREATS A LADY LIKE A LADY- THEN, AND ONLY THEN, HAVE THE BABY, HELL HAVE 10 BABIES.. BUT GET MARRIED FIRST…. MARRIAGES WORK WHEN PEOPLE MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS GOING IN. ..ONE DAY I HOPE WE’LL START SEEING AS MANY BLACK WEDDINGS AS WHITE ONES.. BECAUSE THIS BABY MAMA DRAMA BULLSHIT JUST MAKES US LOOK LIKE WE ON THE GOT DAMN MAURY SHOW. STEP IT UP BLACK PEOPLE!!!! #2EDUCATION IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN A CHILD’S LIFE. SPORTS ARE SECOND. THE GOOD COLLEGES DON’T TAKE THE IDIOTS WHO CAN’T GET THE GOOD TEST SCORES ANYWAY SO IT IS NOT ONLY SMART BUT MANDATORY THAT THE CHILD DO WELL. BUT BACK TO THE TOPIC WHETHER YOUR KID PLAYS SPORT OR NOT THEY MUST GET GOOD GRADES AND NEVER MISS SCHOOL UNLESS GETTIN CLOSE TO NEEDIN THAT E.R. VISIT YOU FEEEL MEEEE? HAHA BUT SERIOUSLY GET YOUR KIDS IN SCHOOL AND HELP THEM WHEN THEY NEED HELP.. EVEN IF YOU WASN’T NO GOOD AT SCHOOL YOUR DAMN SELF THATS A BONDING EXPERIENCE AND YOU’D BE SURPRISED HOW MUCH IT WILL MEAN TO THE CHILD. EDUCATION IS OUR WAY OUT OF THE GHETTOS BLACK AMERICA.. NOT DRUG DEALIN, NOT RAPPIN, NOT FOOTBALL OR BASKETBALL, NOT STRIPPIN, NOT HOE’IN…. IT HAS TO BE US. OUR EDUCATION. AN EDUCATED US! CAN YOU IMAGINE IF EVERY BLACK KID WAS AS SMART AS EVERY WHITE KID? THAT’S THE ONLY WAY TO TRUE EQUALITY. IT’S REALLY THAT SIMPLE. THE SMARTER WE ARE THE SMARTER WE ARE. WE CAN DO THIS ALL. ALL OF IT. BLACK PEOPLE! WE CAN RISE TO GLORY AGAIN. TO WHEN YOU DIDNT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT OUR 15 YEAR OLDS SELLIN HEROIN AND CARRYING MACHINE GUNS (WELL UNLESS YOU KNOW ABOUT BUMPY JOHNSON AND MY BOYS DOWN IN HARLEM BACK IN THE 30S WOOOOWEEE LOTS OF MONEY DIFFERENT STORY FOR DIFFERENT TIME. BUT SAME MORAL- HE DIED IN PRISON) BUT BACK ON TOPIC- IT’S ALL IN THE EDUCATION. ITS SUPPORT AT HOME. IT’S SUPPORT FROM TEACHERS. ITS COMMUNITIES FLOURISHING TOGETHER. TELL ME WHY WE HAD THIS KIND OF SHIT IN THE 70S WHEN BLACK PEOPLE WANTED TO GO TO PENN STATE INSTEAD OF THE STATE PEN AND NOWADAYS WE’RE WORSE OF THAN EVER?? AS A SOCIETY- WORSE OFF THAN EVER!? TOO MANY WHORING WOMEN HAVING KIDS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THANG JUST ANOTHER CHECK BECAUSE SHIT “I AIN’T GONNA TAKE GOOD CARE OF THE LIL NIGGA ANYWAY SHOOOT YOU KNOW?” (ignorant black bitch) THERE ARE MILLIONS OF AMAZING BLACK MOTHERS BUT ALSO MANY MANY BAD ONES.. TELL YOU PEOPLE WHAT I TELL MY SONS… IF SHE GOT MULTIPLE KIDS BY MULTIPLE MEN- RUN. ALWAYS RUN. … TO SUM IT UP.. EDUCATION HAS TO BE NUMBER ONE AND THE BABY MAMA BULLSHIT HAS TO STOP AND IT AINT ALL THE MAN’S FAULT- ALOT OF THESE YOUNG GIRLS WITH THESE KIDS TODAY ARE JUST CUTTHROAT GOLD DIGGING WHORES THAT WOULD LEAVE THEY BABY DADDY’S IN A SECOND FOR SOME MONKEY DANCIN RAPPER ASS NIGGA. SHAMEFUL. SHAMEFUL, SHAMEFUL. BUT BLACK PEOPLE! WE CAN DO IT! THE STRONG SURVIVE-THE SMART PROPSER.

      Posted by Uncle Ruckus | November 15, 2011, 3:34 am
  136. People like pretty sounding names, it doesn’t have to mean anything more than the fact that they were given a name. Many races and cultures are guilty of this act. Only a person who doesn’t get around much would think that white people should have the authority to allow the naming of ones’ child. Thank god for stupid satire.

    Posted by R Geford | March 18, 2008, 2:49 am
  137. I am a African-American woman. I am 33 years-old and I have two sons. I would not want someone to tell me what to name my son. African-American women are not iliterate. If you live in America and you are Black. You do not just have African-American in your race. You have other cultures in your family. America is a melting pot of different cultures. Its just not white and black. We need to focus on educating are youth and keeping them out of jail. There are good black men out here. We need to quit bashing a black man and stop dating dead beats.

    Posted by Ronda D. | March 18, 2008, 2:56 am
  138. What kind of bias BS is this. Yes, the names can be a bit outrageous, but no Judge should be able to name a just because he’s tired or to lazy to pronounce the name. And if it is that exotic then ask the parent how to pronounce it! Too much power and it is obviously being abused. So I guess our black children’s names should be “Rumor”, “Apple”, “Kal-el Coppola”, “Audio Science”, “Poppy Honey”. Who’s to say these names are a good choice?!

    Posted by ANYA | March 18, 2008, 10:38 am
  139. This stuff is funny although it is satire. I agree that the naming has gotten out of hand but its curtailment must rest on the parents rather than anyone else. Before finalizing that new name think about situations where that name can be an embarassment or turnoff. In the end, think about how you would feel with the name you have chosen.

    Posted by Doug | March 18, 2008, 10:47 am
  140. THANK YOU… Mr. R. Jackson Jr… I COULDN’T HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF!

    Yes, the names are Outrageous. No one and I repeat No one has the the right to tell me or any women, what I can or cannot name my child.
    I DARE You!

    Posted by Angie | March 18, 2008, 11:16 am
  141. i am a 44 year old black woman and i must say i do agree w/these out raggous names. it ‘s what ever comes to mind that no one can pronouce, not even the mother who come up w/the name that they mist heard on a commerical or sign while driving down the highway and for got how to spell it or know what it means. poor child want be able to spell or say her name on the 1st day of school. someone should have put a stop to this a long time ago. or give the parent a child’s name book once they found out they are pregenet.

    Posted by angela woods | March 18, 2008, 11:17 am
  142. Yes, this may be a joke, but by no means is it funny. That’s the problem. Everybody laughs at our expense and we’re supposed to lighten up. Don’t get me started about the N*** jokes that we were made to laugh at for centuries. Come on, lets laugh at something that’s not offensive to someone or can damage a person’s self esteem. As a person who works in a court system, I see all types of names. Yes, some of the names are crazy, unusual, scary even, but laughing at a child’s (or an adult) expense is not funny at all.

    Posted by NOT A FUNNY JOKE | March 18, 2008, 11:22 am
  143. I totally disagree with the government being allowed to tell a mother who bore a child for nine months what she can or cannot name her child. What is wrong with the leaders in Detroit? Can’t they see the apparent “racist tone” of this decision? Why aren’t they knocking down the doors of the Supreme Court to stop this? I agree many of the names of children placed upon them by young mothers, are in fact “made up” in an attempt to be different, without much thought to the long-term affect on the child. These women need to be educated not legislated against. Hopefully after seeing it through someone else’s eyes they’ll be willing and able to give their children names that are culturally meaningful , and still different. A child’s name should not cause one’s jaw to drop at hearing it, nor cause uneasiness in trying to spell or pronounce them.

    Posted by Over 60 | March 18, 2008, 11:23 am
  144. In my opinion, this is an outrage to all mothers whether they are African-Americans, Caucasions, Hispanics, or other nationalities, weathly, middle-class, poor, etc. How dare anyone tell a mother what she can name her child. This is the 21st Century and if we allow same sex marriages and openly accept school children changing their birth sex to the opposite…How in the hell do you want to take the rights away from poor young black mother’s..History told us that Slavery ended in 1865 and the Wealthy, Rich White Master’s lost the right to change a man, woman or child’s birth name to TOBY, JUNEBUG, or MAGGIE ANNE.

    Slavery is back again in the 21st Century and it’s being disquised by our legal system and the new Master’s name is Judge Ryan Cabrera. I say lets sign a petition to have his first name changed to something like Robert, Richard, Ralph, etc. This way the poor black mother’s could have some justice in pronouncing the Judge’s name correctly when he has changed their child’s name!

    Posted by Laura Richards | March 18, 2008, 11:35 am
  145. It is so sad that we don’t value ourselves enough to depend on our own judgements in giving our children name… I guess white people will alway validate us, I mean we have allowed them to place us in modern day slavery a box that predict what we are to do from one minute to the next…First, we allow them to name our children, next, they will hold our lil boys penis while they pee.GTFOH….

    Choosing a name has always been a sacred practice in Ancient Africa …Don’t blame us for trying to hold on to a little of our roots…. I would love to meet the authoritve figures who said Connor, Miles, Billy Jean, and Bobby Jo were sensible names. What is the origin and meanning of Bobby Jo? I’m waiting… ..Don’t hate on the black women….Black people- A house divided can not stand… who side are you on?

    Posted by Anna | March 18, 2008, 11:59 am
  146. jlsmarts

    Satires are laced with political affliations most poking fun at politics, the presidency etc.. baby this is just a joke! get it straight…

    Posted by Anna | March 18, 2008, 12:08 pm
  147. My feeling is that this news article is fake. But fake or not, I’m aggravated 1–because I can’t stand some of the names I hear on a daily basis anyway and 2–because even if this is fake, it just illustrates how other people feel that they are entitled to dictate what’s good for the black community.

    So what if someone else (including me) can’t pronounce or can’t understand a name given to a child. When you permit (in real life or in fake news) people dictating what a mother can and cannot name her child, you are moving in on their civil rights. After all that we’ve gone through, just as a culture, and the fact that “they” seem to take all that’s ours anyway–I say let the ghetto fab parents name their children what they want.

    Don’t get me wrong, as a black woman who loves her race, I don’t condone it–and I’ve known some people with some DOOZIES for names. But I am more opposed to people–especially the government–imposing on a person’s right to name their child. Shoot, go after those “other” celebrities who named their babies (and yes, these are real names): Master Inspektor, Audio Science, etc.

    The line about black people naming their children odd names since the 60s pissed me off because the person writing this fake article did obviously want to get a reaction out of people, but the problem with this tactic is it paint’s an incorrect picture of my people and in-turn, the writer has shot themselves in the foot by making our culture seem one-dimensional, based on the actions of a few, as opposed to the dynamic multi-faceted kaleidoscope that we are. In the 60s, black culture embraced the beauty of being BLACK. Not the beauty of being “Afro American” or being “Negro” or being “formerly colored” but many of us who used to see being called black as fighting words learned to embrace it. So many black people changed their own names to those of African influence and named their kids that as such.

    bad part about the “article” below is, no mention is made of all the white hippies in the 60s who named their children after constellations and made up names obtained on acid trips! There are just as many Moonbeam Jones, Rainbow Sun Andrews, etc. out there as there are Shaniquas and Shakaleeshas. Hell, Julia Roberts named her son Finnius….

    My beef with this whole thing, after reading it was that once again, ignorance is basically described as a black thing. As a black woman who has had the pleasure of meeting, loving, and being friends with some of the most dynamic and intelligent black people I’ve ever met–I resent that. There are just as many horrible baby names given by white, Asian, mixed, Latina, Hispanic, Indian, etc mothers as there are blacks. Ours are highlighted more because we go overboard with ours and might leave out all the vowels, and yes, make an apostrophe a letter. But I just am very upset at the fact that this “article” is basically saying that black women don’t have the mental capacity to name their children and their choice needs to be verified by three white people. Are you kidding me?

    The person who wrote this fake article obviously wanted to spark a dialogue. Which leads me to believe this person is one of two things: 1.) a BLACK person trying to rile other black folks up and help the ghetto fab moms see the light. try again, not gonna work..the problems within our community need a different and more stringent and REAL approach than that
    2.) a white person who is just an a**hole

    Either way, the approach sucks and of this were real, what credentials make these white people worthy of judging our names? There was a great story on the Today Show yesterday about bad baby names (which is probably what prompted the writer to write this dumb a** article) and they mentioned that “unique” names had been American custom since early 1900s, late 1800s–AMONG VICTORIAN ERA WOMEN. There were women naming their babies Lust Garten, Cash Guy, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Mary A. Fool, etc. so don’t sit up there and try to tell me, a black woman, that when my time comes to have children, I might have to have three people who came from a culture that got “civilized” 300 years after my people controlled the trade and educational systems on the earth verify whether or not the name I might choose to name my child is worthy of their white approval.
    b*tch please!

    Sorry to get so amped up you guys ;-)

    Posted by Morgan | March 18, 2008, 12:18 pm
  148. You have got to be kidding me. You should be allowed to name your child whatever you want. If a child doesn’t like their name you can legal change your name once. So that Judge needs to stay out of grown folks business and get a life. And a rule just for black women. Can we say racial discrimination against the law get it together he knows better than that and it wouldn’t stand in the Supreme Court so stop wasting everyones time with your own personal beliefs.

    Posted by Dinyelle | March 18, 2008, 12:24 pm
  149. Thank the lord for the judge because Black Women are getting or have gotten riduculous in naming there children and it is sad that it is predominatly poor black women. Why yolu would name your child something that will haunt them especially when they are young and trying to adjust to peer pressure. Mercedes,Alize and or Shequanna are names that automatically say black person. Come on Black people it is bad enough you show up for a job interview and the whiteman can already tell you are black by your name. most of the time you will not get the interview because of your name. WAKE UP BLACK PEOPLE!!!

    Posted by K. Walls | March 18, 2008, 12:29 pm
  150. I think the judge over stepped their bounds in a legal sense. To select one group and demand such a thing is selective racism.

    Posted by Dianne | March 18, 2008, 12:39 pm
  151. And regarding jali’s comment, it’s not about being “outraged over a joke” it’s about being disgusted that many people, including black people, see nothing wrong with allowing society to make black culture the but of any and every joke. So those who are disgusted by a bad joke such as this are the same ones who are disgusted by a**holes like Al Jolsen and his latter day brothers in ignorance using black culture and the actions of some to dictate they way they view and try to influence others’ views of blackness, being black, and being black in America.

    Posted by Morgan | March 18, 2008, 12:44 pm
  152. FIRST THINGS FIRST! I AM A BLACK MAN!

    IF WE NEED A LAW TO STOP THE MADNESS THAT LAW SHOULD HAVE TO DO WITH THESE BLACK, WHITE, BROWN GREY RED ORANGE WOMEN FROM HAVING BABIES IN THE FIRST PLACE.

    IF YOU DON’T HAVE A CAREER WITH MEDICAL CARE WHY ARE YOU HAVING A CHILD. THESE WOMEN ARE LUCKY THEY ARE NOT IN CHINA OR JAPAN,(READ ABOUT IT ON THE WEB) OR PICK UP A BOOK.

    IF THESE WOMEN KNEW THEY WOULD BE FORCED TO GET OUT AND WORK TO SUPPORT THESE CHILDREN MAYBE THEY WOULD THINK TWICE BEFORE LAYING DOWN WITH SOME BROKE WANT TO BE THUG GANGSTER HOOD SCRUB.

    IF THERE IS ANYTHING KEEPING BLACK PEOPLE DOWN OUTSIDE OF RACIAL ISSUES IS THE AFOREMENTIONED HOOD RAT THUGS. BLACK PEOPLE STOP THE MADDNESS!
    AND YES THE JUDGE IS A RACIST!

    Posted by MARCELLO | March 18, 2008, 12:46 pm
  153. Some of today’s name are really out there and more thought should go into selecting a name. But that doesn’t give anyone the right to tell a mother what she can and cannot name her child. Some of their names are not so great either, Tad and Tabitha, Harry and Sally. I believe the judge was thinking like a slave owner. His generalization regarding black men was out of order. After all, what about his name, it won’t win an Oscar.

    Posted by Under 50 | March 18, 2008, 12:48 pm
  154. I do not believe that anyone should tell a woman what to name her child. Black women have been naming their children creative names even before the 1960s when many were trying to “connect” with Africa. Otherwise there wouldn’t be such colorful names in the Black community as “Inez” or “Rufus” or I even had twin aunts name Jessie and Lessie Mayon.

    Now I will admit that those names pale in creativity from Shelithia or Marshika or anything that could be derived from Yoruba or Swahili. But no one should be telling people who tend to have very little control over anything else in their worlds how to name their children.

    If the racist system in America didn”t exist it wouldn’t matter what you named your child because no one would toss out their resume based on the name at the top.

    Posted by Stacey | March 18, 2008, 12:55 pm
  155. Ok…. for real… this is Satire but even so, there is a good point to be made with this. The names are a little out a of hand. Dont you think? The black women part they could have left out. That was taking it a bit far.

    Posted by Danielle | March 18, 2008, 1:03 pm
  156. I’m sorry Jlsmart, My the last comment was directed to Satire Jones not you….

    Posted by Anna | March 18, 2008, 1:32 pm
  157. These names have gone to far… Names should carry a meaning not fantasy! These kids and other people will have a hard time not only spelling thier name but pronoucing the name

    Posted by Moja Mo | March 18, 2008, 1:37 pm
  158. Great article. Too bad that so many of my “brothas” and “sistas” are too ignorant to recognize satire aka humor when they read it. Instead of getting up in arms about who can tell me to do what, you should be THINKING!

    Black children are BRANDED LIKE SLAVES with these silly, crazy names. Teachers and employers form a negative opinion based on the child’s name before even meeting the child. Stop giving THEM the advantage!

    The author of the article had a valid point. Some of these names are outright ridiculous (which is not spelled rediculous). No one can pronounce the names not even the parents or the children. Can we please get hooked on PHONICS and stop embarrassing the entire black community??

    Posted by Idona | March 18, 2008, 2:13 pm
  159. As soon as I read this, I knew it held no truth since such a ruling would be both discriminating and unconstitutional. This was obviously some idiots twisted way of telling a story in order to cause and uproar, and judging by the comments on this blog, it worked. We must first think, then research before reacting to garbage like this. As usual, I’m just keeping it real!

    Posted by Keeping it Real | March 18, 2008, 3:02 pm
  160. I agree with Shea … I’ve worked in H.R. for many companies and see what happens when a person’s name undoubtedly distinguishes their race from others. And when an employer sees a name that is less ‘White American’, the person isn’t given the opportunity to even interview. Yes, this is ‘illegal’, but it happens anyway. There is a lot of power in a name; what you are ‘labeled’ from birth shapes your destiny, whether you choose to believe that or not. Please think carefully before deciding the fate of another human being.

    Posted by Janet | March 18, 2008, 3:11 pm
  161. This is the most outlandish thing I have ever heard. I am beyond the baby having stage, but if I were still able to have children, I would like to see this judge and his three white people trying to name my child. Did the go through nine months of pregnancy? Did the go through labor pains? I don’t think so and I don’t think they would be naming my child. We would be visiting every court in the United States!

    Posted by Hazel | March 18, 2008, 3:16 pm
  162. I COMPLETELY agree with Dana on 3.13 Enough said!

    Posted by Chris B. | March 18, 2008, 3:35 pm
  163. Please are you people serious. People should be able to name there child what ever they want. Period! The Judge should have thrown this case out! “Beginning in one week, at least three white people must agree with the name before a black mother can name her child.” Nobody has a problem with this? Detroit is off the Hook! Hey I thank some of the name are crazy too but that does not give me the right to say they should not name there kid “Cray-Ig”! Please if we look at our politician in the same light maybe this country would not be so BENT!

    Posted by KAS | March 18, 2008, 3:39 pm
  164. I have to laugh at the ones who claim that they give them these names to sound more African. Shoot, every African I know wants to be called Joe or Kay or some common name. They may keep their African last name, but there are no apostrophes and they usually try to shorten that and make a more Americanized verison of it.

    People also don’t realize that when these kids get older and apply for jobs or college, they are often shooting themselves in the foot as the white or uppitty black person on the reviewing end will look no further past the name and make assumptions about their capability.

    Posted by MS. Diva | March 18, 2008, 3:46 pm
  165. this is absolutely out rageous,,,, the right of the american people(black american people) should not be micro managed and fine lined in such a way as this…….. if i’m not mistaken, i remember reading that the judge was just”tired” of the different names,,, i get tired of a lot of things but they are tolerated because i recognize the fact that differences are what makes the world more interesting,,, and as for the white women agreeing on the names,, this little theory proves the crazy stero type that white people are “know it alls” and everyone else is beneath them!!!! i think not!!!!! stop the madness,,, if your name is mary and you’re blonde with blue eyes, there will be people who will pre judge,, and if your name is shawkatima and you’re black , some people will still pre judge,, but instead , we should send a message to judge by the way a person PROVES there selves to be…come on now,,, let’s get it together !!!!!!

    Posted by MS APRIL | March 18, 2008, 3:55 pm
  166. O.K. Enough is enough. This is a humorous/satirical piece. So for those of you who took it seriously, DONT’T! On the other hand, people should realize that a mother’s giving her child a “unique” name can often be a good thing because it means when that mother calls that kid, the kid will definitely know who’s being called. Also, it can give a child something to work with, certainly in terms of learning how to spell with letters other than k-i-m or a-n-n or b-r-i-t-n-e-y! Get my drift? It’s like the old saying, “what’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet!” And that from a guy named “William!”

    Whatever happened to asking someone, “How do you pronounce your name? Oh, that’s an interesting name. Where did it come from?” Or do teachers want all of their students to be named George Foreman? Would that make it easier for ya??? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

    Posted by audball515 | March 18, 2008, 3:55 pm
  167. Very well said and stated Stefani , on March 14th. No proof, no judge no glory. Mothers just realize your child will have to live with its’ name.

    Posted by Vasanta | March 18, 2008, 4:03 pm
  168. Outlandish names are given throughout the races. If you can’t pronounce a child’s name, ask the child. This is man’s law, not God’s law.

    Posted by Ms. CEW | March 18, 2008, 4:11 pm
  169. It is “interesting” that we can be critical of what a mother names her child, after having carried it for nine months, labor, and delivery … and yet, we can’t seem to do a thing about the white citizens league, american nazi party, or the KKK. I once mentioned changing my name to my own mother. She looked at me very intently and asked, “So do you want to change mine too?” “I’m the one who carried you for nine months, I can name you what ever the “heck” I want too!!!!!! …and you better not change it!”

    Who the heck is this judge and isn’t Cabrera a hispanic name? Why, I ask, is he concerned with what black folks name their kids?

    Posted by Steven W. Brown | March 18, 2008, 4:13 pm
  170. So, it’s ok to name our children names like Jake and Connor, which are names that most whites name their children. I guess it’s ok for him to push their names off on us. What happened to the freedom in this country? What about what we want ? Oh, our wants and thoughts doesn’t matter cause looks like we are headed back to slavery, and this country talks about racial issues in Mississippi, please. It’s none of the states business what a mother chooses to name her child. Who wants to name their child Anna Claire. You guys are full of it, and I’m ashamed of the african-american mothers who didnt challenge this crap.

    Posted by Karen | March 18, 2008, 4:29 pm
  171. I think the judge has a dirty mind and needs to educate himself. Clitoria is the name of a beautiful topical flower. Google it and see for yourself. That’s what’s wrong with the world today, everyone wants to pigeonhole other people to think like they do. Let the teachers get educated and learn how to pronounce the children’s names. After all I had to learn to pronounce the teacher’s names like Przybysz; Raheem Jamokemyatta; and numerous other ethnic names. Who the hell wants to be a Molly, Colton, or Chance.

    Posted by Hester | March 18, 2008, 4:30 pm
  172. I have truly enjoyed reading all the heated commentary brought on by an obvious joke. One might think that such blatent hints like “… at least three white people must agree with the name before a black mother can name her child” and “Cabrera’s ruling exempted black men because so few of them are actually involved in their children’s lives” would have clued people in on the attempt at humor but I guess it’s true that a sucker is indeed born every minute.

    Apparently, many of them ran here to post their outraged thoughts.

    But if I were to take this seriously, and speaking as a “white person,” I have never in my life given a second thought to a name that was hard for me to pronounce – and with the melting pot of names our country holds it’s going to happen to you at least once in your lifetime (assuming you are not raised by bears in a remote stretch of Alaska and never have human contact) – simply ask the person how they pronounce their name and move on.

    And with that said, let me say THANK YOU one last time to all the hilarious comments generated by joke article that really wasn’t very funny.

    Posted by Laughing Hard | March 18, 2008, 4:32 pm
  173. R. Jackson Jr. // March 11, 2008 at 1:57 pm
    You hit the nail on the head.

    Posted by Ghee | March 18, 2008, 4:32 pm
  174. This article is bogus…no such ruling exists. How I feel about it is irrelevant…it is none of my business what someone names their child, and no one here has to deal with and it is not our concern…I really want to know how the name of a child affects anyone on this dumb post… America is a melting pot, and there are plenty of foreign names that are extremely difficult to pronounce…so what the judges are going to put a stop to that too. Get real…too much other sh*t is going on in the world today.

    Posted by Real Talk | March 18, 2008, 4:41 pm
  175. You know the more I read this article, and the more I reviewed everyone’s comments the angrier I became..My name is unusual, as is my daughters, however my daughters name which is Jahzara is Ethiopian Geez for “Blessed Princess, Look up to God”, means something. I am all for showing a collective connection to your ancestry, but at least let it mean something.. Further more, I think it is very small minded of the judge in this case to state that only black women, would need to go through this assinine process, look and Gwyeneth Paltrow for crying out loud, she named her kid after a fruit…What he should have ruled is that people should not be able to discriminate because of the name, the teacher should do some research on how to pronounce our names, as opposed to forcing us to give our children who are clearly not of European descent, European names….

    Posted by Avita | March 18, 2008, 4:42 pm
  176. What about the name Asberry? That name has been passed down 5 generations on my ex-husbands side. My son hates the name! His father insisted that he have his name. Now my son is living without him and is stuck with the crazy name.

    Posted by Danielle C. | March 18, 2008, 4:44 pm
  177. IT IS AN HONOR TO NAME A CHILD. AND WHAT EVER THAT MAY BE SHOULD BE CHERISHED , ONE MANS TRASH IS ANOTHER MANS TREASURE, no one seem to complain about Beyonce,condelisa,they are all unique… now DICK, BOB,BILL, MARY-KATE ,MILLIE SUE, AND many others as stupitas it may seem they all have a certian meaning naming a child is one of the last rights a mother has dont take that away too,
    she already has to raise a child with out disipline, rules and structure all because of the government and now they want to take away the right to name a child too?
    WAKE UP PEOPLE

    Posted by mrs.whiteside | March 18, 2008, 4:57 pm
  178. KEEP THE GOVERNMENT OUT !!!

    Posted by mrs.whiteside | March 18, 2008, 4:59 pm
  179. A MOTHERS RIGHT !!!!!

    Posted by mrs.whiteside | March 18, 2008, 4:59 pm
  180. When i was reading this i was praying that it was a joke. I am so relieved that it is. I have to agree that some people go over board with the name thing but i also think its part of being expressive. I just wish people would give some forthought into how its going to affect a childs life. Can you imagine going to a interview named clitoria jackson. My cousin named her child Nolej (pronounced knowledge) and though i admit its a “odd”, i also admit its different. I just hope it doesnt have long term negative effects for the lil guy.

    Posted by sean ekirei jefferson | March 18, 2008, 5:09 pm
  181. ok ha ha ha i did realize that it was a joke at first, until i started reading the comments. Because if it was real I sure had alot to say. I feel a little bad becsue my daughter’s name is Tajanique but it’s not that i am ghetto or my child is, it’s a friggin name. however i did see a 20/20 special where people with common (white) names like beverly, and robert, are more like to get a job than nevaeh, or tajanique because their deemed to ghetto. turn it down just a bit thought because names like princess chritianae(that is the first name) diavion monique bruce are just a little far fetched. sorry sis i had to tell’em!! lol

    Posted by Tanaya | March 18, 2008, 5:55 pm
  182. This is a hoax. I could not even find the judge’s name on the federal list.
    http://www.fjc.gov/public/home.nsf/hisj
    If a person does not like his or her name, when they get of age change it. As for other people, they need to stop being so judgemental; the attitude is classist and racist. Yes, it is not a good idea to name your child after a sexual body part,waste, or an alcoholic beverage. As for everything else, that is a person’s right. Maybe Tiger Woods should have been named “Dick” that would have been better to some people?

    Posted by SUPAMA | March 18, 2008, 6:23 pm
  183. I did notice at the end of this article it has
    Categories: Humor · Satire
    Tagged: children, Legal, Women

    I sure hope this is satire, because as R. Jackson Jr. // March 11, 2008 at 1:57 pm and others have noted, the names of some celebrity children are point blank words as in Moxie Crime Fighter!
    This better be a joke! If not, there will be hell about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Posted by JossB | March 18, 2008, 6:44 pm
  184. Is this is a Joke? A U.S. Federal Judge Ryan Cabrera made a ruling forbidding African American mothers from naming their children in the year of 2008. If this is not a joke, then where is the anger and outrage from communities across America. And is it also true thatThe National Association of Elementary School Teachers celebrated Cabrera’s decision? If none of this is a joke then we as a people are in a sad state in America. As a former teacher, it was my job to find out how to pronounce each and everyone of my student’s names. Many of my students were from different countries and I learned to celebrate their differences and their beautiful cultural names. I am in awe that we are even responding with why some African American mothers are naming their children. It is their God-given right to name that child, not make it easy for some narrow-minded teacher who claims that it takes too much time out of their day to try and pronounce a student’s name. I REALLY DON’T KNOW ABOUT MOST OF YOU, BUT I AM OUTRAGED THAT THEY HAVE THE AUDACITY TO RULE IN THAT MANNER AND GET AWAY WITH IT!!! ALSO TO HAVE A PANEL OF 3 WHITE FOLKS TO APPROVE OF THE NAME. WHAT ARE WE BACK ON THE AUCTION BLOCKS AND MUST HAVE WHITEY NAME US AGAIN???? PLEASE, IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS ANY SENSE, WE MUST DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!!!!! AS AN AFRICAN AMERICAN MOTHER AND GRANDMOTHER I AM READY TO FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!!! LEGALLY OR ON THE STREET!!! EMAIL ADDRESS: DKSHARIFF@GMAIL.COM

    Posted by Deborah Shariff | March 18, 2008, 6:47 pm
  185. Black names are no different than Hispanic names or even Asian names. Is a judge ordering them to change their names? NO I can’t halfway pronounces other races’ names. This is just another way to criticize Black people. If the child doesn’t like their name then they should be the only one with the right to change it.

    Posted by Erin | March 18, 2008, 7:05 pm
  186. I agree that the names of our black children are getting completely out of hand, however I do not agree with the judges resolution of the problem. I do believe that something must be done to keep are black children from being judged by the sound and appearance of their names, because our mothers want to name their children after their fathers as well as themselves and then have five different names before they even get to their last names.

    Posted by Arlynda | March 18, 2008, 7:14 pm
  187. Thank you Bill Mathews for offering us yet another platform from which to launch our blacks against whites argument. It is sad that we as Black people would allow comedy to get us in such an upraor. We wanted to crucify one white comedian for calling a team of young black women, nappy headed hoes, and now this. We know these things are unacceptable before any white comedian says them. Name your children what you wish, it was called a joke to cover the racism behind it. I was happy to see such a big response from our Black community, but we need to put just as much effort into educating our children. If we just complian and do nothing we will continue to be a joke for the white man. Maybe with education such things as these ridiculous names would not be the case. If we educate our children well enough they will be able to change their names to whatever suits them in time. Who is getting so upset about the real white judges that are laughing about throwing our young black men in cages simply because they can or what about the ones laughing at our young black men when they kill one another over twelve dollars, or a pack of cigarttes, or because they feel like they were disrespected by another young black man, get upset about that, please. If we have self respect, respect from others will follow. Lets be more proactive instead of just reactive. How many of us read the valedictorian article on this same page?

    Posted by proud | March 18, 2008, 7:27 pm
  188. my children have unique names to my era of upbringing, as i don’t disagree with society that some mothers are going too far and are not considering the negative effects it might cause the children in the years too come, but i strongly dissagree that government should be allowed to censor the naming of ones offspring. I feel that the government has involed themselves on too many situation of private family life, hence, a childs name that our first admendment rights are being slowly stripped from us, especially in the minority community. This might be a step to protect the children, but that child has the option to have their names legally changed.

    Posted by rlh | March 18, 2008, 7:37 pm
  189. This whole thing sounds silly to me , how can slavery come back ? This is America . Our young black woman and even those actors need to think a little longer when naming their babies. Think about how they have to go thru life with that handle.

    Posted by sandra | March 18, 2008, 8:05 pm
  190. Thank the Lord, But have you ever tried to pronounce the names in the the people named their children in the Bible

    Posted by Inez Toles | March 18, 2008, 8:55 pm
  191. This can’t be a real article. This is so absurd that it borders on ridiculous. If no one reprimanded this judge, if this is real, then shame on the entire city for allowing such a ridiculous ruling.

    Posted by Annie | March 18, 2008, 9:00 pm
  192. I’m not quite sure that everything in this article is even on the border of the truth. But on the slim chance that this is the truth, this ruling is ridiculous. First of all, since when did Caucasians become the official judges over what is right and wrong? These names are overboard, but if one group of people should be forced to undergo a name critique, then any and every baby: black, white, asian, hispanic, whatever, should be forced to do the same. And what about celebrities who name their kids Blanket, Pilot Inspector and Audio Science?

    Posted by Lorac | March 18, 2008, 11:50 pm
  193. Hi Everyone,
    This is a great discussion even though it isn’t factual. But the great news is that a guy name Booker T. Jone, III has created a Website that can take any name and give it a “positive” meaning. It is unreal. Look below. I took the name “ShaNayNay” and ran it through his system and look what it printed out. You can go to this site: http://www.speacher.com and click on the “Create Name Positivity” button and type your name in the RE box then click on the first button below the RED box called “Positivity” and you can find out what your name means.

    Booker call all the names that you guys have been calling “Crazy”, Stupid, Weird… He calls them “HipNoCentric”. He said they are “HipNoCentric” because they are unique, “Hip” but they usually don’t have a meaning so he says they have “No Center” or No Core meaning. Using his system ANY name can have a meaning. Try it out.

    Richard

    Shanaynay
    S incere and on the up and up
    H opeful and encouraging
    A lways looking to self-improve
    N oble and true
    A dvocate and a champion of noble causes
    Y es it’s a fact. I am warmhearted and kind
    N oble and honest
    A ction-oriented and knows how to get results
    Y es it’s a fact. I love building friendships

    Posted by Richard | March 19, 2008, 4:41 am
  194. None of you must read (except laughing hard and Richard..points to you)…THERE WAS NO RULING….It’s merely a conversation starter….did everyone miss where it said Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think.

    Posted by Mo | March 19, 2008, 10:28 am
  195. It has been said if you want to hide something from black people put it in a book because they won’t read. At the bottom of the article it clearly states that this article is satire and was written to make people think. Although it was emailed to me without that last line I was positive it was not a real article.

    Posted by Candace Reese | March 19, 2008, 11:15 am
  196. Listen-I agree in principle that the name thing has gone to far-but lets look at the big picture. What else will they try to pass a law on that won’t allow African Americans to do something. It’s a way to slowly strip our rights. It can be crazy the way people name their children but don’t just single African Americans. Some of the names that children have are African in origin, Nigerian, and different other countries. If you can’t pronounce it-ask for the pronunciation. If it bothers the child-when they get older they can change their name (w/o paying to do it). This is a bit much and it should lead to rebellion from most people, who is he going to attack next, Mexicans, Indians, French-give me a break.
    Hello-look at his last name-would he be offended if someone wanted to name their child with his last name. Please tell me why 3 white people have to approve-doesn’t that sound like slavery to you. I would like to keep my rights if you don’t mind-so if I choose to name my child Clorox or BillyBob that’s my free choice to make. If they don’t like it-they can change it. Part of the reason why people try to give unique names is due to identity theft. The more unique the name the harder it is to get it messed up with somebody else’s. How many Barbaras, Brendas, etc. are there and when you go to the bank, etc, they have screwed your account up with someone else with a similar name. Sometimes there is a method to the madness. This however is openly prejudice, unconstitutional and a serious infringement upon a persons rights. WAKE UP people.

    Posted by Shea | March 19, 2008, 11:44 am
  197. MY PEOPLE…DO YOU KNOW WHAT A SATIRE IS????????????? a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn
    2 : trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly
    THERE IS NO REAL JUDGE CABRERA…HE’S MAKING A POINT ON THE MISUSE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. GOD tells us there is POWER in a name, dont just make something up. If you want to be unique-research.

    Posted by STEPHEN | March 19, 2008, 1:11 pm
  198. It’s funny to see people reacting so violently to a satire. It clearly does it’s job, though. It makes you think. :) Good stuff!

    Posted by Nathan V | March 19, 2008, 2:30 pm
  199. Too Funny!!

    Posted by Angel | March 19, 2008, 2:33 pm
  200. Although I’m really hoping this “judgement” didn’t really take place, I can’t dispute the validity of the argument. I have heard some complicated names in my time. One little girl I met was named Muta-kabeerah. Also I’m a teacher and had to call the name “Starshema” daily without laughing. Another student started the school year named Mufasa. You are NOT THE LION KING, okay?? But however ridiculous the names are, it the right that our freedom has afforded us. I used mine to go to college; some use theirs to name their child Supercalifragilistic-espialidocia. If people started losing the right to name their own children, whose to say what other rights will be taken eventually?

    Posted by Diane - African American | March 19, 2008, 4:18 pm
  201. I think many of you missed this part

    “This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think”

    Instead of laughing at the ridiculousness of the article and recognizing that a lot of these made up names are painful to everyone involved you chose to type a response in fury.

    It was a joke people and I must say I thought it was HILARIOUS.

    Furthermore, some of your comments are pretty darn funny too because…well, you actually thought this was real.

    LMBO.

    all the best, Sunshine

    Posted by Sunshine (Megan) | March 19, 2008, 5:52 pm
  202. Great article, it was humorous and definitely sparked some great discussion. The thing that is most curious to me though, is how many people took the article as fact, instead of realizing it was satire. Are we so gullible that we easily believe that a ‘ruling’ of this magnitude would only be reported in The People’s News? Things that make you go hmmmm . . .

    Posted by GraceMD | March 19, 2008, 5:54 pm
  203. You know i am glad that this is a spoofs page…Because it did make me think about what was going on when I have read the Story thought it was real. But then It wasn’t … I just hope It will make our Black Folk’s think about what they are doing to their children. and How they are Affecting their lives with the names that they gfive them. I fill bad for those kid’s right now that are being call such Rediculous Names that some folk’s just can’t even pronounce. And It is getting worse. I hope that they will think about what they are doing, and making these names more normal as possible. Not something that they can’t even pronounce or even spell. It’s sad to say that this has to happen for those are dealing with the name they are being called today…

    It hoope that this don’t upset those that haven’t even read the whole article think that this is something bad and for real when it’s not. Cause you also have to think about it. If this was something real then all hell would have broke loss along time ago.. Well I don’t know I just thought it was funny to me when I have read some of the other’s comment’s that thought that this was real or not. They can’t even tell some one something. When they think that something like this is even true.

    Well I hope this made you black’s think about what you are doing. With those babies that you are having by some men that don’t even want you you foolish girls. Live and remember dont’ get ghetto crazy on something that is not even true. I love to type lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

    Posted by Malasia Phaleesha Harrison | March 19, 2008, 6:10 pm
  204. Lol, great blog. I am personally amazed of the creativity of our black women. It takes skills to sit there and create a name only a mother can say. It’s like breaking a code with some of them. Our black women that reside in poverty conditions name their children after that they consider is unique and beautiful. That is why so many children are named after cars and alcohol. They feel that Ashley, Aaron and Diana are too old and does not have any appeal. There was a time that your name had a story or meaning behind it. I have notice that people in the workforce that hold mid level or senior level positions with unique names do feel they have to put out twice as hard or have a harder outershell in regards to their work ethic because people do first judge by your name without knowing you. Even though the story is not real, we cannot down our fellow sisters for how they express themselves. Besides, there are no name books in their local corner or grocery stores.

    Posted by CHAR | March 20, 2008, 10:56 am
  205. Ummm I had to stop reading the responses. People do realize this was satire? Something done in jest?

    As a Black girl named Jennifer, I had my name issues while growing up, after having grown up…I thank my parents EVERY DAY!

    Posted by Jei | March 20, 2008, 11:36 am
  206. Thank you for sparking discussion. I am grateful to have a resume friendly first and last name. Thank you mama. Originality is beautiful when not over-done. My ‘rents compromised by giving me a common first name and a middle name (amaris) that has actual meaning. It’s not that difficult to pronounce and has true meaning. I am blessed because of their foresight. They recognized that yes, there were (and still are) simple minded people that would possibly judge their children based on the names on our birth certificates. They were strong enough to not only be orginal in naming us but conscious of the world we happen to live in and all its fallicies.

    Posted by Ashley Amaris | March 20, 2008, 11:42 am
  207. “I have a niece who’s six. I’m embarrassed to say I can’t even pronounce her name,” said Vest, a professor at Princeton University. “Whenever I want to talk to her, I just wait until she looks at me and then I wave her over.”

    *Dies from laughter*

    Posted by Anonymiss | March 20, 2008, 11:46 am
  208. I agree that some of the names are outlandish, but I don’t agree that I should be stripped of the right to name my child, especially if I am responsible enough to give them a name with meaning not just some “ghetto” terminology.

    Posted by Nicole Butler | March 20, 2008, 12:01 pm
  209. This article reminds me of the scene in “Roots” when a young “Kunta Kinte” was whipped and force to change his name to “Toby”. I agree that some names of African American children and difficult to pronounce, however a judge or a panel of white people shouldn’t be given the right to name a child that is of African decent. I understand that some the names of some children are getting more challenging, but taking a right from a parent is going over board. Furthermore to suggest that African American men are absent from their children lives is a broad and general statement. Furthermore this statement demonstrates the judge’s ignorance and lack of culture awareness. I serve a God of all nations and we are his children. What is a good Christian name???

    Posted by Aki | March 20, 2008, 12:22 pm
  210. This ruling is offensive but it does more good then harm. This law won’t hold up for long but it would be nice to see a panel of 3 people (black/white/any color), with some kind of social services background, to offer advice to ANY mother who proposes to name her child something that is grammatically or phonetically improper (unless of course there are some meaningful or non English origins).
    And, statistically, he is correct to say that many black men are not present at birth. If it wasn’t true it wouldn’t sting but his commentary is neither proactive nor constructive in this issue and uncalled for.

    If you don’t like my commentary or you think I’m wrong feel free to send me an email and let me know where I need to get up to speed. Thanks.
    rndeal123@gmail.com

    Posted by Black Investment Banker (Rod) | March 20, 2008, 12:34 pm
  211. So many mixed emotions . . . I got angry at first but as I continued to read it became humorous. As I continued to read, my heart went out to ‘my peeps’ and I thought ‘are we really this bad at naming our children?’. I thought ‘this must be a joke’. I was relieved to find that it really was a joke. Cute – but not too funny – LOL!

    Posted by Theresa | March 20, 2008, 1:33 pm
  212. I have a niece who’s six. I’m embarrassed to say I can’t even pronounce her name,” said Vest, a professor at Princeton University. “Whenever I want to talk to her, I just wait until she looks at me and then I wave her over.”

    *Dies from laughter became Jesus and rose from the dead only to die one more time of laughter*

    Seriously, I think enough is enough! I understand mothers want to be creative, unique and cultural, but come on people….think about the kids. I am a mixed black person (spanish). Mother is black and I have an Italian name with a horrific spelling. It looks Russian or Polish, but that’s just to tell you how many freaking “Z’s” are in my name. I won’t reveal my real name for personal reasons. Growing up in the early 80’s for me was torture. Kids picked fun at my name, my appearance (being mixed in an all black urban school) and teachers even picked fun at me. Grant it, I had Shaniqua’s and Daytron’s in my classes, but because my name is prounounced like a recognized name and spelled incorrectly, my teachers and even the public in general viewed my parents as ignorant/illiterate and that’s the furthest from the truth. My parents (mother) was following a trend and didn’t think of the long term ramifications. I don’t think many parents think long term when naming their kids these appalling names, but hey, it’s a black thing….AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND!

    P.S. My grandmother did it to my mother and my sister did it to my niece and I just wait for my niece to look at me and wave her over. LOL. Seriously…..the issue is 3 generations deep in my family. Heaven help us!

    Posted by EYNONOMUS TWO | March 20, 2008, 2:48 pm
  213. As an English teacher, I can truly appreciate the need for using satire in written communication. Parents in any culture are the only ones who should have the right to say what they will name their children. There are people from other cultures and countries living in America who bear names that are difficult to pronounce and have very little meaning but we do not criticize and censor them. We just take time to learn the correct pronounciation or shorten it. Every group has something unique…people of African descent living in America have the same right to be different. Comforming to someone else’s ideas of what’s acceptable is not what this country was founded upon. In addition, African American impoverished mothers are a large group that is incessantly overlooked in society, so, if bestowing unique names upon their children is the only way to bring them into the light of society-more power to them!

    Posted by Jenn | March 20, 2008, 3:51 pm
  214. I’m glad someone finally realized that this is a satire and not a real article. I’m glad for the discussion, I was very careful when I chose my children’s names. I wanted them to MEAN something, not just sound cute. I passed a few “cute” names because I didn’t like the meaning. For example, I like the name Caleb, but it means “dog”.
    I remember being told that your children grow up believing whatever you tell them, so if you tell them they are stupid, they will believe it. Therefore, I thought it was important that what I call them every single day, several times a day should be something powerful. My son’s name means Prince of God, and my daughter’s name means Wise Princess.

    Posted by Mimi | March 20, 2008, 6:33 pm
  215. Is this for real or is this someone writing some satire article? This is my first time at you site because some sent me this story and this is so hard to believe although they probably would like to do somethig like this, especially in Detroit, MI.

    Posted by Niki Williams | March 20, 2008, 8:13 pm
  216. Good one. Nice thought provoking satire!

    Posted by pio2u | March 20, 2008, 8:26 pm
  217. I agree that the names have gone to far. Just think your child has to go out into the world with that name and get a job, marry etc. They do not want a stupid name after a female part or a alcoholic drink. But saying that a white women has to decide on the name is WRONG! Why can’t it be a BLACK women with some sense?

    Posted by Toni | March 20, 2008, 9:03 pm
  218. People, remember that this story is satire. It’s not true. However, it gives a lot to think about.

    Posted by Shanna | March 20, 2008, 11:00 pm
  219. I think perhaps it is more disturbing that people can’t recognise satire, even when it is as blindingly obvious as this is.

    What happened to reading literature in school? No voltaire for the discerning student? I suppose not…

    /thumbs up (And most of us at shoutwire agree)

    Posted by lonewolf | March 21, 2008, 2:17 am
  220. I must say that I truly have to agree. Life is so simple, people just make it complex. I have a godson and sometimes I still forget his name. Why can’t they give the child a sumple name and just use the complicated name as a AKA (nickname). You know keep it SIMPLE…..

    Posted by Coolbreeze | March 21, 2008, 8:35 am
  221. Bill Matthews,

    People don’t understand that this article is satire; a JOKE, NOT REAL. You’ll have people around the world uniting to form a revolt!!
    I need my local Wal-Mart — they can’t burn that!

    Posted by Keepin' It Lite | March 21, 2008, 8:54 am
  222. What I find absolutely amazing is that people are actually responding with outraged comments when it clearly states at the bottom that it’s a satire and it’s not true. Based on the fact that people haven’t bothered to read this speaks volumes for what the article is speaking about and it is a lack of education and a lack of understanding. However I must admit I was amused by this article because I myself get tired of the outrageous names Black people name their children. I used to work in the probation department and I would just shake my head everytime I saw some of these names that I couldn’t pronounce but everyone in the department would know that it was someone Black. As a black woman I was consistantly asked how to pronounce some of these names as though, just by being black I automatically knew how to say the name. I have a cousin and his wife who named all of their 5 children difficult names, so I just enter a room and say “hi” because Lord knows I don’t know how to say them and I certainly don’t remember them. But they are a perfect example of black people lacking an education and being comfortable with not having one. So this article is very true of how stupid some of these names can be especially when a parent doesn’t even know how to spell and just makes up the spelling and then pretend that’s exactly how they wanted it to be spelled instead of admitting they didn’t know how to spell it.

    Posted by Katrina | March 21, 2008, 9:07 am
  223. My name is Vivian….am I White or Black…you tell me. My friends name are Shaniqua, Cenquetta, and Bonquisha, are they White or Black….tell me. Do you know?

    From The Peoples News: OK, we’ll play. You are Lucy’s friend from I Love Lucy. Are we close?

    Posted by Vivian | March 21, 2008, 10:42 am
  224. Please read the disclaimer at the bottom of the article. This article is not real!!!! It saddens me that we jump to the defensive about something without reading the entire thing. This is the problem with a lot of people today they read or see some of the contents of the situation, then take off without running shoes. Think!!! Think!!! before you act.

    Posted by Shion | March 21, 2008, 12:00 pm
  225. very interesting piece. i’m glad you added that blurb about the article not being true. now while i celebrate my blackness, i must admit that some of the names we give our children are downright outrageous. there was a time when the names we gave our children had powerful meaning behind them which we hoped would spill into their lives. now i can’t count the number &/or variations of names that represent luxury cars most of us will never afford, alcoholic beverages that we need to stay away, and body parts. so althought this article is just a joke, you all better wake up! a law simply begins with an idea.

    Posted by bunny | March 21, 2008, 12:18 pm
  226. Well….thank God it isn’t true, but I believe parents should take on a more responsible role in naming their children. When I was a medical assistant, I hated to call the kids names out loud because I couldn’t even pronounce them. I consider myself a fairly decent speller, but oh my gosh, some of those names were way beyond reach. For instance, one kid’s name was Shithead. My eyes saw what your eyes see, but that isn’t how you pronounce it.

    I do find this trend to be among younger AA females. The article says that many times the father isn’t active in the child’s life. It should have read that the father isn’t taking an active supportive role in the mother’s pregnancy since the child has yet to be born. However, I also detect some undertones of racism in this article. Even if it is “satire” as stated. Maybe what needs to happen is for some kind of educational component to take place and maybe bring a village of kin together i.e. grandparents, aunts, uncles, (if possible) and engage in healthy dialogue around the naming of the child.

    In many African cultures, besides the sex of the child, the name is one of the most important aspects of the birth. The name reflects how the parents want the child to view themselves as well as how they want the world to view their child. The naming of the child is taken very seriously.

    I believe once we can bring that kind of dialogue to our young mothers while stressing the importance of the name, then we can begin to see some changes. If these soon-to-be mothers want to get back to their “African Roots” as stated in the article, someone should go out and purchase a book of African names and meanings and share them with our girls. What a wonderful gift to give at a baby shower instead of another pink dress. How many baby showers are you familar with that books are given as gifts? Remember, we are talking about young girls who have not a clue, and have no real parenting skills. We can all laugh and joke about these kinds of stories, slap each other five, and shake our heads in agreement, but I would like to end the same way that article did by saying I hope this makes us think. I hope it makes us think in ways that we, as educated adults, can fix this. We fix it by changing the mindsets and behaviors of all parties involved because it is fixable.

    Shiffy

    Posted by Shiffy | March 21, 2008, 12:21 pm
  227. Even though this is satire, we can see that it is a subject that has people talking. I would like to us name our children after those who have had some enfluence in our lives. My wife and I named our daughter after a friend who saved my mother in-laws life. We gave our son an name that most people have never heard of, but he was named after an ethiopian who was responsible for make sure that the founder of the Baha’i Faith and his family were never accused of leaving a town without paying their debts. I would never tell someone what they can do when it comes to naming their child, I would only suggest that name you chose can have an effect. Children can be cruel and they can tease those whoe even have so-called “normal” names, but when one gets into adult life there are a lot of variables that can help or hinder a person just getting a job, an apartment, or even into a college. Just a thought.

    Posted by EW | March 21, 2008, 5:14 pm
  228. I appreciate satire and I did not realize it was satire until the end of the article. I was livid over the “federal judges” audacity to think that his federal jurisdiction extends to the control over the names that Citizens may give their children. I was ready to file a suit. I am glad it was satire and it was very funny after I learned it was a joke.

    Posted by Ron | March 21, 2008, 6:47 pm
  229. I’m happy to see that this is a joke. For a minute, I thought we were regressing back to slavery.
    “Your names is Toby!”
    Although I agree some women do get ridiculous when it comes to naming their children, it is still their personal choice and a constitutional right.

    Posted by Aries | March 23, 2008, 9:08 am
  230. this is so stupid, you actually think this is real lol??? as much of a good idea it is, this could never happen. “three white people must agree to it first.” wtf? come on, thats bringing back racism lol… in all honestly, you can not possibly think this is for real…

    Posted by Oliver Powell | March 23, 2008, 2:03 pm
  231. I was have a weird day and this totally took me in to another realm. Thanks for the moment of I don’t have a word for it but it was alright.
    Peace
    Gloria
    I have a real name.

    Posted by Gloria Magee | March 23, 2008, 5:23 pm
  232. This article has made it on to Snopes now, which is how I’ve found it… I would just add: if you’re going to choose a name that reflects your heritage, then a little homework is in order. There’s nothing African about T’Shanee’Qua.
    As for the Swahili names… since most slaves were taken from West Africa, and Swahili is an East African language… maybe something from Wolof or Fula would be better-suited. 8)

    Posted by brian t | March 24, 2008, 5:32 am
  233. LOL @ people taking this article seriously.

    Posted by Mr. Charlie | March 24, 2008, 5:39 am
  234. That was perhaps the funniest bit of satire I’ve read in my life!

    However, I am astonished and embarrassed at the reaction of many within the ‘Comments’ who could not tell, by the first hyphenated aside “and yet, give much relief to teachers everywhere”, that the article was a joke. Folks, it is an inside joke! Have we lost the ability to laugh at ourselves, at one of the more comical aspects of our culture? Or have we developed such an inferiority complex that any mere mention of unjust treatment blinds us to all context or power of reason?

    How could anyone who read the list of names “Daryl, Q’Antity, Uhlleejsha, Cray-Ig, Fellisittee, Tay’Sh’awn and Day’Shawndra” have thought this article was was a true news story? Q’ANTITY??? That was laugh-out-loud funny!!!

    Not sure if ‘Bill Matthews’ is a pen name — but Bill, this article is gem classic and I hope you have many more of such within you. Your humor gave some of us a great belly laugh while exposing an underlying unease and disquiet in our brothers and sisters. Hopefully and prayerfully that exposure spurs them towards change.

    Posted by Amir | March 24, 2008, 10:32 am
  235. Are you people for real? What part of SATIRE did you not understand?

    Hilarious.

    Posted by Erin | March 24, 2008, 1:57 pm
  236. Hilarious! Satire is a wonderful thing! Too bad so many people read this article and thought it was real.

    I must argue, however, that naming one’s children is not a Constitutional right. No where in the Constitution are citizens expressly given the right to name their children–life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness–but NOT “name your children”.

    What is the U.S. coming to? People don’t know the Constitution, can’t recognize satire, and don’t read Voltaire?

    Oh, wow–what a great name for a baby– Vol’Tair E!

    ROFL

    Posted by anon | March 24, 2008, 3:53 pm
  237. All I have to say is: Thank god for my grandmother who named me Theresa.

    Posted by Theresa | March 25, 2008, 12:00 pm
  238. ROFL!!! I agree!!!!

    Posted by lena | March 25, 2008, 12:45 pm
  239. Did some of this people read the last words from this article? It was a SATIRE!
    Anyway, congrats to those who write it, unfortunatelly it is true. I propose a law : every child should choose a name for itself when he/she is 18.

    Posted by Miki | March 25, 2008, 4:08 pm
  240. Supposedly, this article is ficticious but it deserves a comment. A name doesn’t make or deternine what the child will be. Some teachers can’t pronounce common names. Come on everybody you know kids, they will find anything to make fun of other kids with besides their name. They talk about each others hair, clothes, shoes, backpacks, etc. Mind your business and teach your kid to respect everyone and you should too. Condelezza is a unique name, and look at her in the White House with her extremly intelligeint self!

    Posted by Queen28 | March 25, 2008, 4:18 pm
  241. This is kinda funny. A lil racist, but funny. Yes, I agree, this goes back to the issue of Black people wanting to 1) reconnect with their roots, 2) naming their kids with a combination of family names (which people do all over the world) and 3) str8t ignorance.

    Is it wrong? It’s not for us to judge. But we live in a society that does.

    True: Naming your kid in a way that expresses more of your creativity and less consideration for their image in the world is downright selfish. If you kid is a straight-A student, gets a 1500 on the SATs and is named “Bonqueeshi Ab’Normalia Clitoria Allen,” their name will proceed any of their merits and many people will unfairly judge him/her.

    True: Some black women do go overboard with the apostrophes. Qui’Nisha, Bon’Quisha, and De’Andreana – come on, folks. If you’re going to name the kid Quinisha, why throw salt in the wound and make it hard for her to spell her own name by adding apostrophes?????????

    True, but sad: Black people have to assimilate up to their elbows. I’m really lucky that I have a pretty generic name. Russian roots. Two syllables. No apostrophes. I plan on doing the same for my kids with I have them. Something classic and strong.

    The sad reality is, if my name were Bonquisha or Shameeka, it’d be pretty obvious that I was African American on paper and as much as we don’t want to admit it, people are judged for how they look on paper. I want my kid to have a fair chance in the world and be judged by their merit and integrity, not by their skin color or perceived ethnicity because I was “creative” when I gave birth to them.

    False: This article. Relax, people. The Blogger is making a point.

    P.S. The author should note that a Hispanic judge may not be the one to throw the first stone, especially considering Latino names like Xochitl, Yasmari and Xiomara, which are used among Hispanic Americans in the U.S. In fact, many cultures come up with creative names – and while they immigrate to the U.S., we don’t ask THEM to change them. Just something to think about. Long live creativity – to an extent….LOL.

    Posted by ATLBlueBaby | March 25, 2008, 7:36 pm
  242. Okay—I missed the note at the bottom. I normally don’t read satire articles—because I find that, sometimes, they are not far enough from the truth to be humorous.

    I will be more careful when I get links sent to me in the future.

    I am relieved that this was not real.

    Posted by Aprilshowersmay | March 26, 2008, 3:00 am
  243. Of course this is a JOKE. Like all good jokes it is non-discriminatory – it makes fun of black mothers, but also makes fun of white teachers. It would be pretty outrageous if it were for real, but it’s not, so enjoy it.

    Posted by Eric | March 26, 2008, 6:00 am
  244. It is truly an interesting story for (2) reasons.
    I have a “unique” name actually one of a kind and how my mother came up with it was even stranger but it works for me. my three children, Semaj- James backwards, Semariya and Syair are all names that I came up with. my children love their names and i have never had a teacher complain. Second of all why is it that (3) white people are going to be the deciding factor as to what we name our children? Why not add a black/asian/hispanic etc…. to help decide. or how about our teachers expand their vocabulary and learn how to pronounce these names. i admit that they can be some strange ones like ABC (pronounced AH-Bie-CEE) but then you have some that are wonderful and strong like my children. We can not allow the government to dictate what we name our children, then they’ll tell us when we can have children, what school they can attend, oh i forgot the are already doing that too.

    Posted by Sonandra | March 26, 2008, 10:22 am
  245. STOP . . . and realize that this is a satire, not true at all, written by an idiot perhaps, yet it speaks to a very real issue, no matter who wrote it. You can hate the messenger, but indeed internalize the message.

    Black people wouldn’t feel the need to create names if, centuries ago, their native names were not stripped from them, if books for reading were not denied them, if equal rights and justice were not stolen from them.

    What’s in a name? What’s in a name? When you’re Black in America . . . the reality of SLAVERY is in a name .

    It’s psychological, and though some of us have managed to break free of the chains, millions of our brothers and sisters, especially many of our youth, will not.

    Although the names are often unfounded, we should try educating our youth. I just gave birth to a baby 9 days ago in the state of Virginia. In all of the NEW MOTHER literature that I received from the state, I didn’t see one BABY NAMES list anywhere . . . so what are these kids to do when they show up uneducated, financially undone, and unprepared for parenthood?

    Give them some hope. Give them some help. Give them a darn BABY NAMES list and their meanings . . . from the clinic to the labor and delivery room!

    There are classes on everything else. Social, health and other community organizations should begin offering the class, NAMING YOUR BABY 101! We need to get back to giving our children names of substance and strength, not white or European names, but names that traditionally, ethnically, and/or spiritually have meaning and significance.

    Posted by Latorial | March 26, 2008, 11:42 am
  246. Is this a test??

    From The Peoples News: Yes, it is only a test. If it was an actual emergency, you would have been asked to tune into the Emergency Broadcast System.

    Posted by RNbyDay | March 26, 2008, 2:29 pm
  247. Creative, new African-American names don’t bother me. I am more bugged by modern variant spellings of traditional first names that endured for generations until the 1950s. e.g. Shawn for Sean, Marsha for Marcia, Dwayne for Duane, Steven for Stephen, Jeffrey for Geoffrey, Teresa for Theresa. I also roll my eyes at the current fashion of using common surnames as a child’s first name. e.g. Connor, Morgan, Taylor. How many girls in America are going to marry into names like Morgan Morgan, Taylor Taylor, or worse; Morgan Taylor. It sounds the brand name of a discount box of wine.

    Posted by Curmudgeon | March 26, 2008, 3:40 pm
  248. This story is false. After search several court web site and Federal site, there isn’t a Judge Ryan Cabrera. This whole story is full of it, written by Bill Matthews to get this started and black people angry. Go to snopes.com or here is the link http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/blacknames.asp for me info about this FALSE Story. WordPress should FIRE or NOT accept article from Bill Matthews, because this could come back on them.

    The Peoples News responds: Thank you, Sherlock Holmes. You’re right. The story’s not true. None of the stories on the blog are. But it would have been easier to figure that out by reading the disclaimer at the bottom of the stories. Nevertheless, thanks for spending so much time investigating our fine work.

    Posted by Nik | March 27, 2008, 11:16 am
  249. I am going to comment to the spirit of the article. Obviously this was satire (there is a disclaimer at the end of the article). But even before reading this version, and my reaction to the one I received via email, I knew this was a joke, but there is some sad truth to it.

    While I am all for the right to name your child, and even understand that there is a certain empowerment that comes with this creating a culture that defines themselves and name themselves, even then there is a line that goes past the ridicules. Come one people… We have all come across someone who has named their child some made up name that left us scratching our heads. Weather it is a little girl named after champagne (or is named Champagne) or a toddler boy named Jigga where does it stop. I’ve cringed when my clients start naming off their children… Q’Finnatie, Marquedia, De Naynay. I am like, “I am sorry, I need their birth names.”

    There was a time when Devonte was considered ghetto, but that has been come common place and acceptable now. I guess what I am saying I am on the fence. I will continue to roll my eyes and have “that so ghetto” sigh when I hear certain names, but at the same time I would never try to persuade someone from not naming their child however they would like. I just hope that I would never discriminate against someone just because their name is Jay’q’cahn.

    Posted by Charmane | March 27, 2008, 1:02 pm
  250. OK, yes, this is a joke!!
    But it did make me think.
    The problem I have with some of these “weird names” is that they don’t mean anything, in English or in any other language, and don’t have any history or significance. They are just Babble.

    Posted by Dana | March 28, 2008, 8:32 am
  251. I am so glad that I learned how to read an article from the beginning to the end because I got upset at some of the things stated, but when I got to the end and found that it wasn’t true, I was relieved. I do think a parent has the right to name their children whatever they want to. Some people do take it a little too far.

    Posted by Trayse | March 28, 2008, 10:55 am
  252. This is hilarious! :-D Only if, right…
    As a Black woman I think Black parents need to be more responsible in naming their kids. All things should be considered. You don’t want to set them up for failure and agony in secondary school and other childhood social settings. And you definitely have to think about their resumes and college applications. Maybe they’ll be chosen (token/affirmative action) or disgarded before they even have a chance to prove themselves just because of their name. My sister was hit with a double ridiculous name, beginning with a ‘Q’ and ending in ‘ishia’. It’s like ten letters in between. :-D My parents got some sense finally and tried to get it changed when she was 10-years-old but the cost was more then they could afford at the time so she goes through life simply as Mrs Q, at almost 30 years of age. Some people need to remember not to be selfish when naming there kids because after the measley 18 years they spend at home they are off to tackle the world on the own. And if nothing else they only have their name and what’s in a name if they absolutely hate it and no one can pronounce it. Thanks for the laugh. :)

    Posted by Raquel | March 28, 2008, 3:16 pm
  253. I was told as a child that I was named after my grandfather and that I should be proud of it. I am!

    I can not pronounce half the names of the young people I encounter, However I am proud that our young people are giving their children African names or names other than the names our former owners put on us!

    Posted by Pelton Stewart | March 29, 2008, 11:55 pm
  254. Hie hie hie – I find it all extremely amusing!!!

    I’m South African & in our society the names that feature are : Patience, Petunia, Prescious, Princess, Progress & Prosper – & that’s just the P’s!

    Posted by LoretteF. | March 31, 2008, 8:47 am
  255. I’m glad this was meant to be satire. For a minute I thought I woke up in Communist China. However, I do agree that these names are making me crazy as well. Most of them are not Africian, they’re totally made up and not made up well. Black people are starting to look ridiculous — not proud of our heritage. Africian names mean something. The names that are now coming down the pike are just bizarre. Black folks, let’s get back to the real deal. We don’t have to call our kids Sally and George, but at least name our kids something that means something.

    Posted by Mae | March 31, 2008, 9:52 am
  256. Kudos to the author of this satirical piece of commentary. Jeers to the people that thought this was an actual article or case because they didn’t read the disclaimer @ the end of the commentary piece… It’s borderline outta hand, but it brings up some good points and makes you think, which I think should be every bloggers motivation for writing.

    In the materialistic world we live in, where people judge people from how they dress, how they speak, how they look, and what their name says on the resume there are some parents doing their kids a disservice to them when they become of age. Some of these kids names might as well be spelled “don’t hire me” not because I’m incapable but based off appearances I don’t fit into your company.

    Anyway, I could and should go on about the topic, but I don’t have the time. I just thought it was a good topic for discussion….

    Posted by Jimmy | March 31, 2008, 11:53 am
  257. When I read this article I laughed so hard. As a teacher, you have no idea how hard it is to pronounce first names correctly. I try the first time and if I say it wrong I do apologize and ask for the correct pronunciation. Eventually I get it right but sometimes it takes awhile. My students have a problem with my Italian last name and eventually they get that right too. Keep the satire coming…..

    Posted by Monica | March 31, 2008, 2:03 pm
  258. Wonderful article to make you think. Shocked to see so many people react because they did not actually read the whole article and the disclaimer that this is satire…good satire about a real life issue nonetheless!

    Posted by Regina | March 31, 2008, 4:22 pm
  259. Monica, I am right there with you. I too, am a teacher, and I always butcher at least 3 names the first day of school. Fortunately for me, my name is boring and easy for them to pronounce. But where I used to teach I had a great deal of Vietnamese students, and wow I ruined those poor kids names! Sometimes it took me the whole year to them right.

    Posted by Jeff | March 31, 2008, 11:25 pm
  260. Someone just forwarded this article to me…not the link, but the article. I don’t know what funnier – this article, or the way it’s spreading like wildfire as truth. Actually, the latter is sad…

    Posted by Tazzee | April 1, 2008, 10:19 am
  261. Many of the reactions to this “story” are the reasons urban legends, chain letters, and hoaxes survive, and scams succeed . It is not ignorance or emotional over-reaction. It is because people don’t read COMPLETELY AND they don’t check the validity of what they are reading.

    Stories like this are written to SEEM true, but there are tell-tale signs of untruth in all of them and those are easy to learn. This is the information age. Checking out stories doesn’t take that long, doesn’t cost a dime, and reduces junk mail. Plus this knowledge helps you protect yourself, your sanity, AND your computer. Read carefully and read everything, don’t skim! This one clearly stated that it was a joke. DUH!

    This site is only one of at least four that deal with hoaxes, internet/email lies, scams, and other junk. They also tell you what’s true or part-true. Find the other sites and use them all. The information there is amazing.

    One last point: some people use humor or shock to make us think about/laugh at/wake up to our faults in whatever forms those faults take. Mark Twain and Bill Cosby were experts at it. Humor and shock certainly beat a bloody revolution or an annoying and angry soap-box dissertation… don’t you think?

    Posted by Sparks-Chellee | April 1, 2008, 12:17 pm
  262. This article is very funny. I knew that it was fake from when I first started reading it. I know that I have a difficult name to pronounce and that sometimes mothers do get a little out of control at times, but some you people are taking this to serious with your comments. If you go back a read the end it clearly states that this is a satire article. It was made up, not real. So lighten up and laugh a little.

    Posted by Juannicia | April 1, 2008, 7:23 pm
  263. Look… I am a BLACK AMERICAN WOMAN…named Rebecca.
    I know this is satire.
    I think it was taken a little far. And I think the people who are commenting may not know what satire means.
    Anyway, while the names are getting pretty bad, none of us have a right to tell anyone what to name their children.

    Some names are thought of, and are simply just weird. For example — I have a new nephew. His name? Eoin. Pronounciation? OWEN. It’s a REAL name; it’s GAELIC. Why she’d give him a Gaelic name when we have NO Irish lineage is beyond me.

    Although it’s a REAL name, you’ll never pronounce it properly right off.

    Anyway, it’s not my business what she named her child. (She’s not an American anyway)

    And it’s not anyone else’s either.

    One day, Those That Matter (contributing members of society) will do their part and name their OWN kids in their OWN household names that MEAN SOMETHING.

    That’s my main issue. IF YOU NAME YOUR KID SOMETHING THAT MEANS NOTHING, THAT CHILD WILL TURN OUT TO BE NOTHING.

    Names are IMPORTANT. I don’t really care what culture they come from, so long as you can truly trace its meaning.

    Posted by Rebecca | April 2, 2008, 3:16 pm
  264. this is HILARIOUS.(and even more – so because people don’t realize it’s a joke) Be careful though, soon they will try to take even this right away from us.

    Posted by Sham | April 2, 2008, 3:21 pm
  265. Yes, this is satire BUT its hilarious because we relate to it so well. These names have become outrageously silly. I thought Shiniqua and La’Precious were bad until I actually saw the nameD’teti, in print. (how do you say that? duh- titty?)
    I think a great follow up article would be the outlawing of WHITE people from naming their children after places on the map! How many Montanas, Cheyannes, Dakotas, Austins, and Asias do we really need? These white people are getting out of control with their “map/name fetish”! Whats next? Barbados? Reyjavik? Kabbul? Seriously people little Ja-nay-nay’niqua and Spokane could be playmates.

    Posted by Andrew | April 3, 2008, 7:13 am
  266. Even though my name is Sarah and yes I am a young black women(well just 17)…I have to defend my fellow African American woman…

    I know this is totally fake and was made to open up some eyes, but it should have been written a different way because its seems extremely racist. Some black mothers do name there children crazy names, but thats there problem and there business and its between that mother and God…and for those that agree with this article…name your child what you want but dont criticize others for what they name there children…they carried that child for months and they have to take care of it…They have the God given right to name there child whatever the heck they want to name it…I was blessed with the plain name Sarah…but sometimes I wish I had a unique name because when I went to a predominatly white school I was tired of my name being called 10 times in the same class…Geesh it gets annoying…and I have friends with weird crazy names but I take my time to learn how to pronounce the names and then I move on in life. Ive been asked plenty of times why my name is Sarah, because it seemed so foreign and WHITE to my new predominatly black school.

    Teachers…do your job and teach…dont worry about there names…I’m sure the kid knows how to pronounce it…they can teach you how if its that difficult…then move on and teach them…crazy name or not…all I really want to say is to those who have a problem with wacky names given by Blacks, Hispanics, Chinese, Japanese, Africans, Indians, Eskimos, and WHITES(because they have some crazy names too)…GET A FREAKING LIFE AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!! Thats not your name so dont worry about it! Period point blank…Theres already too much drama in this world as is…Dont create more…PLEASE!!! Its called culture and if America is a melting pot then its going to be full of different cultures which means different names…

    Oh and then 3 white people approving of my childs name…GET REAL!!! This would have been a good APRIL FOOLS JOKE!!!

    See ya!

    Posted by Sarah | April 3, 2008, 5:35 pm
  267. I’ve enjoyed reading through these comments. To Curmudgeon I would like to say that my name is spelled Marsha because my grandfather was Marshall and I was named after him. As for
    the possibility of marrying & becoming “Morgan Morgan” or such, there was a wedding announcement in our local paper where a young woman did exactly that: Shannon married Mr. Shannon and became “Shannon Shannon”!

    We have a grandson named Kamren – his Texas mother spelled it the way they pronounce it “down there” and used a K because all 3 of her boys’ names start with K. (Kyle, Kamren & Kristopher.)

    I usually read through the names of the new babies born here and am amazed at some of the concoctions these mothers come up with. But when I see some of the mothers’ names and the names of the children my grandson goes to school with, it’s no wonder the names get stranger as the generations come and go!

    Incidentally, I do not believe that the “odd” names are particular to any race or nationality. No matter who the parents are, they all need to think seriously about the ramifications of the names they choose for their babies before they put the names on the birth certificate.

    Posted by Marsha | April 4, 2008, 10:21 am
  268. It is getting out of hand. When you name your child just think what would look presentable on a resume. Mr. O’connoer is going to push that resume to the side and into the garbage the momnt he sees it , and even more so if he can’t pronounce. COme on wake up black people.

    Posted by Tonja M. Harris | April 4, 2008, 10:36 pm
  269. First and foremost, this story isn’t real, but this satire does make a valid point in that every black woman should think about what they should name their children. And it takes a village, so if you are someone’s family member and they are having a baby, you need to make sure they name their child adequately. Black women in the projects, in the GHETTO, on section 8, taking hand outs from the gov’ment, welfared-out, living with rats and roaches….name their children these outrageous and outlandish names. I am not talking about a unique African American name, such as names that derive specifically from Africa. Names that are fruitful…names that uphold special meaning (just do a search on “African Baby Names” and you’ll find these beautiful names). These names get JOBS!!! BOTTOM LINE!!!!

    I am wholeheartedly speaking of ridiculous names such as the names listed like, Kquita, D’Quan, Q’Antity, Uhlleejsha, Cray-Ig, Tay’Sh’awn and Day’Shawndra, Shaneekwa, Laqueesha, or any venereal disease (any disease period), or any name of a liquor, or any name of a car, or any name spelled incorrectly (but then have the parent say the incorrect letter is silent), or food, or part of the body…I mean this is getting out of control. AND Just because the spelling changes (because the parent thinks they are so creative), the meaning is still the same (i.e. Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Alize, Hpnotiq).

    Word of advice…for the last 11 years, I’ve worked for many top Fortune 500 companies and not once did I see any of these names listed in the company phone directory….AND I DID A LOT OF CHECKING OVER THE YEARS JUST TO PROVE THIS POINT!

    ANYONE WITH THESE NAMES WILL NOT GET HIRED 99% OF THE TIME BY ANY REPUTABLE COMPANY!!!! THAT’S JUST THE TRUTH BECAUSE MORE WHITES ARE ON THE TOP, OWN MORE COMPANIES, CALL THE SHOTS….than black people. It’s a shame, but to be successful, you have to be aware of this information. THESE COMPANIES WILL HIRE ANY WHITE PERSON OVER A BLACK PERSON ANY DAY because this world is still racist. We all know our numbers are small compared to theirs…so we as black people need to WAKE UP! You can network all you want with these crazy names and will find that it’s not about who you know….it’s about what color is reflected in your name before you have a chance to talk about the good you’ve done. Give yourself a chance and your kids a chance….let these companies take a look at your resume fair and square and see the accomplishments before they look at the name and put the resume in the trash.

    Posted by Black, Educated Women | April 5, 2008, 6:34 am
  270. I was about to get on my soapbox and say it has gotten out of hand but how can any American not have the the right to name their child what they want.
    Nonetheless, I absolutely love this blog. Please consider adding it to Top Sista Sites (topsistasites.gotop100.com) and please email me back regarding reprinting some of these humorous writings for more exposure to this great blog.

    Posted by Nicole | April 6, 2008, 6:24 pm
  271. I would have to agree that some of the names that young african american women are naming their children have gotten out of hand, but NO ONE has the right to tell me or anyone else what to name my child… Especially a caucasian.

    I have 4 children whose names are Kevin Omar, Jeli’sa Raye, Niquia Marie and Hildred De’Von. I am proud of the names i gave my children and they are proud of their names as well. African American names are free…and they show our individuality

    Posted by la tanya | April 8, 2008, 10:10 pm
  272. I am a mother of two girls and I have a stepson. My husband and I took it upon ourselves to name our girls in respect to what we want society to see them as respectable young women. Erin and Paris, in my opinion will be able to go through school, graduate from college, and get a real job without someone using a stereotype by looking at their first or last name. We made this conscious decision because my stepson has to deal with his name for the rest of his life. Between his siblings (by his mother) and himseld they have a lifelong journey of correcting and educating others on how to pronouce and spell their names correctly. And also, would he ever get a fair chance in society for anything that life throughs at him. Let me know what you think? My stepson is Kyuntya, his sister is Kyunykya, his brother is Kyundrea. Now, we have tried and pleaded with his mother to atleast change his name to Keontae or Keonte’ or Kionte’ or even Kevin. But hey, how am I to complain and say that some of these mom’s have lost their everlasting mind. They think it is cute, but is stupid and very bad parenting. You may know how to spell your kids name but don’t get upset when someone mispells it or judge you based on your name. I agree with the ruling based on the outcome a name has on the children. But it’s not only black low income females but also all races and income brackets. Kevin is now Kevyn, Jason is now Jasen, Paris is now Pearis, Monica is now Monyka. Come on people, think before you do things.

    Posted by Malloy | April 9, 2008, 11:05 am
  273. This is the dumbest thing I have heard. While I agree some people (Black AND white) give their children ridiculous names, there is no way I would allow a white person, a Black, Latino, Asian or anyone else tell me what I could name my child. The fact that this “judge” is doing this is reminiscent of Jim Crow and slavery, just not as physically binding. As a Black woman, as a woman, I am truly offended. And yes I have a child. And if you are wondering, her name is Maria. . .

    Posted by Angelia | April 9, 2008, 12:31 pm
  274. Now I feel like a big fool for not reading all the way to the end! Thanks for the lesson and the laugh folks!
    ha-ha-ha!

    Posted by Angelia | April 9, 2008, 12:43 pm
  275. I agree some names are a little far fetched and that is including Celebrities kids. But people have the right to freedom of speech under the first amendment. But have anyone look up the definition of her name? We are unique, so do not hate.
    Clitoria (also known as Aparajita in India) is a genus of flowering plants that are insect pollinated. These plants are native to tropical and temperate areas of the Old and New World including southeast Asia, where the flowers are often used as a food dye.
    In animal tests the methanolic extract of Clitoria ternatea (Butterfly pea) roots demonstrated nootropic, anxiolytic, antidepressant, anticonvulsant and antistress activity. The active constituent(s) include Tannins, resins, Starch, Taraxerol & Taraxerone. Clitoria ternatea root extracts are capable of curing hooping cough if taken orally. The extract from the white-flowered plant can cure goiter. Its roots are used in the ayurveda system of Indian medicine.

    Posted by Emery | April 9, 2008, 2:26 pm
  276. I think if the parents want to name them a unusuall name they should. My name is Mike and I get discriminated the same way. I dont think a Judge should have the right to take anything from anyone. They already make a living giving time. How many familys have lost a love one because of this. They should not have that right.

    Posted by Michael McIlwain | April 9, 2008, 10:08 pm
  277. I’m all for a good joke and getting people to think, but you could’ve saved your energy on this one. Just as these supposedly “underprivileged” black people have too much time on their hands, trying to come up with an unpronounceable unique name; you too have too much time on your hands worrying about someone else’s business.

    Yes, “some” people go too far with the unique naming, just as you went too far with this article. I agree with the fact that “some” people go too far with this. But, you need to spend a little more time trying to understand why you think it’s funny or logical to jokingly insist that “three white people must agree to the name” as a logical balancer for proper naming — pehaps there’s an underlying, deep-rooted issue that you need to address within yourself?

    First off, on a sensitive topic such as this, you should put the note “this is a satire” at the top, not the very bottom. This will help set expectations up front and keep people from getting upset.

    Just a suggestion here, but why not take some of this unpent energy and curiosity with the ‘wrongs’ of some people and actually help some of these underprivileged people that you’re making fun of!

    The Peoples News Responds: Since we’re such gifted comedic writers, we really don’t expend a great deal of energy cranking out our witty stories. That gives us plenty of time to use our “unpent” energy helping the very people you say we criticize.

    Posted by Keeping It Real | April 10, 2008, 10:57 am
  278. Black, Educated Women // April 5, 2008 at 6:34 am

    First and foremost, this story isn’t real, but this satire does make a valid point in that every black woman should think about what they should name their children. And it takes a village, so if you are someone’s family member and they are having a baby, you need to make sure they name their child adequately. Black women in the projects, in the GHETTO, on section 8, taking hand outs from the gov’ment, welfared-out, living with rats and roaches….name their children these outrageous and outlandish names. I am not talking about a unique African American name, such as names that derive specifically from Africa. Names that are fruitful…names that uphold special meaning (just do a search on “African Baby Names” and you’ll find these beautiful names). These names get JOBS!!! BOTTOM LINE!!!!

    I am wholeheartedly speaking of ridiculous names such as the names listed like, Kquita, D’Quan, Q’Antity, Uhlleejsha, Cray-Ig, Tay’Sh’awn and Day’Shawndra, Shaneekwa, Laqueesha, or any venereal disease (any disease period), or any name of a liquor, or any name of a car, or any name spelled incorrectly (but then have the parent say the incorrect letter is silent), or food, or part of the body…I mean this is getting out of control. AND Just because the spelling changes (because the parent thinks they are so creative), the meaning is still the same (i.e. Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Alize, Hpnotiq).

    Word of advice…for the last 11 years, I’ve worked for many top Fortune 500 companies and not once did I see any of these names listed in the company phone directory….AND I DID A LOT OF CHECKING OVER THE YEARS JUST TO PROVE THIS POINT!

    ANYONE WITH THESE NAMES WILL NOT GET HIRED 99% OF THE TIME BY ANY REPUTABLE COMPANY!!!! THAT’S JUST THE TRUTH BECAUSE MORE WHITES ARE ON THE TOP, OWN MORE COMPANIES, CALL THE SHOTS….than black people. It’s a shame, but to be successful, you have to be aware of this information. THESE COMPANIES WILL HIRE ANY WHITE PERSON OVER A BLACK PERSON ANY DAY because this world is still racist. We all know our numbers are small compared to theirs…so we as black people need to WAKE UP! You can network all you want with these crazy names and will find that it’s not about who you know….it’s about what color is reflected in your name before you have a chance to talk about the good you’ve done. Give yourself a chance and your kids a chance….let these companies take a look at your resume fair and square and see the accomplishments before they look at the name and put the resume in the trash.

    ^^^^^Well said!

    It’s hilarious sattire and although there is a level of truth to the majority of it. Class consideration is a factor here.

    Both a colleague and myself were discussing the last sentence of the article and couldn’t disagree more with it’s content. We don’t personally know ANY black men who aren’t “involved in their children’s lives”.

    Posted by IShine | April 10, 2008, 3:21 pm
  279. lol. Maybe you guys should add the part about this being SATIRE at the top. It would keep a lot of panties out of bunches. ;-)

    Posted by Bri | April 10, 2008, 4:28 pm
  280. In the words of reggae legend Bob Marley, “Emancipate yourself from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds.” Can we begin to see the uniqueness of blacks as a positive instead of a negative? I applaud the creativity of mothers who strive to choose unique names. I can see the beauty in many of the names they choose.

    Posted by Shauna | April 11, 2008, 11:44 am
  281. First of all people, this is a joke. READ the bottom it is SATIRE. Everything is fake, lol. So being all in a rage just shows your ignorance. I laughed out loud at this story. The names of black children are getting ridiculous, and poverty-stricken urban areas are the places where you will find most of names. I know because I live in these areas. I think children should be given a decent name. And if you think about it, this kind of legislation wouldn’t be passed because a. its racist, b. the NAACP would be all up in their arses, and c. riots and demonstrations.
    ‘Nuff Said
    ~Peace~

    Posted by Voice of Reason | April 12, 2008, 12:36 pm
  282. I hate my name. It lets everyone know that I am black even before they give me a chance. I am a very proud black women who wants employers to see me, not my name. With a name like Kanitria, they first make assumptions of who they think I am or what type of person I am before they get to know me. They assume that I am from the ghetto and uneducated because of the name my parents chose for me, which is not true.
    When I had my son, I wanted to give him a somewhat simple but unique name… Khalin (Kay-lyn). I gave it a unique spelling, but it is becoming a more common name for boys and girls of all ethic backgrounds.
    I do agree with a the early comment of Ishine, “ANYONE WITH THESE NAMES WILL NOT GET HIRED 99% OF THE TIME BY ANY REPUTABLE COMPANY!!!!” I believe we should do as he or she says and “Give yourself a chance and your kids a chance….let these companies take a look at your resume fair and square and see the accomplishments before they look at the name and put the resume in the trash.”

    Posted by Kanitria (Ka-nee-tree-a) | April 14, 2008, 3:21 pm
  283. This was hilarious, and these comments are too! This is a phase and will go away with time, like clothing styles. Remember when folks named their kids after soap opera characters? Remember when everyone’s grandma was named after a flower? Now white women are naming their kids as if they have no gender or so they’re sure to get their butts kicked in school, and black women are naming their kids so that basic phonics do not apply. I understand. I grew up with dogs named after Shakespearean characters, and I am 1/2 West Indian. My name has only three letters, and some folks can’t get that right! My junk mail makes me laugh every day!

    This too, shall pass.

    Posted by Ann | April 14, 2008, 9:03 pm
  284. This is Hilarious!!! Clitoria!!! I love it!!

    Posted by Sasha | April 15, 2008, 11:12 am
  285. Wow, a co-worker told me to read this. I wouldn’t have responded..but..There is a big difference between someone named Starshema and someone named Clitoira. My name is not a body part. I am 29 years old. I graduated in the top 10% of my high school class of 386 with an honors diploma, in a predominately white school. My parents were upper middle class working parents who have provided me the best education. I have a bachelor’s degree in Business and working on my MBA. Every single job that I have had including high school, has been working for companies that would be ranked as Fortune 300 or Fortune 500 companies. Of course, there are people that will stereotype someone because of their name. Just because YOUR NAME IS Diane and you are a sch0ol teacher, does not mean you can walk your ignorant black behind into any school district and not be subject to racism. NO one on this bulletin board is any better than any one. I don’t know about any of you, but I am blessed and highly favored of the Lord. Granted some of these names are getting out of hand. These are not our kids and ultimately not our concern. When was the last time any of you decided to mentor an urban child since you are so concerned their names are so embarrassing. How much longer are we as African American’s going to laugh at and mock one another? We are the biggest reason why African American and Caucasians are laughing at this ridiculous subject because we HATE each other more than any one! Its ridiculous. Over hundreds of postings laughing at mocking people’s names. I love my name. I wouldn’t even take the time in explaining the meaning, African and biblical. I can’t vouch for every Starshema out there, but I have known the meaning of my name since kindergarten. Fortunately, my parents where neither GHETTO or AFRO CENTRIC in the 70’s with the exception of finding the name and meaning in a book given to them by an African professor! BTW..I will let my former WHITE classmate named Rebel from the suburbs of Connecticut know there’s a huge chance she’s being mocked for having a unique name. I am EMPOWERED and INSPIRED..Are yoU?

    Posted by Starshema | April 15, 2008, 3:58 pm
  286. These comments are hilarious…do these people not understand humor, or is their tongue in their cheeks and they’ve gone over my head?

    If so, eight paragraphs seems like an awful lot of work!

    Posted by SJ | April 15, 2008, 5:23 pm
  287. This was a joke- satire, but it does make one think. Yes, some names are more than a bit outlandish ( a lot of time is put into their creation) and some are not so confusing. If anyone is unsure how to pronounce a name- just ask how. It saves time and embarrassment.

    Posted by RCC | April 16, 2008, 5:56 am
  288. All right spelling gurus! Satirically speaking, Yayy judge! Our poor american-born kids walk around attempting to pronounce home-grown names (of no national origin), just made up to fit a hair style or something. Spend some days in their shoes or schools and see the power of these names! It’s even trickling into white society. I sat in a doctor’s office with another brown-skinned girl and one woman with white skin. The nurse came out and called “LaQuita.” I looked at the other sister, nodded and smiled farewell to her. The white woman got up and went in to the office. [Cynthia] and I looked at each other with bug eyes, totally caught off guard. If my mom had named me Champana’qua because she liked Champagne, I’d sue.

    Posted by Naja | April 17, 2008, 10:52 am
  289. Oh, and, get happy people and LAUGH! Laugh at yourself…laugh more, you’ll be less upset at a ‘satirical’ hangout such as this place. Do your serious business as we do in society where we must keep watch on everything, then come here, sit a spell, and give a high 5 (cause you know these crazy people are on target). They say what most think, but are too nice to utter, in fun (and I add, in a spirit of funlove).

    Now, don’t talk about me!

    Posted by Naja | April 17, 2008, 11:03 am
  290. No, being African American myself it shames me with some of the outrageous names that our people name their children. My sister taught in the Public Schools and she stated the majority of the stupids with crazy names could not pronouce or spell their own names.

    Posted by Carolyn | April 17, 2008, 12:50 pm
  291. In the ruling of Judge Cabrera that at least three white people must agree with the name that a black mother decides to give her child is absolutely ridiculous. Why should black mothers have to consult not one white person but three white people for their approval of the name the mother wishes to give her child? I did not know that a name was considered a word, a name is not in the English dictionary, a name distinguishes us from one another. A name enables us to have our own sense of independence. Your name is something that nobody can take away from you. I understand the fact that African-Americans wanted to get in touch with their African roots and yes it may have got to the point where it has become outlandish. A lot of the names that black mothers give their children is a combination of the mother and father put together, or simply one name spelled differently. Take Fellisittee for example where a black mother spells it that way a white mother will spell it Felicity. It is pronounced the same way just spelled differently. African -American mother just want to come up with unique names for their children is that something that should be taken away from them. It took too long to end slavery and have freedom and still with a lot of racism in this world, white people want to take away black mother from naming their own child for the simple fact that most white people can not say the name right.

    Posted by Kenneth Purefoy Jr | April 17, 2008, 1:57 pm
  292. I being a proud African American young male am happy with the unique outrageous names. I find them interesting because it is not some type of name you would hear on a daily bases. Sometimes I wish I had one of those crazy names thats hard to pronounce. But being who I am and where I am from I love my name and would not change it for the world because now I realize its not your name that makes you but how you carry yourself making your name come to life. With that being said I strongly feel people should stop discriminating.

    Posted by Lenny Bembry | April 17, 2008, 3:32 pm
  293. I appreciate people’s need to want to have a unique name, but it has gottan to the point of being outrageous. Most of these children spend their lives either defending their names or correcting people when they are pronounced wrong. Parents need to find ways to give names that make sense and wont scar the children for lives. Its also a hard world out there, and most people will not take the time to learn a name thats is that hard to say or spell. Bottomline we need to start being more conscious about the name we want our children to respond to for their entire life

    Posted by Michael H | April 18, 2008, 9:16 am
  294. I am soooo glad that the strange names have come to a stop. Society will distroy our children and I truly feel relieved that innocent children won’t have to suffer any longer. I have seen the future of child being hindered from getting a good job by the name on the application. People use to ask me who named me such a strange name for a little southern black girl, and I stated “my mother” she watched a white movie actress back in the day by the name Nanette Fabray and she was fasinated by the way she carried herself as a real lady on and off the scene. That is why I am honored that my mother wanted the expectations of me to be high and they are. So mother’s you don’t have to name your little girl “Terriffic” for the to be Great!

    Posted by Nanette Rene' Jenkins | April 18, 2008, 9:46 am
  295. wow…..294 posts and counting….and we STILL refuse to read all the way down to the bottom of the page and see the fine print….what if it said “call 1-800-xxx-xxxx and get the cure to cancer”…..be a lotta dead fools out there that were too busy to finish reading, but had time to compose a response to a non-existent event….

    Posted by run8gene | April 21, 2008, 10:58 pm
  296. I am a women with a name many people would think is unusual. My name is Native American (Seminole to be exact). I am very proud of both my Jamacian and my Seminole heritages. I do agree that people are getting ridiculous with the names they are giving their children, but its not just black women. They are just the repeat offenders. People need to think of their children and how they are affecting their lives for years to come by giving them names that they can’t even pronounce themselves. I believe that these people care nothing for their children and they’re happiness, they only want to be noticed themselves. They say it’s ignorance if you do it once, stupidity if you do it again because you should have known better

    Posted by Tishonnia | April 22, 2008, 11:36 am
  297. I am amazed at how few of the people posting comments read to the end of the article and saw that it is fake.
    It reminded me of the two children born in the late 1970s to a Black mother in Jacksonville, Fla. She named the girl Vimpirilla and the boy Frankenstein.
    I wonder whatever became of them.

    Posted by Jusular Cornpone | April 22, 2008, 1:01 pm
  298. This is a sattire people. Don’t take things so personal. I am not offended and all three of my children’s names start with Q. It is up to the parents to teach children how to spell their name by the time they start kindergarden.

    Posted by Trina | April 23, 2008, 5:30 pm
  299. “No legal authorities were called in to stop Forest Whitaker from naming his child Ocean (or Forest’s mom from naming him Forest), or Gweneth Paltrow from naming her baby Apple, or Ginger Spice from naming her daughter Bluebell, or Courtney Cox from naming her baby CoCo, or Demi & Bruce from naming their daughter Tallulah & their sons Scout & Rumer, or Frank Zappa from naming their kids Moon Unit & Diva Muffin, or the Geldof’s from naming their kids Fifi Trixibelle & Little Pixie. Hell, we could be naming the kids Running Horse and Dancing Bear like Native American parents do.”

    AT THE VERY LEAST, those are all WORDS that currently exist and have MEANING. They aren’t simply an arrangement of sounds that are currently in vogue. A trendy root name with a few prefixes here and endings there.
    BTW
    Quincy and Marguerite are actually names. Q’inzhay and Mhyrrg’reet, arent.

    “I too have a unique name and so do my daughters, Alieje`(Ah Lee Jhae) and Jhynne`(Jha Nay) Being unique is one thing but some of these names out here are just ridiculous!!! Do these women even think about the child’s future when they give these names! My and my kids names are DIFFERENT not IGNORANT!”
    And I suppose its all relative because Galeice,Alieje and Jhynne seem extraordinarily “fanciful” to me. I’d guess they were someones attempt to add frills to Alice, by adding a G. That Alieje is like “My liege” and “jyhnne” is like jinn, from folklore. That the pronunciation isnt evident from the spelling is what many people find “ignorant” about such names. It looks like people find sounds they like, then try to arrange letters in a visually attractive manner and then demand that people pronounce it how they want it.
    It makes it seem as if the parent has no basic understanding og phonics or spelling.

    I say this because its pretty obvious why the names continue, because a name that to one person epitomizes ghetto ignorance may to one seem perfectly lovely. And perhaps parents are less aware of how these names seem to others, than I thought they were.

    Posted by Nina | April 25, 2008, 11:00 am
  300. Chill out. You wouldn’t be getting so mad if you didn’t think it was true. People are getting named some ridiculous crap ya.

    Posted by Robin | April 25, 2008, 10:53 pm
  301. When my neice had her daughter, my mother, her mother and I were all over her to give that girl a reasonable name. Her first choice, I don’t recall it, because it was one of those “made-up” names. But mother, who was given a boys name (Frankie) put her foot down and said NO WAY. My neice found her brain and named the child “Nia Elizabeth” I have heard that a few people have grown up and changed their names because their name did not make any sense.

    Posted by Pamela | April 27, 2008, 4:48 am
  302. I agree this name thang is outrageous and It realy needs to tone down a notch. Some names (Sha’Queata)you can get away with, but others(Uhlleejsha) are just ridiculas. Most of these kids that have these names are not proud of them; they are embarrased by them. They just grow into them, because they don’t realy have a choice. How do they cope with them? They make nicknames, different names, or tell people just call them by a first letter. If you haven’t had to have to name a child, yet, you might want to think about these statements. Your child is already pretty much born with a strike against him, why give them another one to make it even harder in this world we are living in?

    Posted by Ken L. D | April 28, 2008, 10:41 am
  303. People should be able to name their children what ever they want, whether the whites are able to understand or pronounce it or not. Let the parents give the pronounciation and the system can follow that pronounciation.

    Posted by Avis | April 28, 2008, 5:34 pm
  304. I’d rather have one of those crazy black names than be named after a fictional humpback who can’t even find a date…

    ;)

    Posted by Quasimodo | April 30, 2008, 7:01 pm
  305. The most appalling fact in this entire thread is how few folks know the meaning of the word “satire”.

    Posted by Constance | May 1, 2008, 4:26 pm
  306. isn’t this article meant to be a JOKE?? Its not real…this was not a real ruling by a judge. We are all aware that there are some people (both Black and non-Black) giving their children some jacked up names and its time we made fun of that.

    Posted by geepee | May 2, 2008, 9:47 pm
  307. omg, this is the funniest shit i’ve ever seen

    Posted by Qufuamquancha | May 3, 2008, 11:40 pm
  308. I think this is one of the best satire websites ever made!!

    Reminds me of a tragically funny story that goes along a similar vein…

    One of my fellow soldiers in infantry basic training was named Ronnie. He was a bit older than the rest of us new recruits, in his early 30’s, and smart as a whipcrack. Ronnie and I became pretty good buddies. We were on a field training exercise, in the middle of nowhere in fort benning, and got to talking. For those of you out there who haven’t served, you can learn a lot about a friend when you are in a hasty fighting position, miserable and cold in the deep winter.

    For those of you still playing along at home, this is the tale he told me…

    His dad was also in the Army, and when his mom was well into her pregnancy he was transferred to a unit in Alaska. His dad went ahead while his mom stayed with her family. The plan was that she and her new baby would meet him up in alaska after the newborn was strong enough for the trip.

    Long story short, his dad got the word that he had a new healthy baby boy, and needed to name the child within so many days. (His parents had arranged that his dad would name the baby if it were a boy, the mother would name a girl.) He went out celebrating with a bunch of soldiers in his unit. After many drinks and much congratulations on the new addition to his family, the conversation eventually turned to the question: “Well, what are you gonna name him?” One of his buddies was the eternal prankster type. Every unit has that guy, you know. He bet Ronnie’s dad a month’s pay that he wouldn’t name the newborn a certain name. His pop, very drunk, eventually took the bet. And this, for an extra one month’s pay, is how my buddy was condemned to forever bear this name on his birth certificate….
    “Ronald McDonald F.” (last name withheld)

    Keep up the good work, you guys are great!!

    Posted by Eblis | May 5, 2008, 12:53 pm
  309. Ignorance knows no color, if someone wants to name their offspring for a constellation or genetalia is of no consequence in the larger scope of humanity. What we need to address is the destructive nature of the mass manipulaters keeping the oppressed people of all races at one anothers throats in order to keep us distracted. Although the US African American experience is unique; the histories of all races and classes throughout world’s history are rife with stories of subjugation and injustice. In this you can rest assured. During the 19th century the Chinese and Irish in America faced many of the same problems in that they were considered disposable and valued less than slaves. They were assigned to the most dangerous task because if a slave was killed it was considered money lost. The American Indian’s treatment is known to all. A little known historical fact is that there were black slave owners in the antibellum south and many black fought on the side of the confederacy (as a reward they were shot on sight by the union guards in Chicago’s POW camp.) The point I am trying to make is that; It is not a matter of color but, in fact a matter of socio-economic stratification with the monied class successfully disenfranchising all that are not part of their cabal. Again they do this by keeping all others focused on our differences and distracted from our similarities. If this farce of an article has done anything I hope it may have an impact on how we Americans view one another, not based on color but; based on how we treat all others regardless of color.

    Posted by Tim | May 6, 2008, 12:35 pm
  310. Most of you are way too funny! It didn’t even occur to me that someone would think this article was real until one of my girlfriends emailed me back outraged. LOL! Even if common sense didn’t kick in, it does have a disclaimer at the bottom that says, “Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think.” Maybe we shouldn’t be allowed to name our kids.

    Posted by Juelz | May 8, 2008, 2:16 pm
  311. I’m a teacher too and I laughed my head off reading this piece of satire.

    One thing I’d like to contest is all the people of the “no one has any right to tell anyone what to name their kids. – Now, regardless of colour (as someone pointed out – white people can name kids silly things – although in my experience “Asia” is a common black name) – Have people stopped to consider that inflicting utterly ridiculous names could be considered borderline child abuse? (Another thing that gets my goat is people piercing the ears on their baby – If you want to decorate something with shiny baubles, buy a Christmas tree! Yet people think flesh altering procedures are people’s “right”. Does the kid not get a say?)

    It smacks of not taking your child seriously – treating it as a trinket that you can label with a name as inconsequential as if you were naming a pet bunny rabbit.

    When I read through my student lists at the start of the year, I instantly know which kids will be hard to deal with – it will almost always be the ones (regardless of race) with the most idiotic names. This is an indicator of the attitudes they grew up around and reflects their own behaviour.

    Posted by Mike | May 9, 2008, 1:06 am
  312. This was mass e-mailed to me without the disclaimer, and I immediately started doing some research. It is not believable, but the person who sent it believed it.
    I thought it was hilarious and I only hope that everyone who reads it takes it for what it is-a joke.

    Posted by K Mar | May 12, 2008, 11:09 am
  313. This is an email hoax. For further info go to http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/blacknames.asp.

    The Peoples News Responds: No, Victoria, it’s not a hoax. It’s a satirical article written by the creative minds at The Peoples News. Thanks for reading.

    Posted by Victoria C | May 14, 2008, 9:15 am
  314. A joke with a certain group of people as the brunt of it. In fact, upon surfing other “writings” on this page, it appears that Mr. Matthews gets a kick out of poking fun of Black people or things that are usually “stereotypically” linked to Black people. Interesting. Not so funny!

    The Peoples News responds: Kymberlee, looks like you didn’t get to the “About” page. The Peoples News is “a satirical look at the lives of black folks.” Examining and writing about the interesting (and sometimes troubling) habits of our fellow African Americans is what The Peoples News is all about. Sorry you don’t see the humor in it, but we hope you’ll keep reading.

    Posted by Kymberlee | May 14, 2008, 10:52 am
  315. People immigrate to this country, bear children, give them four names, ten syllables long, and no one says a word. First you control the names, and then you control the births/deaths. The most admiral thing about white supremacy is its tenacity.

    Posted by mataka | May 18, 2008, 10:11 pm
  316. Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think.

    This article was successful in that its intentions were to provoke thought and conversation about an often overlooked issue of the “Name” given to a child. Many of the above bloggers have not realized that this article is a hoax based upon a real societal issue of poorly educated individuals and or individuals craving uniqueness, naming their children without forethought.
    As blogger Shea stated March 11, 2008 at 11:58 am
    “I FIRMLY believe upon naming your child you should picture his or her name on a resume…put yourself in a hiring manager’s position and based on name alone, would you hire this person?”
    “Know the times we live in” one blogger states, eluding to the fact that children are often ridiculed for the names they have. Young people can be cruel; seemingly vindictive at times. Another blogger brings up an incident of school shootings and makes it an issue of “White” children. Children of all races are killing each other for various “reasons”.
    What we name our children and how we raise our children is important no matter the race/ethnicity. YOU ARE KNOWN BY YOUR NAME AND THE WORKS THAT YOU DO.

    What harm will it do someone to do a little genealogical research during the course of their 9 month pregnancy? Where are your ancestors from? Who will know your child and how will they be remembered, their “Legacy”? Which name would you prefer your child carry and be known as? A clitoris, an Anis, or the fact that they act like an anis? Would you prefer that your carry the name of greatness, that of a cherished loved one or leader and have meaning.
    As blogger Ansar stated March 10, 2008 at 10:44 pm
    “… Know the difference between traditional names of actual historical or traceable community origins… acceptable for the benefit of the family as well as the child. After all, the ancient words tell us a good name is a very precious thing to have.”
    Another blogger, Rai March 11, 2008 at 10:18 am reminds us; “These so called mothers need to start thinking further than those couple of minutes of pleasure they experienced while conceiving that child…..You need to act like the adult you obviously are trying to be, since you took it upon yourself to lay down & try to reproduce… It’s not about “you” anymore. It’s about that label you placed on that child that will “follow” him/her throughout their lives.”
    “Things that make ya go Hmmm?”

    Posted by TLewis | May 19, 2008, 1:41 pm
  317. I’m appalled after reading the comments that so many did not read to the end of the article which clearly states the article is satire. In a country in which judges decide that to deny gay marriage is unconstitutional, what grounds would any judge have to deny mothers naming rights of their own children? The judicial atmosphere now is to grant rights the founding fathers would never have thought as a right, not to deny rights the founding father would not dream of taking. But, speaking of naming rights one must remember that rights come with responsibilities, responsibility to the child being named. Children are cruel, I grew up with a name that is not common in the United States, I had plenty of fights to defend the honor of my name. I proudly bear my name that is so unusual in this country; it comes from my mother’s country. It is not cruel to name a child an unusual name, but it is cruel to name a child name in jest, like the man I was in the Air Force with named Richard Head. I can still hear the sergeants calling, “Airman Head, Richard!, Dick Head front and center!” and the laughter of the squadron every Friday for certainly there was some reason to call Airman Head to front and center. Airman Head preferred to be called Rich. So take it for what it may. The other day I a teacher acquaintance of mine recalled the story of twins in her class named Lemonjello and Orangejello, I didn’t think much of it when heard it just kind of chuckled, the names didn’t sound too ridiculous until she spelled them to the group to whom she was telling the story. Maybe it was just an urban legend the teacher thought would make a funny story if she told the story as if it happened to her, I don’t know her well enough to know the truth. It certainly isn’t a story I would have repeated in any case (except this one of course). Reread the article and find the point the author was making with out the rage of thinking some three member white panel will be naming black babies.

    Posted by Zoran | May 28, 2008, 1:03 am
  318. First this site even portrays itself as satiricle in nature….not to be taken seriously…Second, I am all for naming your child something that has connections with your ancestors or a name that has cultural significance to what-ever your ethnic backround is…be it unpronounceable Celtic names like O’Sin (pronounced O-Sheen) after a demigod…or well I dont want to offent anybody (too seriously anyway) by making up what sounds to me like an african name but I have seen somebody of the african heritage with the name…..Aquanetta…like the hairspray…what the HELL does that have to do with cultural significance at all?!? I would never support anybody telling somebody else what to name their children…just be prepared for that name to be made fun of on the playground and by other adults….and expect them to change it when they are 18….

    Posted by andy | May 29, 2008, 8:57 am
  319. FOR all who may have missed it… this whole web site is a joke. It is satire like the onion.. or the daily show. Its not real news. Getting up in arms about fake news stories will do nothing but increase your blood pressure and cause stroke.

    All cultures have bad naming conventions. We need to get over ourselves a bit take it for what its worth.

    Posted by K | May 30, 2008, 9:49 pm
  320. Why is it that people from other countries can use all 26 letters of the alphabet in thier child’s name and we just assume it is a part of thier heritage. Makes you go, hmmmm…doesn’t it?

    Posted by Truworshpr | June 2, 2008, 5:59 pm
  321. Hilarious….This made my morning, don’t take it so serious, it is funny and some truth to it…

    Ustes = West Indian switch of Eustace…

    see has been happening for years…

    Posted by Ustes G | June 5, 2008, 10:18 am
  322. @Stefani and anyone else who did “research” to see if it’s real or not…

    I did my research too…. I looked ALL THE WAY at the bottom of the article where it said “Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think.”

    By the way… this article’s hilarious…. get a sense of humor….. I’m sure you could find that in a database too…

    Posted by Corwin | June 5, 2008, 10:27 am
  323. You think that bad. Here in New york you see parents of all races giving their children african names. a mexican mom gave aher daughter the Tykia.

    Posted by John Mendoza | June 9, 2008, 3:32 pm
  324. In the end we all have to give account for our actions while here on earth. Only God can judge and vengence is His. There is nothing your job title or your degree can do to keep you from going to hell or getting into heaven.

    Posted by scott | June 25, 2008, 9:25 am
  325. I couldn’t believe how many people took this article seriously… especially once there were 30-40 posts saying “hey, this is a joke!”

    What’s weird is the people who said they got that it was a joke but thought it was in poor taste. I don’t think the authors meant for this to be slanderous to black women or suggest in any way that they actually should be forced to have their names approved.

    I think that the real joke here is taking a look at how black and white culture clash. If you re-read the article, all of the people complaining about the black names are white people. The article is saying “I’ll bet if some white people had their way, they would really legislate this.”

    In a country where we all claim to not be racist but our racial allegences flare up at the slightest provocation, I applaud this website for taking a politically charged subject and letting us all laugh at it together. It’s not mean-spirited and it doesn’t pander to white people. Overall I think it’s a step in the right direction. I think it’s sad that so many people responded negatively to something intended to bring people together through humor.

    Posted by SC | June 26, 2008, 2:42 pm
  326. I’m a black female and all I have to say is, about time!!!

    Posted by Ginger | July 7, 2008, 11:05 am
  327. Holy Crap!!!! It’s a fake article written to be a little humurous and make people think… IT’S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT SLAVERY!!!! I never had nor will I ever have a slave! Give it up, you’re not slaves… let it go!!!!!!

    Posted by jen | July 9, 2008, 8:00 pm
  328. I get it…but read the fine print people!!! :p

    Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think.

    Posted by T'ana Vanessa Gallego de Kontou | July 16, 2008, 3:53 am
  329. i can see where the judge is coming from in terms of some of the ludicrous names i have heard but at the same time so many responsibilties are already being taken away from mothers such as discipline and how to raise their children that this just takes the biscuit.
    Who’s right is it to say what name seems appropriate from what doesent and why has race and genders been brought into the debate?
    i have a 5 year old daughter named dejanae it is french for lunch only i spelt it differently. it has no bearing on her background i just liked it and went with it how dare he tell anyone what they can and cant name their child. His point started off valid untill he brought an all white panel and targeted this ruling at black impoverished mothers!

    Posted by Helen Oakley | July 21, 2008, 10:13 am
  330. Whoa! Had me fooled lol.

    Posted by RichieRich | July 25, 2008, 12:41 am
  331. This was hilarious. Had me going for a minute….. mouth wide open saying “whaaaaat???”.. then I get to the very bottom. Great story!!!

    Posted by DeniseDW | July 26, 2008, 10:00 am
  332. this is not REAL BUT SATIRE … however I am thnkful that it has us all discussing the issue.

    Posted by Um'brelia Jashsay Johnson | July 28, 2008, 10:30 am
  333. I see the people who were dumb enough to beleive this was an actual ruling are the same ones who think white folks are trying to ‘get them’. Figures.

    Unusual names are fine, but please pick something that’s easy to pronounce and doesn’t sound really goofy.

    Posted by Armentia | July 28, 2008, 12:44 pm
  334. A medical intern of my acquaintance once told me that it’s a daily chore of his to try and convince young black women to avoid naming their children after cars and drugs (‘Lexus’ and ‘Codeine’ being the top choices respectively.)

    Posted by Radar Man | July 30, 2008, 8:31 pm
  335. To Armentia’s comment I think you missed the point that the people who responded to this article as though it was real are just sparking discussion about that topic.

    I think that this article reflects a realistic possibility considering that the right to sag one’s pants is now illegal in certain states. It’s the 2008 version of the Jim Crow laws.

    However, I feel the need to point out that while black children’s names become extremely difficult to pronounce for white people, the names are not meant for white tongues. Just as African names such as “sunayade” and “mwanajuma” are meant to be pronounced by Africans, names like “latoshanay” and “t’ryqe” are meant to be pronounced by African Americans.

    Please note, that when the Europeans came to this country they took no time to understand the language or value the culture of those who existed here. So under what circumstances should African Americans do the same? I see no one complaining about Asian names such as Sung Minh Cho, which don’t exactly roll off of one’s tongue either.

    Posted by Tiana | August 3, 2008, 6:25 pm
  336. The subject matter of this article although satire should be thought provoking and an eye opener for many. The most operative word is (education). We as parents have to first use wise discernment in regards to the well-being and futures of our precious jewels (children). There is nothing wrong with being extraordinary or exceptional, and having a unique name should speak for high standards and virtuous character. Titilayo (f) means “eternal happiness in Yoruba; Oluwatoyin (m & f) means “God is worthy to be praised” in Yoruba; Ogechukwukama (f) means “God’s time is the best” in Igbo; Obi (m) means “heart” in Igbo; Nyah also Nia (f) means “purpose” in Swahili, and one my favorite masculine names is Azubuike (m) means “the past is your strength” or “your back is your strength” in Igbo. Although society says some names may seem made up or challenging to comprehend, when one takes the time to read and become enlightened on the history of African traditional names, then understanding will definitely bring about a change. Mothers I encourage you to name your children strong virtuous names that speak to honorable character, high standards, the wealth of African heritage, and our precious jewels unlimited capabilities. Most importantly let our children know that they are priceless, irreplaceable, and polish their young minds to make a powerful difference for the future. Together, we can and we will.

    Posted by Marian | August 3, 2008, 8:03 pm
  337. Wow, will you all stop being so racist?

    The solution to racism if you see it is NOT TO START ATTACKING THE OPPOSITE RACE IN DEFENCE. It is just to CALL OUT THE RACISM. If you do that you are just as bad as them and frankly I would be appalled at the story (if it was real) but equally appalled at some of the responses here.

    Don’t spout off about “whites will not tell me what to do with my life” AND some over-emotional woman actually had the audacity to mention slavery. Now was that for shock value or what? You simply cannot compare any of this to slavery. No one is being made a slave in any way. You ought to be ashamed of cheapening the meaning of real slavery, and the suffering all those people went through with your cheap shot at making a point that did nothing but fall flat on it’s ass.

    Anyway …You need to pay more attention. Not only is the article a joke, even if it was real….
    WHITES did not make the rule, some idiot who decided they wanted to have unnecessary control over a portion of (idiotic) women’s lives did. Some random in the government.
    Oh and there is no use mentioning the “white” celebrity names. Why? Because they are just that, celebrities. Not normal (white) people. So they can pretty much do what they want. MOOT.

    I can understand how disturbing it would be to read the line about black women having their baby names pre-approved by white people. It sounds too crazy to believe. (you should have realized then surely?)
    I believe that’s the part that got so many commenters riled up.
    So anyway, I mainly wanted to remind you that not all (white?) people would feel that way, and if you pay attention it is not black women being singled out. It is people giving their children utterly ridiculous names, a trend which just so happened to be occuring among those poor black mothers, as opposed to making a crazy law randomly controlling what black women can do.

    If something like this happened for real you needed to take a breath, start writing to the necessary people to get it changed, CALL THE MEDIA (LOL) but PLEASE the last thing you should do in a situation such as this is turn it into an attack on the race you felt attacked you/ whites.
    Find out who made the ridiculous rule and direct your anger and racism accusations at them. At the correct person, and not a whole race who had nothing to do with the ruling.

    -Yes it’s really funny how much the article made people think…or not think.. Certainly interesting.
    Might want to put the warning at the top next time though, as I suspect many got halfway through before it got too much and they headed straight down to the comment box to furiously release their (mis-directed, and racist) anger.

    -funniest response/line ?
    “His point started off valid untill he brought an all white panel and targeted this ruling at black impoverished mothers!”

    Posted by FYI? white girl here | August 5, 2008, 12:40 am
  338. Excuse me?

    ” while black children’s names become extremely difficult to pronounce for white people, the names are not meant for white tongues.”

    “names like [...] are meant to be pronounced by African Americans.”

    Since when did black and white people in the same country speaking the same native language pronounce things differently?
    Are you SERIOUS?
    Being black/african american does not actually give you any closer link to Africa. Specifically any greater ability to pronounce things. We all have the same god damn tongues. Have you forgotten that there are whites in Africa too?

    African Americans are NOT Africans.
    The vast vast majority do not speak any of the traditional African languages and unless they recently immigrated, their parent’s don’t either.
    On a similar note; why do you suppose they can pronounce these random names better?
    You are aware than there are many many languages spoken in Africa? For example French. English. Portuguese. Afrikaans; which closely resembles Dutch.
    Those are all European languages.

    What part of Africa are you talking about exactly? How long ago did black americans inherit this fancy tongue, or ability to pronounce made up American names from their ancient African ancestors? Are there people in Africa called Enai’q’uaa’i ? Would they be able to pronounce this name with ease ?
    You fail to realize that half of them are not even traditional. Half of the time they are names spelled phonetically (white women do this too)
    Or could it be maybe, just maybe.. that if you are around people with ‘traditional’ names you have heard them before, thus know how to pronounce them? Again, this would be down to individuals. A white person would have just as much ability to pronounce ‘black’ names if they were around such a name. A black person who has never heard such a name before would have difficulty getting it right. People can rarely pronounce names correctly that they are not familiar with.

    ” when the Europeans came to this country they took no time to understand the language or value the culture of those who existed here. So under what circumstances should African Americans do the same? ”

    W.T.F? You are insane.
    I have no idea what sort of point you were trying to make there..

    Posted by Re:Tiana | August 5, 2008, 1:32 am
  339. This story had me rolling in laughter. LOL. Its just satire, it does make you think though. Good job guys

    Posted by Clitoria Jackson | August 5, 2008, 1:05 pm
  340. I haven’t made it through all the responses yet, but this whole thing had me rolling on the floor!

    The real story is that there are many many people who can’t read out there. Yes, it’s a joke. Satire to be accurate.

    When I was reading the comments, I thought maybe those were made up too. These people can’t be serious!

    I just searched a snippet of the text and this “story” is really making the rounds. Judging by the comments on other sites, they can’t read either. :)

    Keep up the creative writing. :)

    Posted by Alain Saffel | August 6, 2008, 6:33 pm
  341. You all need to chill. We’re not “White Devils,” and this article isn’t real. You can name your kids any thing you want and we just don’t care.

    Posted by Tepnoa | August 31, 2008, 7:00 pm
  342. The article was funny, the responses are even funnier, especially from all the militants.

    You might buy art from an artist, or music from a musician, but you wouldn’t buy music or art from me – it would be shite.

    The same with names, there are a few people who have come up with some inspired names (Beyonce for example, is fantastic – unless she marries a Mr Castle – because then she will be Mrs Beyonce Castle) but most of the unique names, are well, a bit shite.

    So labelling a kid with a shite name would be like having my shite art on the walls of your house, or listening to my shite music, except more difficult to change, so in most cases better go for something safer.

    Weird names crop up in other places too, during the conflict in the old yugoslavia lots of UN troops found some weird names, like “Massey Ferguson” and “Electrification”, from parents who were proud that they had a tractor or just got connected to electricity.

    In france, just after the revolution, ‘les citoyens’ didn’t want to name their children after the old kings and saints, so there was a spate of strange names like “Tomato” and “Potato”.

    There were cultural reasons for those, whats the cultural reason in the US?

    Posted by Russ | September 8, 2008, 3:05 am
  343. OK… really?

    I don’t know if I should laugh or cry at this whole thing. It was obvious that this was a joke well before you get to the disclaimer folks. It wouldn’t matter if a judge really did want to pass this law or not. Clitoria? You bought that??? I smacks of that stupid joke of a woman naming her child Female after seeing it on whatever hospital document you’d like. Did you think that was real too? If you’re going to be upset about something how about being upset that an Internet hoax proved how gullible and I’ll say it, stupid, everyone is. Take a chill and relax. There is no conspiracy here by the white man. Hello? Let me buy you all a calendar. It’s 2008. Leave this crap in the past where it belongs. The only thing holding anyone back is themselves. Until you realize that, you will stay exactly where you are.

    No one actually cares what anyone names their children. It gives us someone to laugh about at the very least. And laugh we do. I have a cousin named Shaquandra. Now get this, she’s supposedly named after her two grandmothers who have completely “normal” names- Sharon and Cassandra. Now tell me, how the hell did they come up with Shaquandra? Do you see “quan” anywhere in their names? Nope, but at least it made Christmas hilarious. Even more so when the father misspelled the name. Incidentally, they followed up that lovely name with the best ever. They had a beautiful son and no, they didn’t name him Tayqwan or anything like that. Nope. We were lucky enough to get our very own superhero. They named him Bruce Wayne Jackson. I kid you not.

    Now tell me you didn’t laugh….

    Posted by I think I've lost brain cells | September 14, 2008, 11:20 pm
  344. Yikes! The sheer number of folks who wrote comments that seem to indicate that they failed to notice that this post was satire is almost as frightening as the real Mothers who name their children according to how cute they think it’ll sound calling the lil’ tyke in the Market.

    HR types have admitted that they File 13 resumes with ghetto names so there are Moms out there desperately in need of a clue, and that’s NOT satire!

    I have been making sport of these phonetic abortions for years now, as have a whole lot of other black folks in my circle of friends. An early theory of mine involved friends sneaking bottles of Wild Irish Rose into the maternity war prior to the naming process. Several years ago I begged a female relative not to come up with some ghettoesque name for her daughter, encouraging her to make sure that the name at least meant some thing. It didn’t help and young Shawneeselyn will never appreciate how I tried to spare her.

    If ever the term “there oughta be a law” applies it’s here. Perhaps stiff jail sentences will serve as a deterent to this ghetto fabulous trend. Unfortunately, due to professional sports, these absurd monikers are escaping into the public domain, much to the embarrassment of black folk everywhere. Don’t think so? I offer one name “Anfernee!” Why did this guy’s Mom decide to hire Buckwheat to name her Son?

    Hats off to The People’s News for starting this much needed dialog!

    I myself am a victim of an earlier trend among black women, naming their kid after a U.S. President of some other famous white guy… god help me!

    Benjamin Harrison Parks

    Posted by Benjamin | September 16, 2008, 1:27 pm
  345. have a 5 year old daughter named dejanae it is french for lunch only i spelt it differently. it has no bearing on her background i just liked it and went with it how dare he tell anyone what they can and cant name their child. His point started off valid untill he brought an all white panel and targeted this ruling at black impoverished mothers!

    This is a joke, right? someone from TPN planted that comment to show how stupid some of these comments and reactions are? I spelt it differently? I nominate Helen Oakley to go before the naming committee promptly!

    The Peoples News responds: All our letters are real, TeacherC.

    Posted by TeacherC | November 11, 2008, 3:23 pm
  346. calm down people. it’s satire. nothing but jokes.
    but really, the names are getting quite out of hand. and as for little “dejanae”, that’s french for breakfast. not lunch. at least know that you’re naming your daughter after the first meal of the day rather than the second. otherwise it’s just rediculous, right?
    poor kid.

    The Peoples News responds: While you may question this mom’s taste in names, her French is on point. Dejanae, or dejeuner as it is correctly spelled, is lunch. Petit dejeuner is breakfast.

    Posted by trish. | November 12, 2008, 1:48 pm
  347. Whan my daughter was born in the early seventies I asked the nurse what was the most unusual name she had heard. She stated that a baby came in here a feww mo ago and her name was ohrangee, she asked the mother whare she got that name. The mother said she came by cab and when the labor pains got tough she looked up and there on the billboard was oranges and the words orange you smart. tThus 0rangee.

    Posted by Richard | November 12, 2008, 10:44 pm
  348. ITS A FREAKIN SATIRE its not real get over it but it is funny

    Posted by rocio | November 23, 2008, 9:36 pm
  349. Did anyone read the whole article?

    Posted by chris | December 11, 2008, 8:36 pm
  350. Okay. I understand many of you being offended and I have noticed the unusual names African Americans have been getting, but if you would simply look at the bottom of the article, you would see a disclaimer saying that this is not a true story. It’s satire! It’s made up by “the creative minds of The People’s News” to present a point! If anyone ever went to Congress with this proposal, it would immediately be rejected. The Constitution grants all American citizens the freedom to name their children, even if it’s something like “Q’Q’Sha.” I’m not questioning your intelligence, but do the words “THIS ISN’T REAL!!!” have to be at the top of the page in large blinking letters for you to figure out that it’s fiction before you read it?! By the way, I think Q’Q’Sha would be pronounced “kew-kew-shah.”

    Posted by Lynda | December 20, 2008, 7:53 pm
  351. I have to Agree I think they should make it to Be upon 3 other White people .

    Cause I went to school with alot of Black kids who’s Damn names I still can’t say Or even understand why? their Parents even Named them Clotish , Laqueesha , MaCloishua , Tanaera , & TyniQua , & the names Are just Stupid .

    I’m glad my Mother Named me Candace Elise …….lol

    Posted by Candace | January 19, 2009, 10:17 pm
  352. I am immediately calling Jesse Jackson and Al Sharptin. We need them to protect us from this white opression.

    Posted by No Way!!!! | January 22, 2009, 11:03 pm
  353. Hello,
    The tooth fairy wants you all to know…..
    THIS IS NOT A REAL ARTICLE
    IT NEVER HAPPENED
    at least it accomplished what it set out to do – make people think, talk and discuss
    Well done…..

    Posted by Jo | February 25, 2009, 8:26 pm
  354. What the Judge wrote is right on, however it might have gone down easier in the Black community if he had simply written as an individual and left the ‘Judge’ off of his name.

    As a private individual he has every right to express his opinion. As an officer of the court he is discussing an issue that has no place in court.

    Posted by Harry | March 2, 2009, 10:29 am
  355. It seems like most of you are aware that this is satire…you know, just folks having some (legitimate) fun with an issue we’ve all addressed at one time or another (wink). I’m not sure it’s a unanimous conclusion, though.

    I’m not going to express another single thought….a difficult choice, but I made it, and I’m stickin’ to it!

    Posted by Penelope | March 11, 2009, 8:21 pm
  356. I wonder how many people realize that this article is, in fact, not a real occurence, just satire.
    Nobody’s taking away the right for black women to give their children ridiculous names. No one has the right to. If they did, this would’ve been done ages ago. I have only sympathy for the poor kids who have to bear with horrible names that no one can pronounce yet everyone can make fun of. I once heard of a girl named Labia. That name automatically makes me think, “That girl is going to be raped some day because of that name.” And who’s to blame? The parents. Black mothers aren’t the only culprits; there are names like Buddy, Guy, Apple, and Hammy that are equally ridiculous and were given to children by white parents. Even so, it cannot be ignored that black women *are* the main culprits! There are some black children with names that are completely made up of consonants, and not a single vowel. How do you expect to pronounce something like that? You can’t!
    Give the author some slack. He has every right to poke fun at this matter, because it needs to be addressed. If the African-American population dislikes aricles like these, then don’t perpetuate them! Give your kids legible names! Illegible and vulgar names are neither cute nor funny. If a person wants to have their child stand out, let that kid do it in his or her own way. Perhaps, when the child grows up, they don’t even want to be unique. That’s often the case when they have parents who force them to be. Stop screwing up children with stupid acts! Starting with their names!
    And on a side note, the last bit about fathers rarely being involved in their childrens’ lives is, once again, not entirely false. Just because the way it was put wasn’t the nicest doesn’t make it wrong. Many fathers are not involved in their childrens’ lives, Black fathers being a big chunk of those type of fathers.
    I agree with this article, its message, and its purpose.

    Posted by Hello, It's satire! | April 2, 2009, 11:04 am
  357. I believe that the judge is an asshole. Like real talk. Why did he have to pin point African American women? I mean the last time I remembered we have some little white kids names Storm and Apple. When did that become a good decision to name a kid? When this dumb racist judge decided that he wants to take away peoples rights. And for that teacher, her job is to read and pronounce. If you cant do it, then give up your day job. This really has made this day the worst. Racism, especially amung the same race is crazy, because the darn judge is black.

    Posted by Ashley Bowen | May 9, 2009, 9:00 pm
  358. Ashley, the article is satire. It’s NOT REAL, it’s a JOKE!
    The author used humor to make a serious point about the high incidence of stupid names in the black community. Blacks don’t have a monopoly on stupid names, but we do have more than our fair share per capita. If you want to stand out, accomplish something, excel in school, make a positive mark on society.

    Posted by Michael Taylor | May 22, 2009, 9:13 am
  359. i agree with what the judge had to say but there is nothing wrong with a name being a little diffent.sure some names like J’Q Shay or something stupid like that shouldnt be allowed to be a name but Shaniqua or something is ok. but white ppl have stupid names too.(mostly celebrities) big bunch of racists

    Posted by rachel | June 5, 2009, 9:17 pm
  360. Some names are ridiculous and yet other seem unique. Whatever it is, it’s the parent’s choice. But even then the parents need to realize what that name will mean to the child and certain things that will happen in his/her life.

    Posted by JakJak | June 8, 2009, 10:04 pm
  361. If you think White people are trying to make you all slaves again you’re retarded. Am I saying racism does not exist? No. Am I saying that many of you in this comments thread are taking the SATIRE to an even further extreme? Hell yes!

    So many of you in this thread have repeatedly said that white people can not and should not be trusted no matter what. Sounds racist to me. Next time someone looks at you like you’re about to steal something, or they profile you, remember how you put all white people in one group, and remember how you read SATIRE and were too ignorant to notice that that is what it was.

    If I EVER get called racist for stereotyping, believe me when I say I’ma cuss a mofo up and down the street. This whole “white people are trying to make us slaves again, don’t trust ‘em!” is bull shit. I’ve fought in Afghanistan for this country, I’ve had rockets shot at me. And just because I am white, most of you here wouldn’t trust me, even though I would be more than willing to help someone out if they needed it, or just have friendly conversation while out and about.

    This shit is a damn shame.

    Posted by Bill | June 10, 2009, 9:18 am
  362. BACK TO SLAVERY AGAIN WHEN NAMES WERE GIVEN BY THE SLAVE MASTERS INTERESTING

    Posted by Patricia Morrison | June 16, 2009, 1:01 pm
  363. what about people from other groups/nation that has names that is hard to pronounce we have to accept, Cabrera is a hard to pronounce name also what is his (the Judge) problem i suspect prejudice in him

    Posted by Patricia Morrison | June 16, 2009, 1:11 pm
  364. How many times will it have to be said that this was only a joke. Even if the subject rings true, it is meant as satire and people shouldn’t be acting all threatened and concerned about this “ruling.” Judge “Ryan Cabrera”?? C’MON PEOPLE!!! Ryan Cabrera is one of those little Disney singer guys that Ashlee Simpson dated. Obviously a joke altogether.

    Posted by Mara | July 2, 2009, 3:48 pm
  365. ITS SATIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If a twelve-year-old girl can distinguish this, then those adults with professional jobs who at least got their GEDs should! Anyway, just putting my two cents in: the names are ridiculous, because some of the girls I know are named like that (Check out the Racist – Language part in http://www.snopes.com, where I was lead to this page). But this is fake. Think about it, if it were real, all those African-American people would lead a revolt! And that would be racist (duh!) which people get imprisoned for. All of you are hilarious! I won’t even reply to those who have made this in to the debate of the century! Well, I lost my train of thought. Maybe I’ll write it up when I remember it..

    Posted by DoubleDutchDreamGirl | August 6, 2009, 3:49 pm
  366. Oh, right. Ryan Cabrera is a singer dating Lisa Marie Presley’s daughter!

    Posted by DoubleDutchDreamGirl | August 6, 2009, 3:53 pm
  367. Joke or not, this article is in bad form. The issue here isn’t about a parent’s right to pass along their heritage to their children by their choice of names (I have given”uncommon” names to all my kids to honor my Irish and Scottish heritage, which may be nonsensical to asian-language speakers). The issue is that you are perpetuating negative stereotypes. Shame on you author for taking a cheap shot at black fathers. That is a truly horrible thing to say. I hope you will reassess the application of your intelligence and creativity, because it can be put to much better use than promoting ignorance and controversy. You are a talented writer, and would do much good using your wit and sense of humor in a more positive pursuit.

    Posted by David Ian | August 22, 2009, 12:14 am
  368. Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. :) Cheers! Sandra. R.

    Posted by sandrar | September 10, 2009, 2:15 pm
  369. I remember an incident that involved my brother. A few years back he took his son to the emergency room and after he checked his son in, an african-american woman checked in with her son. When the lady was asked her childs name she told the check in nurse. When the nurse asked the lady to spell the childs name, the lady had to look at the childs (ss) card because she didn’t know how to spell it herself.

    I understand that the story I read about the judge was completely made up, but I laughed my ass off.

    Crazy names or just completly off the wall names are not just among the black community.

    I have been in plenty of white homes were the person’s name is Rainbow, or a congloboration of three names to make one name. Just 3 days ago I heard on the news that a high class white couple named their child “Moxie Crimefighter” what the hell is up with that!?

    Honor your parents, grandparents, great grandparents, but give your child one name from that person. You don’t have to add them all together. I have a niece named after my grandpa, but her name is Jessica, grandpa’s first name was Jesse.

    Remember how hard is was for you to remember how to spell our name when we first started, just think how hard it is for children that have been given names because the parent was smoking Crack.

    Posted by r miller | September 27, 2009, 3:32 pm
  370. Why is everyone assuming the judge is White?
    Calling the judge a racist? Would he be racists if he were black, or hispanic or asian? I bet the judge is black and all yall are racists for jumping on the racist bandwagon.
    But look again. Ha, it’s a joke on you. Funny how most everyone here got their panties all in a pinch and yelling and all that.
    Just goes to show you that whites are not the only racist people in the world. A lot of blacks are too, including Sharpton and Jackson, two of the biggest.

    Posted by ro | October 7, 2009, 1:41 pm
  371. Why are you assuming that this was a real article??

    Posted by LOU | October 9, 2009, 8:23 am
  372. This article is intended as a satire. However, it does address an issue which should be taken seriously. How about blacks exert more energy into raising and educating their kids and less energy into coming up with retarded names. It doesn’t make your kid unique or special, it just makes them (and you) sound ghetto and illiterate.

    Posted by Aari | November 22, 2009, 12:28 pm
  373. I have 3 bi-racial children and me and their father picked out their names because I am a black woman does not give any one the right to tell me what to name I children I name my children what I chose and if you are anyone else does not like it then you do not have to say their names
    D’Christopher Sharron Antonio Lee
    Rickhell Christian Alexander Jaden Jhamal
    Riggs Charles Calvin Edward Amos

    each of my kids has a male relatives name or something close to symbol our family bond.People should be allowed to name their children what ever they like

    Posted by kassandra | December 9, 2009, 10:11 pm
  374. After reading some of the postings here, it’s evident why people are giving their kids stupid sounding names.

    Posted by skinned | December 22, 2009, 6:53 pm
  375. Do you not know the meaning of SATIRE? Very funny, still laughing

    Posted by Connie | January 27, 2010, 12:41 am
  376. this story is a joke. Federal courts cannot hear these kinds of cases, it’s a state matter, there would be no subject matter jurisdiction. This is an “The Onion” type of article. It’s not real.

    Posted by steve | February 19, 2010, 8:38 am
  377. Hilarious. I think the wave of “unique” and “trendy” names afflicts all ethnicities alike – I met a mother recently who had twin girls named Xiamara and Keileigh. WTF?

    Posted by skippy | April 19, 2010, 11:20 am
  378. First off, to those of you who can’t believe this is is real: Guess what, you’re right. It’s not real. It says that on the end of the article. Please read the whole thing.

    Second, let’s be realistic. I’ll be the first to admit, this sounds pretty racist. But if we remember the first point I’ve made, we can all agree to stop claiming that ‘slavery is coming back!’ and all this other nonsense. Grow up.

    Last point here. Even fake, this article is TRUE. I mean I’m not saying that you have to name your child Shawn, Carol, or Kelly, but Shan’uqatia just looks like you tossed onto a piece of paper and picked the letters that didn’t get covered in what you had for lunch.

    I’m sure I’ll be dismissed as racist for this, but let’s face the facts here folks: giving them a ‘unique’ name like Q’ulan’ite isn’t going to make their lives easier. It just makes you look like an idiot.

    Posted by Female | May 27, 2010, 6:20 pm
  379. About 75% of you need to look up the word “satire” in the dictionary. This article is even more funny when you consider that some of these 75% are name calling and pointing fingers, and yet don’t understand that this isn’t a real article.

    Posted by Satire | September 9, 2010, 3:57 pm
    • Which further stereo-types the people that read this rag…..READING IS FUNDAMENTAL!! If everyone would take the time to consider the whole instead of emotionally latching on to the tidbits that jump out at you, this world would be in a much safer state.

      Posted by Dis Belief | November 9, 2010, 11:43 am
  380. The article is a joke, if you didn’t understand this then YOU ARE DUMB. Yes you, you right there

    Posted by rofl | November 22, 2010, 12:14 pm
  381. i actually knew a black man in kansas named “Molesta” and just recently, there was a woman arrested for shoplifting locally named “Latrina”. what on earth were the parents thinking?

    The Peoples News responds: We figured you were BS-ing, Tom. But then we looked it up, and yep, Latrina was arrested for shoplifting. An awful beginning to life when you are named for a toilet.

    Posted by tom | December 23, 2010, 1:56 pm
  382. Ok, now I can say the names are getting ridiculous, but I don’t think that it’s fair for 3 white ppl to agree on the name before the child is named. Some of their names ain’t great neither! But I feel that this takes away the freedom. Granted, these names can be crazy at times, but I just don’t agree with that.

    Posted by Brittany | March 17, 2011, 8:44 pm
  383. I am astonished by the number of people who think this article is real – despite the fact that there is statement at the end of the article clearly stating that it is satire! Honestly, how stupid are all of you?

    Posted by Biddy | May 13, 2011, 8:17 pm
  384. Those aren’t misspellings?

    Posted by phiz | June 1, 2011, 12:56 pm
  385. This judge made a serious error in ethical behavior considering his position. He is correct as far as the stereotypical names that are given to children. That is a lot of silliness, the name Clitorial makes no sense . What I find most interesting is that he is perceived as a racist but the comments from Blacks borders on that also. What I got out of this column and blog is that as Americans, black and white we still hate each other and that in itself is shameful. Hopefully these young parents will become enlightened through education or take a moment to essentially think before doing. We as a people (black) need to harness our hate. Forget about white for a few and learn that being HUMANE is our goal. Whether you like it or not, racism begets racism so you’re just as bad as the one you’re complaining about. The reality is that these kids will be marked and are marked and that is what we as a people should focus on and help guide these young women and men, so they can see the consequences of these names that do more harm then good. If this judge is a racist then so be it, we need not follow in his footsteps or ignorance but at the same time we must acknowledge that he has made a viable point.

    Posted by Walter R. Terrell | June 2, 2011, 8:28 pm
  386. I love this. Hilarious! Just made my day. This is becoming a problem with all races, not just black people. The whole ridiculous spelling of names is out of control. Why do we need to name kids something outrageous, or make the spelling “one-of-a-kind”?? Because uneducated people think it will help their cause or their children’s cause if they are “unique”? LMAO! Best part’s of the article…. “Beginning in one week, at least three white people must agree with the name before a black mother can name her child.” hahah.. and the last sentence of the article.

    Posted by A Rich | June 6, 2011, 9:58 am
    • Rich, this article being satire notwithstanding, your comment: “Because uneducated people think it will help their cause or their children’s cause if their name is “unique” … is a little too generous because it assumes the parent/parents are actually looking out for their kids future.

      More likely, the narrow-minded stupid-name practice is more an expression of the parent’s own vanity and/or inadequacy.

      Posted by Al | June 18, 2011, 9:42 pm
  387. Hi. My name is Al. Al the mechanic. I like my name because no matter where I get a job there’s usually overalls in the bin already with names on them like “Joe”, “Mike”, “Ray”, and a course “Al”. Sometimes mine even comes in different sizes! Saves me from sewing them on. I really like my name.

    Posted by Al | June 18, 2011, 2:21 am
  388. I do feel the name of children has gone too far. However, I will be damned if my child’s name will be based on the concensus of 3 causcasian!!!! Why 3 caucasian? My name is LaVeta, which means the cleansed one, and I am proud. My mother, herself alone came up with chose my name. I truly feel the ruling takes up back to slavery when white slave owners renamed their slaves because they did not like or could not pronouce the slaves name. Kunta (being renamed Toby). There are so many other thing we need to focus on.

    Posted by LaVeta | September 11, 2011, 2:44 pm
  389. This article is a satire! Women have the right to name their children as they see fit. However, that being said.. the issue of ridiculous names does need to be addressed. Immigrants from other countries often manage to simplify their names while still retaining their ethnic identity. It can be done. African American women ( and Hollywood movie stars) who give their children alphabet soup names seriously need to tone it down. It does not make them look original or unique.. it labels them. If parents give a child a “unique” name, they can pair it up with a more traditional name. That way, the child ( as an adult) can have a choice. My mom’s best friend had both a feminine name and a more masculine one. While her family called her the traditional girl name, as an adult she used the masculine one to submit her work to be published. Back in the 1940’s.. there was much bias against women in academia.. particuarly in science/math/engineering fields. If they saw a man’s name they judged her work based upon its content and not who wrote it. Call it what you want but it is human nature. When I see a name like Sha ‘ lika Quishi ‘ ta…I know that a). It isn’t really African b) I don’t want a name on my company’s business card. If my customers cannot remember or pronounce it, they will go elsewhere.

    Posted by Siobhan | October 15, 2011, 11:43 am
  390. Funny, funny article. I loved it. At first I thought it was real but then I saw it was satire. Loved it. I work with a group of people and that group is overwhelmingly black. I like many in the group. One of my closest friends in life is a black brother in Africa who I have visited in his country four times. I do not feel I am racist. I do however think it is just ridiculous some of the names, no not some, most of the names give in the last ten years. So I loved the article.

    Posted by shmoogie | November 7, 2011, 10:18 pm
  391. My nerdy internet addicted white neighbor named his kid ROFLOL LMFAO Jones. Great Satire, this article. At first, my concern was that no judge should have that much power to stop all that name calling. However, this satire and one good Judge could get the ball rolling. There is much truth in this fictitious article. There are consequences that result from real people having names like La-ia, pronounced LuhDashYa, starting with classmate ridicule. But if kids tease her they will be bullies and get to start their criminal records early. But that just means more secure state control for those kids leading to an eventual guaranteed 3 meals per day. Bad teachers will be easier to be removed when they fail to pronounce these names. They can get prison guard jobs and stay in the union. Judges might need to brush up on their pronunciation skills because if they hurt what’s-her-name’s feelings in court they could get disbarred in this ass backwards nation. Liberalism has gone from the sublime into the ridiculous. At some point when you realize you have made a wrong turn, you try to get back to the right path. It requires some stopping and turning around.
    The Constitution is our roadmap. Common Sense had it in his breast pocket when he was kicked out back on the Freeway before taking the left turn for the worst.

    Posted by Christopher | November 26, 2011, 7:58 am
    • I found this interesting in that a friend of mine from India actually went around the office and asked all the white employees to pronounce three names he had written down to give his son.
      He wanted an Indian name that white people could pronounce without too much trouble. Mind you, his child has 5 names based upon Indian tradition. I thought it was rather insightful of him to think ahead into the future for his child.

      Posted by Rich | December 8, 2011, 4:14 pm
  392. It’s called a satire. Do you think when people read Swift’s “A Modest Proposal” they actually thought they should cook up and eat poor chubby girls? It’s poking fun at the way in which white society treats minorities. I don’t think it’s mocking blacks. I think it’s mocking stupid people who generalize and assume the worst in others. The point of a satire is to take a grain of truth and go to extremes so people are forced to realize their own fallacy. You know what’s sad is most of you didn’t get the satire bit; and worse still, many of you agreed with it! Anyone who thought this was real should be made into a stew and fed to Jabba the Hutt.

    Posted by Stupid | January 10, 2012, 3:48 am
  393. Kason doesn’t mean “Kace’s son”. it means “son of the marsh-dwellers”. It is scottish or old English.

    At least that’s the info I got from doing 60 seconds of research. Which is what some of these mothers should do.

    Posted by J. Anderson | August 24, 2013, 6:35 am
  394. Even though the article is so far out that anyone with a brain would know its not true. Even though it clearly states in the article its satire. The black folks still think its real. Its like they searched for stuff like this to whine and there showing what has been known for centuries how deficient they are in the art of thinking! What can i say. LOL

    Posted by nobaddog | March 30, 2014, 10:57 pm
  395. Judge Cabrera here. After several circuit appeals to higher courts, a panel of Federal Appellate Judges consisting of Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and The Tooth Fairy, my ruling has been unanimously reversed as unconstitutional.

    Jesus, do you all feel better now?

    The same people who are believing this fictional story are the ones naming their kids these “names” in the real world. What does that tell you?

    Posted by Judge Ryan Cabrera | April 24, 2014, 3:48 am

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  1. Pingback: Black Mother First Person Arrested for Naming Her Child « The Peoples News - August 7, 2008

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